A Fresh Start is always available . . . . . . .

For as long as I can remember, I have loved newness and novelty. I remember being a little kid unable to sleep the night before the first day of school. I loved the idea of possibilities, grabbing new opportunities and doing my best academically. I love it when it is time to get a new journal. It is fresh and unwritten and the beauty is that I am able to put anything I want on that page that makes life real for me. Even once I have one, the fact that I can turn over a page and start fresh on a blank page is power to me! How awesome is that! I love Monday mornings and the start of a new month. All reminders that the next step is all that counts!

It is especially this time of year that I am bubbling with excitement. A new year, a fresh start and a way to take stock, consolidate and move forward. I love the process. For me, that is the only time my past is useful and the time I feel is worth looking back on. I have been filled with nostalgia lately and been very drawn to the time in my life when my world took a 180 degree turn.

My first day during my first year at university!

I remember how I felt the world was at my feet and that all possibilities were available to me to take and make a reality in my life. It was my desire to feel that again, that I found myself back at the university during my holiday in Cape Town South Africa.

What I believe is that every moment is a moment of power! A fresh start is always available to you when you choose it to be. That gets me very excited. That I have the power to change my day, the next hour and ultimately my experience of anything that finds itself in my space. There is wonder and beauty and it all resides in the eye of the beholder.

I do tend to forget that when weighed down with outcomes from work, living live and making it through any day, week or month. Being weighed down with pain / baggage also makes the concept of changing your reality foreign.

One of the key learnings I have taken away from this year is that all is a function of me! I am the one that must allow, take risks and make the decision. I am the one that either distances myself or brings myself closer to my bliss. I have taken some leaps in understanding the shame and hatred that I carried and have worked towards releasing that. The true trick was to really step into it and experience it and then feeling the freedom.

I have seen how when I change my perspective, how my world around me changes. I have made leaps in my professional space and I see how it is coming together all because I have chosen to be authentic with my dealings with my peers, my leaders, my team and myself. I have made some scary decisions (my perspective) but knowing at my core it is necessary for the next step in my growth.

I understand that on the personal front and life outside my work, that more work is needed. There are layers of pain to step into and experience. So far I take it one step at a time and let the healing take its course. But I live with hope as my intent to give permission / allow is growing by the day in this space.

So as 2009 is in sunset and 2010 is in sunrise know that a Fresh Start is always available to you. Resolutions may come and go, ups and downs will be had, laughter and tears are there as well! But through it all, there is choice to live the next moment better than the one you're currently in. So why not just do it . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you . . . .

Rather than hold onto a broken dream, I'll just hold onto love . . . . .
So don't hold on too tight cause I'm gonna make it without you . . . .




The above are rather powerful words for me. In most cases, people would think that whoever quoted that has a broken heart! That is one way to look at it!

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw those words. My realisation was that life is full of possibilities and that as we move through our respective paths we experience and from our experience we get clear on what we desire. So why focus on the lost dream or bad experience? Why not focus on the clarity and creating new experiences from that clarity?

Being that desire is ever expanding, we are always in a position of power wherever we find ourselves at any given time.

As we experience bliss, joy or love we ultimately come into gratitude which is the essence of the law of attraction that creates more in our lives. As we continue to experience, our standpoint from which desire is different to that of yesterday's. It is more and that means our desire is expanded and what we desire to experience is different from what we wanted yesterday. As we experience the sh1t in our lives, we are still at the standpoint of what we desire to have. Great news is that we get clearer on what we want even it is nasty.

That is the bottom line here.!

No matter what we experience (good or bad) we get to a position of clarity of what we desire. That is awesome as the next step is to allow it to become apart of our experience.

What I know for sure is this!

When I was on the first leg of my holiday in amazing Cape Town South Africa, I found myself drawn to the University where I studied. As I stood taking in the beauty of that universityand its surroundings, I could look back and smile. I remember the little boy that stepped into that world. From all that he carried, held onto and knew to the man he is today, I can only be grateful to God/Universe/Higher Power that I had been guarded, inspired and guided into the choices and life I have to date. With every past experience I could see how clearer I got on what I truly desired and how it came about when I allowed it into my life.

For this Christmas, my prayer for you all is to realise that you are always in a position of power as you are blessed with a soul, desire, intuition and choice! So what if a dream is shattered or broken along the way. Did not reach my goal weight, have an expanding waste line, missed that promotion or still single after sooooooo long? So fucken what????????

Rather than hold onto a broken dream, hold onto love instead! With openness, creativity, listening to your soul and choice, you will always find a way to make it and move forward! We just that blessed when we allow it, life is truly filled with limitless possibilities. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Go forth and experience! Revel in it, feel it and simply be aware! You at any point can take stock of your standpoint on what you desire. The fun begins when you start understanding that you can allow the reality of your true desires . . . . . . . .

Blessings and happy festive season xoxoxo


Pictire taken by Crazeebee. The grand hall of the university where CB graduated!

A tribute to MASCULINITY

Without You

Have I been blind?

For the first time in my life I feel I've opened up my eyes

Since you've arrived like an angel from the sky

I'm on a spiritual high

So don't you ever go away

I could never face

Losing you would kill my faith

In a higher place

What kind of world

Would it be without you

I couldn't breathe without you here

What kind of world

Would I see without you

I can't dream without you here

Beautiful boy

How on earth did I do something worth deserving you?

