Fem Fatale! Queen Deluxe! Love em or Hate em?

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Moffie! Queen! Those were the words that really cut through me at some point in my life.  Whenever some perceived cruel person who utter them to me, I felt like the worst piece of human scum that roamed the earth!  It meant me being a freak, being a monster and just not being someone that deserved a place in the sun like the rest of the normal human beings.

I can just imagine what a challenge it is for some young people out there seeing what is evident on the outside and how the inside differs from that.  As we see in a butch girl and a camp/feminine boy!  I mean I can just imagine what turmoil there must be trying to figure out how you should be and how you should act just to be left alone to breathe and have a place under the sun.

I get it because this topic has really challenged me quite a bit in the past.  How real a man am I really when I have the flamboyant expression down pat, the wrist that can eloquently add drama to what I say, my other mannerisms and dress sense that require people to do a double take to just make sure they seeing something different than the norm out in public!  Down to my parents and especially my Dads who for some reason just could not handle this little freak who looked like a boy but on all other accounts behaved like the perfect daddy's girl!

So in dealing with this pain of what makes a true man, I have had growing fascination at how masculine and feminine energy inhabit us as individuals.  It really shifts how I see the traditional male and female role.  I find the shift moving towards the concept of coming back to the individual and their make up of how the male and female energy co-exists within them.  It comes down to a matter of energies displayed regardless of the human body they inhabit!

What is clear to me is that both are required as they the aim is that they co-exist and compliment each other rather than compete and go to war with each other.  From where I stand, it seems easier for our Hetro pals to get the synergy of the blending of female and male energy versus our gay pals.  From reading up on it, the common themes exis belowt:

The Male Energy is defined as outward, hard, firm, logical, strong, rational, rough, loud.  And the Female Energy is described as receptive, intuitive, inward, sensitive, delicate, emotional, nurturing. 

Masculinity has its good and bad points which include : protective, eagerness, outwardly helpful, harsh, overly competitive and violent.  So does Femininity which includes : openess, being receptive, listening, nurturing, being weak, insecure, tentative and needy

When I look at the above traits/themes,  I can see how at work and with my immediate family, I comfortably inhabit a powerful masculine energy and with my friends and in romance I shift to strong female energy.   And with that comes the pros and cons.  I get significant results/outcomes in the work I do and with my leadership style that make me so successful but I am known to be cold, indifferent and hardcore!  I am considered very loyal, reliable and understanding to those in my intimate circles but on some occasions seen as weak, needy and insecure.

I am realising more and  more, that it is all about balancing the energies and approaching various aspects of life from that balanced perspective.  So amen that I am in a male's body that functions in a very healthy way.  I do believe that I privilege the Female Energy characteristics a whole lot better as I have judged them as superior to the Male Energy characteristics.  I do believe there is room to invite the masculine energy to be present in more of the various aspects of life.  So ofcourse, there is definitely room for more balance.

So this is dedicated to my sisters out there.   Do you and Do it Proudly.  You have all you need in you to shine bright and be yourself and be happy! Mwah! 

Be open to let that inner butchness have a space to exist with the royalty as well. ;)

You Are Always Equipped To Be Bigger Than The Moment You Are In!

Recent events this week made me realise how quickly we can discount our power and greatness as we let a moment get bigger and mightier than us to a point where we are overwhelmed.  Today I simply remember that :

We are equipped with the all the necessary to be bigger than any moment we find ourselves in.  It is a matter of letting our greatness flow through!

I love the above pic as it has the ocean.  With all its power and it simply flows!  That is kind of power we can tap into we simply allow it to flow through us.  Today I recognise that gift in us all!

Confusing the Message with the Messenger!

It is one of the 101's of happiness.  You make yourself happy first!  You are the only one that can truly make yourself happy!  The minute you outsource this to another person, you are destined for anxiety, stress, fear and pain.  The reason being rather simple.  You cannot control another person in what they think, believe, feel and ultimately action.

I was reminded of this in the last week based on a wobbly I had with the current Wiseman Nos 7 in my life.  For a while, I was comfortable that he represented what I desired of a man and that he was a constant reminder of what I wanted to enjoy in a regular encounter with a man.  Somehow, there was a shift from me feeling all good and happy just simply enjoying the experience to it becoming about him being the source of my happiness in the men / relationship space.  And so came the desperation, the neediness, the anxiety and the depression!

