The Space You Occupy

This week the concept of our space has been resonating with me.  We all have a space or a bubble that surrounds us.  It carries and transmits our energy.  So how the world experiences us is contained within that.  It is strongest when you positive and most weakest when you negative.  So there is definitely something to be said about staying positive and focused on that for as long as you possibly can.

I experienced a meditation once where I was asked to get into that peaceful and safe space and then imagine myself creating my island around me that started containing those elements.  I then had to visualise myself going through life and going through my day to day experiences with this island always around me.  And whichever circumstance, person or experience that come onto my island was governed by my laws and my rules.  And my laws and rules where of peace, love, harmony and security!  What a stunning image that made

So this is more to encourage you to start looking at how to build this island around you and make it one where you are safe within it, one where you feel strong and loved and one where you feel at peace.  The great news is that if you can get this to be your constant, it does not matter where you go or where you find yourself, you have this island that radiates from the inside and keeps you safe and guided through your life experiences.

I am sure you have all sense some people with bad vibes or just get some weird feeling when you around them.  You somehow always have your back up.  And then there are some where you feel connected and safe with.  That has got something to do with what they projecting from the inside and the laws of their island that follows them as they navigate life.  It is also good to know that powerful positive thoughts and feelings hold strong against any negative thoughts or feelings.  Light does tae away dark.  So don't stress if you step into a hostile negative island, your positive laws will shine light.

I just find that living in this big city in Africa that it is a tad aggressive and full of people on a mission to get somewhere and obtain an outcome.  I am one of the star players in that game. So I do find that to be the dominant energy of JHB.  It is results orientated and getting somewhere fast.  No wonder most of us need time outs and leaving the city every December to replenish our souls outside of it.  Just a note that maybe if we started calming ourselves on the inside and started with just the basics of love and light for who we are just as we are.  We can find  a peace and security within our space or island.

That would be awesome for us to go out and into the city and experience each other on those terms.  So hopefully, this is the start of taking some thought at how we start with building our islands of peace, harmony, love and security. Happy Zen week to you!

Mwah!

When You Take Sex Out The Equation

Would you believe me if I said that every sexual encounter you have gone through has the potential to teach you so much if you willing to open up to the wisdom it has.  If you had to remove sex out the equation and simply look at the situation, you will be amazed with what comes out of that.  You can start to see how you could be blocked in your communication in actually asking for what you want and meaning it.  You can understand what it means to trust and be trusted.  So I encourage you to take sex out the equation and look at the situation from a different angle.  The tale that is told will astonish even you :)

Relationships Are Energy Exchange! What Are You Giving?

I have been working with a Guru trying to understand the whole Tantra thing deeper.  The one conversation we had really got me thinking and I thought I would share :)  He spoke about relationships and how they are about energy exchange.  It is about giving and receiving energy.

A very interesting exercise he asked me to do which I strongly suggest you all try is the following.  Take a page and divide it into 2 sides.  One side is about what you want to give to a partner and the other side is about what you want to receive from a partner.  You probably only really want to take note when you do this for the 3rd time.

What has been fascinating for me through this process is understanding what you truly want to give someone else when you with them.  We tend to build walls to protect ourselves and it puts us in a position to keep on taking from someone.  Also, the less we know about who we are and what makes us happy, how can we know what we are able to give.  I mean is it not the safest place to learn than with yourself?  How to give to yourself, how to nurture yourself, how to make you happy!  If you can't try that with yourself, how would you be able to give to another.

What  has been so profound to discover, is that the more you get comfortable with giving, the more you get secure in what you about and what you offer that is wholesome and good.  Go on, figure it out!

Guilt Is A Fearful Response To Wanting Forgiveness!

To feel guilty is really about acknowledging that something is not right on the inside with how you behaved, a choice you made, the way you treated someone or how someone felt about a decision you made or how you acted.  It is a twisted way of asking yourself for forgiveness.  I got this from reading an article by Gary Zukav.  It really resonated with me.  He described guilt as a fearful response from one's personality.

I took away that it is a fearful response to asking for forgiveness.  To understand that you could have made a better choice, behaved better or been more in touch with your best rather than your insecure side.  So the trick is to forgive yourself and know that the power is in the now for you to make a better choice in this moment.

That has been the greatest realisation for me.  That no matter what you feel and how bad you feel, it does not help punishing yourself with more destructive behaviour or playing suffer the martyr!  There is a power within you to make better choices and move forward better and stronger that you are now.  And you have access to that! So why not embrace it and move forward better than before?

So go for the great and know that your best is within you.  It is a matter of you accessing it!  Read more of Gary had to say : Gary Zukav - 5 Things You Can Learn From Guilt

The Story Of The Shape Shifter

This week's tale of insight is around the form in which your desires are currently manifesting into.  I read about this concept that we have all we need.  We just need to recognise the current form it is in.  If it is not in our desired form, it can be transformed.  That is as far as I got.  The transforming side of things I am still working on.  But there is some truth in recognising the form of what your desire is currently manifested in.