My better half

How I cherish through and through every part of you

I do

Loving you's made me whole

Now I belong

I found my heart

Promise me we'll always stay

The way we are today

What kind of world

Would it be without you

I couldn't breathe without you here

What kind of world

Would I see without you

I can't dream without you here

I can't ever imagine

If this never would happened

I thank God everyday

Almost lost you forever

But I always remember

That you're my saving grace

by Christina Aguilera (Back to Basics)

Maybe I could have some FAITH in LOVE!

Amongst all the craziness this week, the above phrase has been a constant in my head. This was really anchored when I was listening to Marianne Williamson about making miracles happen. She spoke about that in any situation one should always focus on the following concept:

"How am I thinking? Who I am being?"

The bottom line is that we on this journey of becoming the Human Being we intending to be! You do not perceive your best interests as well as God does! We are not perfect and we do not have a FULL view of the situation we in. Our soul does, God does so thus, would it not make sense to enter a situation with an open mind, "empty bowl" and letting it be filled with what the situation brings?????

I loved this when I was listening to it. It re-enforces the concept of "Just in Time" for me. You get what you need at the right time for what the experience calls for. That has been a shift for me lately. I was very much on a tangent of why me? WTF now? What am I doing that is attracting this? Do I really have to?

But lately it has been a question of: OK what is the gem here? I trust in JIT, I have what I need so let me just be present and experience what I need to! I open my mind to let it be filled with what the situation/experience allows me to fill it with!

When we tell ourselves, I allow the wisdom, I allow myself to step up to what this calls for, I got the support around me. You will be amazed at what will unfold for you take you forward.

Beauty and the Beast

"Tale as old as time, True as it can be, Barely even friends, Then somebody bends unexpectedly..............

Just a little change, Small to say the least, Both a little scared, Neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast!"

I love this song from the Beauty and the Beast Feature film. The world discovered Celine Dion (and all know that meise went on to rule the charts) but more than that, the message within this story holds so much I can relate to my life. There you had the Beast that craved and needed love to transform. And by exposing who he was and allowing himself to love and be loved, he transformed into a prince. His true beauty became a reality when he FELT!

I have recently been through an experience where I was given the opportunity to FEEL a spectrum of emotions! Truly FEEL! It was scary and intoxicating at the same time. Feeling shame which spiralled into anger which spiralled into hatred which then dissolved! And all because I made a choice to step into it and not run to the safety of POSITIVE THINKING to drown out the ugliness!

Again, very consistent with the theme I believe we need to embrace more in life. Make space for the great and it will naturally appear as it is inherent within all of us. I have learnt that we all have parts within us where the Beast dwells, lurks and makes itself known in the most inopportune times in our lives. It is craving freedom to be expressed and be have its presence felt!

With all this spiritual stuff that I have been reading about and practising. How to stay positive, thinking of the outcome you most desire and visualizing the way life should be are a theme. What I have seen lately is that without the body and its intelligence in the equation, don't expect much manifestation to happen. The body has to buy into what you putting out there as once that is all aligned, there is the reality!

I mean can I really be the world's fastest runner if I so visualise it? No, I do not believe that it is possible for me to be that as my body does not buy into it and vibrate that in every cell that is within me!

So today, I write about my experience of stepping into hatred and shame that I carried in my body. I gave permission to feel it, truly feel it and have it expressed! To my surprise, when all was done, felt and expressed, thrown up, there was a space! Gratefully, in flowed love and peace for myself and the appreciation and love for the parts of my body I sent into exile because of what I carried.

So find your ways to express your shame, fear, anger, hatred and set the emotion free by feeling it! Make that space to invite love, lightness and bliss into. In the wilderness where I had this experience, I was free to scream and inflict fierce force by smacking water to nothingness! I am still figuring out safe ways to do that in my day to day life. Willl keep you posted.

The other day, I went on a pillow smacking rampage and will admit it felt pretty good! I love the lightness that comes with expressing all that is to be expressed. I can feel more and can sense what my inner truth is more clearly! I have also been remined lately that you are free to be you, express all that there is to you. Those that REALLY MATTER will always see the beauty within you. I thank God for those people in my life!

So dare to feel, express and be exposed and vulnerable! That space will open and then what naturally floats up will surprise even you! Go forward strongly in LOVE!

Dedicated and with gratitude to Angela Deutchmann

All that is great can naturally float to the surface....

The past couple of days, I have been aware of themes that focus on making space, setting down baggage, burning through issues or cutting the cords! All this leads to a feeling of letting go, surrendering and TRUSTING! It is not being afraid but having faith and trust as I move forward to bliss!

And so when I think more about it, our greatness, inner being, bliss sweet spot can be weighed down by many things in the ocean we call life! It is when we make space to let go of the weights, burn through the ropes that hold down the greatness and surrender to the natural ability to "FLOAT" that our greatness / inner being / universal intelligence rises to the surface and makes itself available for us to enjoy.

I guess this is why I have had these urges to start de-cluttering of my spare room that has been filled with my past. I spoke about this in Cleaning Room.

So right now when I look to my life, I do see the need to make "space" especially within my professional life when it comes to operating on a new level. I also see the need for space in my personal life to let love in.

So this is short and sweet but something that has been BIG for me over the past week. Make the space (the process is different for all of us). Burn through your issues, lay down baggage, let go of restraints and make the space! What is inherently great / intelligent / perfect / knowing will float up to the surface to your consciousness and you will be able to enjoy and even surprise yourself at what was in that yummy center!

With Love ................................. CB xoxo