I realised how easy it was to slip into making someone other than ourselves responsible for our happiness when it comes to those special people in our lives that we get so much great from.  If we are not careful to keep ourselves in check and honest with what we truly feeling, we end up very easily confusing the message of love, joy and happiness with the messenger.  Thus the messenger ends up being the source of our love, happiness and joy. 

I forgot about the essence of the message with Wiseman Nos 7.  The opportunity to build and share intimacy with someone at their core versus on physical appearance alone.  That truly knowing and loving someone is bigger than what they look like.  That being sexy is bigger than what reflects back from a mirror, that sexy is a state of mind and being!  Getting that confused with the messenger meant that the truth of what Wiseman Nos 7 was teaching me was not burning bright within myself.  It was more me only feeling that with him around.  That is simply dangerous!

So today, I share with you all to look at the source of your happiness, joy and love.  May you have the awareness and courage to see the difference between the true message and keep that separate from the messenger! 

I am not saying it is an easy thing to do but a fruitful one when you can tell the difference.  You then have a choice to embody the message and not expect the messenger to do that work for you!  I am starting to see it and now I know the work required is to simply be brave to let go of the messenger and hold onto the message and allow it to take root in me and burn bright.

Be Blessed!

LadyBugs! Lots of LadyBugs!

I love LadyBugs!  My love for them came oneday when I was watching Under the Tuscan Sun.  One of my all time favourite movies.  I love how the character went through changes after peeling away layer after layer of pain.  There was one scene where she was getting some insight on the art of allowing. 

The Story was about a little girl who wanted to catch some lady bugs.  She would search all day long.  And then she got tired, she simply slept in the garden and when she woke up, she was covered in LadyBugs.

So the moral of the story is that when you let go and simply let the flow of life surround you, you get what you need. LadyBugs, Lots of LadyBugs. 

Yesterday, I encountered 2 LadyBugs, one in the morning perching on my Iron and then a diamond one that one of my dearest friends was wearing last night.  This made me all happy.  Simply a sign of allowing and me being in flow with life.  I discovered this technique a month ago after reading Rhonda Byrne's "The Power".  Found it a fascinating practice of hers, so I simply put it out there a month ago.  The proof showed up yesterday.  LOL!

So my advise.  Get a sign to remind you of when you in flow with life and simply allowing the great into it.  We all need these gentle reminders now and again as we can get so easily distracted from what is important.  I never thought I could see more than 1 LadyBug in a day.  But I did.  So give a try!  It's fun if anything else.

Song Crush : Celebrating the Good Life

In honour of celebrating over 100 posts.  One of my favourite J.Lo smooth songs.  I am feelin good and when I don't, this song reminds of how good life can be when your mind and heart make it so.  Can I  get some hands up in the air and heads bobbing!

We find the reasons why one step at a time . . . .

What a week this has been!  I have gone from feeling extremely high as a result of living in my personal power, making valuable contributions, feeling apart of something great to the other side of feeling like I am drowning, overwhelmed by too many choices and lack of clarity and feeling violated and abused!  It was a mad roller coaster and as I write this, I am feeling rather tired and grateful for my couch :)  At any given moment this week, it just felt that there so much to think about, take in, be aware of and the clarity of what was important and the next step was not always there!  And I am left with alot of anger that wants to be expressed!

So this got me thinking.  I remember speaking about power moments and gravitating towards having more of them in a given day, week, month etc.  But what if it is more doing the work necessary to bringing the best of you to any moment that you have in front of you.  When I look back at this week, there were some great moments when everything just went right and all there were simply a series of wonderful moments, it just came together perfectly.  I felt a swell up of gratitude and soaking up how great it all was and being in the power moment was just easy!  But then there were those nasty ones and the cross road! How you handle it ???????

That for me was the powerful realisation.  In those nasty bad moments, when you look back, can you really see if the best of you was brought out in that moment??????  I know there were the moments where I was completely irrational and ruthless and took the "off with your head" approach.  And in retrospect, I understand why I did that and where it was coming from.  My particular case this week as all about my resistance to change.  I could link how aggressive I get when the status quo changes that takes my control or manifestation of harmony away!  I go into charging bull take no prisoners mode!  And Lord does the best of ruthlessness come out!  Definitely something to release : The rigidness to change that probably is good for me but because the how does not match my how, it is not to be embraced.