Seeing that we are on Man Awesomeness month, let's take your perfect relationship with your perfect man.  For some the perfect relationship can be currently manifested in a solid strong amazing friendship.  It could be a work relationship or a person you know from your sports club or someone you go to class with.  How you are with them lives out your desire.  And that says something about where you comfortable playing to experience being your perfect relationship with your perfect man.

I do see that as you drop baggage and peel away misunderstandings and make decisions to tell yourself a different story, that the form or status quo does start to shift.  I have realised that my bliss zones are definitely in the emotional and mental areas of what I call perfect relationships.  And the physical area was not always something I used to balance well.  It somehow used to get de-prioritised when going for the bliss factors in a relationship.  So every perfect relationship for me in the past has been one where the physicality could never manifest fully!  It was always deep and amazing within the mental and emotional areas.  So examples of the perfect man relationships I had were predominately straight men that I had amazing connections with and it never went further than amazing mental and emotional connections.

As I have learnt to balance the areas in my life and unpacking making different choices for my happiness, so do I see how the shifts have happened in my life.  So whether you are attached or single, the same concept applies to you.  You will manifest on a form that best serves where your desire and priorities are currently settled!  The good news, it can change when you story inside changes! Go Strong!

Figuring It Out

One thing some of us tend to forget is just how human the man is that is perfect for us is.  When a man in our life plays the prince charming role, is our saviour, gives us safety, gives us comfort, it gets difficult for us when he surrenders into what is human about him.  To be fully human means that he has times when he is insecure, overloaded with his challenges and dealing with himself.

The trick to figure out is how we understand that and how we get a clue that in some areas we need to take responsibility.  He does not always need to carry and solve our need to feel safe, feel loved and feel like we matter.  Just simply by us being open to understand and give him the space to be off the hook, we open up a space to love him as he is and give him room to be himself.

This has been a "AHA" I have recently had.  Someone very dear to me, needed his space to sort out his challenges.  Being one of my heroes and rocks, it really got me scared about how I could go on without  his full attention on approving how I was doing.  I have also realised that he could not really be himself around me when he was down or going through something difficult as it was always about what he was doing for me.  The burden of being a hero to someone!  I do realise that it was a huge wake up for me to take some responsibility in some areas of my life.

So my tale today is that create a space for the man that is perfect for you to be himself and be perfectly human. And it starts with figuring out the clues of where you need to take responsibility for yourself.  You can figure it out!

The Story Of The Sandcastle

I have been stationed in Durban for a while.  Look out for some pics from my adventures on the beach.  The ocean has always been the one thing that repairs and restores my wholeness.  So I am very blessed and grateful to be spending time at one of my most favorite spots in South Africa.  A little piece of Heaven, just north of Durban.

So in my time of rest and restore, I have gotten back into my reading which is awesome as my mind needs some challenge and growth.  My current book explores how to access the Natural Leader that resides within you.  But I was really struck by the concept of how they saw change.

"It is in the midst of change that you experience chaos and like you are biggest idiot!  This is the place that your fears come up to slap you in the face screaming at you to stop.  That is when you know it is just a matter of staying the course to the eventual change that you working towards"

That was my take from my reading so far.  I am sure the author put it much more eloquently that I did.  It does ask the question, how do we know that what we have built is a sandcastle or a solid weather the storm type structure.  Sandcastles might look beautiful, but take so much effort and stress to maintain from the ocean, the wind and other potential harm.  And when they do get destroyed by the ocean or wind, we tend to try and rebuild them as they were without learning a thing or to.  And it seems like such a waste to let something with all that hard work be "destroyed"

What I am beginning to see is that breakdowns and destruction of old beliefs and ways to seeing are necessary for you to rethink, regroup and make choices to do it differently.  As Robin put it " You need a breakdown to breakthrough"  I found that very priceless and very profound!  You need limiting beliefs and fears to be shattered so you can rebuild using a new view.

So today's tale is one of keep on EVOLVING!  That is how to stay of service to you and of service to others in your life.  When you allow change to come in and you start adapting and looking at how it grows you, you realise how it makes you better to deal with situations and allows you to move forward.

I am not saying this is easy and I personally am struggling to breaking through to a new way of seeing the world and my role in it.  But one thing I can say to you is that it is about easing into it and taking it one moment at a time.  Take the time to centre and get clear on what is important to you and decide today that you will do at least 2 to 3 things to make what you want a reality.  It could be as simple as just making the list today, tomorrow doing the first step and next day and the next day.  It is putting those snowballs of change in place and one day they will take on their own momentum.

So here is to stepping through the chaos one step at a time, one positive action at a time.  Here is to promising yourself some actions that take you closer to what you really desire.  Go Strong!

Currently reading "The Leader Who Had No Title" by Robin Sharma

The Story Of Transmution

Today's tale is a rather simple yet powerful one.  And the one I believe is essential to one's evolution and moving on to greater things.  Feel what needs feeling and surrender it to be transformed!  

Energy can never be destroyed, just transformed from one form to another.  Emotions are such powerful forms of energy and our job is to feel them fully so they can pass through and transform.  It is those unprocessed emotions / feelings that go into shadow that are dangerous to us.  They fuel such confused behaviour from us to others.  We lash out, get a buttons pushed, snap or simply hate situations or people not fully knowing why.  We can take on destructive behaviours such as smoking, overeating, drinking too much etc.  They relate back to unprocessed emotions.

So today know that you are strong enough to lean into what you are feeling that seems like the tip of the iceberg of darkness.  And it is ok to feel it fully.  It is after that, that you come to a place of choice and can allow it to transform into beauty and serve you rather than cripple you.  In your service to others in how you treat them and how you are a gift simply by being you.  There are very strong reflections between you and another to look at emotions and feel what needs feeling.

My life today constantly reflects back to me how I need lean into my power and talents to respond as my best. I feel like I have a constant call to just be at my best all the time.  I could feel the pressure to always be the best so that I could feel that I could add value and contribute to whatever I was dealing with.  But I am human and there are times where I want to just be without a title or expectation and I feel like a failure when I feel like wanting a break or some time out to just breathe.

The truth, I am good just as I am even if I did nothing!

Recently, I finally leaned into it and felt that feeling of failure and the unforgivable feeling for simply wanting to take time to breathe and be me without having to contribute to the better of the world, my team or anyone else.  It felt like crap and was pretty painful.  But after leaning into it, I can now surrender that to God and ask to see it differently to choose differently going forward.  And I can admit, I can now see the support I need to give me some breathing space to allow me to get my oxygen mask working so I can give to others without depleting me.

Feel what needs feeling and surrender it to a Higher Power to inspire you in seeing it differently.

Confessions Of A Call Girl!

How crazy has my life been?  Supercrazy!  I am waiting for my feet to touch ground so I can breathe again.  I have this recording from Pema Chodron and she says when you open and curious, a series of challenges will come your way! Dammit!

But there is some truth in that though.  When you open up to other people especially those that irritate you and drive you crazy, you are in a position to learn so much more about you.

If any of you have watched this series "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" , it does unfold an interesting story about Belle.  The sexy free spirited call girl.  Although a lady that chooses to get paid quite a bit of money for sex, I saw an interesting angle to how she approached dealing with various men.

Her aim was to understand men, unpack them for who they were and enjoy them in that moment.  She took them as they were and experienced the best of them and moved along.  So that is something you can take as such a key insight.  Those frogs we kiss along the way before we get to our prince.  Each frog offers something beautiful and so if we stay open and learn what we need to, we get closer to knowing who we are and get to our best to enjoy that with our prince.

So for those in the dating game, go ahead and experience the best of those men.  If it does not blossom further, take the best away from the experience.  For those that are dealing with people that irritate you, anger you, they come with perfect teaching when you curious and open.

Stay Curious!  Mwah!

Deep Within You Are Some Fascinating Tales of Insight

I have always believed that we have the answer deep inside us.  It is how we access it that is the work.  When we get still, meditate, connect with the higher self, we have a very good chance of connecting with that deeper truth.  Some of us consult mediums, oracle cards etc.  But all this is a form of us connecting with the deeper truth and wisdom we know is there.

I have discovered this process which I feel is a great way for you to connect with the stories that come from deep within you.  Have fun with this and let your story be told.  It is not as easy the first time but it does go the same way as interpreting a dream.

I tried this out for the first time in the week and I have got a clue to take further.  It is not clear in what I need to do but the story is quite clear on the direction/theme.  I am entering a new phase and area in my life and the adventure and opportunities are around me and very exciting.  I have the choice to now let go of some old thinking and attitudes that cannot serve me in my new adventures.  I can go deeper into who I am and my wisdom but now need to invite the support and be aware of support around me all the time.  It is time to express my higher self more clearly.

So now it is time to unpack that into specifics as I live my life.

Hope your stories unfold as you use this process below.  Mwah!

The Story Of Your Ego!

Darlins!  I hope you enjoyed yesterday's post and that it gave you some inspiration to start operating and intending from your core.  Today's one is a short and sweet one.  I had the most interesting discussion with a dear friend of mine yesterday.  I had been back at work for one day and already at the end of the day, I was on the telephone, going on about how unhappy, frustrated and tired I was of all the DRAMA!  And when my friend told me the 180 degree turn in experiencing me during holiday versus post holiday, got me thinking!

The EGO can be like a set of lenses / sexy clothing that we wear.  When we realise that what we wearing is not who we are, how brave can we be to take it off?  I realised how deep I was in my EGO when it came to my career and making my mark in corporate.  I was completely idetifying with the form of high flying executive! It is a sexy piece of clothing that I have forgotten is not me!

So in my frustration, I read an interesting article by Echart Tolle.  It speaks about breaking that barrier.  And that is my wish for you all today.  Find the space between what you think you are and what you really are.  Within everything there is a crack where light can enter!  So today, take the first step of being wiling to open just a little space between what you think you are and what you really are.

Be curious especially when you are feeling irritated, anger, frustrated, hopeless etc and start looking at what your mind is saying.  And then realise that it is a story playing to you and somehwere, there is an observer letting the story unfold as it is.  In that space between, is the GRACE to  have a new story unfold that can serve you.

Go Strong!  Today I am merely opening a space for something better.  Mwah!