But having said that, all I really wanted to share this week is that do not simply write off the bad moments and focus on the good powerful ones.  The bad moments and how you are in that moment has its place and can be held to the light to understand and get insight from.  You can still bring the best of you to those moments.  You can still be empowered, clear, decisive and respectful.  And when you find that your power is no where to be found in the nasty moment, the opportunity for the discovery of a blinspot, a shadow is there to be released or put to the light.  The connectivity constantly amazes me!

So here is to bringing the best of you to any moment and having the path revealed to you to get what you need to be the best in any moment! Mwah!

Digesting the New . . . . . Breakaway . . . . .

What would you say if I said that we all wear "Eye Lenses". They can serve as quite powerful assets or liabilities depending on where we find ourselves in life. A very interesting tool that helps us navigate the territory we call life. Heavily backed up by perception, insight, judgement and belief! I am constantly surprised by how MINDSET guides and allows the quality of experience we have in life.

This became very apparent to me of late as I see new doors opening before me. And as I make the choice to step through, I am realising how letting go of certain ideas of how I see myself do not serve me and that the new awaits. By new I speak of seeing myself and life in a NEW LIGHT!

Lately, I have noticed at HOW I DIGEST NEW IDEAS / CONCEPTS that impact me and my life!

This takes me back to my teens. I lived in a small town and knew I was different or at least not meant to live the life that I saw my community subscribe to! At 17 I realised that it was my attraction to men that was more than just me being their friend! Somehow I knew that all would be well when I left my home to study in the big city and gay mecca in South Africa. Cape Town if you did not know!

I dropped the view I had that I was a freak, bad or did not belong and that it was ok to let that part of me come out into the light and be real / tangible to me and the world! That door definitely opened and I am so grateful to this day that I stepped through it. I now see myself a person who just happens to love sharing himself with men. It still means that fundamentally I am a man, a son, a brother, a lover, a great professional , basically ME!

A reason why I love watching Oprah interviewing the stars. When they tell their stories of how they made it, there is an element of "luck" and being in the right place at the right time. But what is sooooooooo common between all of them is their MINDSET! How they see the see world and how that has worked out for them. A mindset which was a deep belief which lead to powerful expectation and then it happened.

I believe this is true for me as well. My mindset and powerful belief and expectation made me decide and convince my parents that Cape Town was it. Being ok with being gay lead to a wonderful experience at varsity and has followed me into the workplace where I can me and be respected for my talent rather than the way I live my life. Delicious indeed.

I am seeing more and more as layers peel away in me understanding me how mindset feeds deep powerful expectations. What intrigues me more is how you work that back from powerful expectation to mindset! Wonderful that you chose different simply by using free will, imagination and desire! But I suppose easier said than done?!?!?! Or is it really that difficult to dream? I noticed this concept when I asked one of mentees what turns her on and makes her happy! As confused as she was about life and herself, she could in 2 sentences tell me what it was she aspired to! We know, it is making it real that is our challenge!

Bringing it back to me, I am faced with opportunities from all angles that make me very very happy yet overwhelmed by all the limitless opportunities that are there to be crafted for my benefit. The abundance scares me sometimes. But that is a whole other topic for debate.

My career has taken off and I can see how it is beginning to soar all in the people I have to engage with lately, the volume of people that now follow me , moving to a more strategic focus and being trusted to guide / polish important business decisions and now looking to shape, bottle and sell VALUE! My personal life is also making shifts, I am feeling sexier as the days go by and I notice how I am getting different reactions as I go out there, my friendship circles are becoming soooooo diverse and delicious in what I am exposed to in terms of mindsets, beliefs and ways of living. I see how there is a need to breakaway from limiting mindset in how I live my day to day life and to step into the world that is before me which is the sole basis of the Project Bliss : Coming Home to CB. I am putting myself in a position to look at the way I live and if it was a "reality show", would I be front row and proud to have played a part in it!

Anyhoo, all I really wanted to say is that imagination / desire / fantasy / dreaming is there to bring you to the door that you can step through to experience what simply makes you happy and feels good. Look at how you digest new ideas and concepts that get presented to you!

It could be something as simple as seeing yourself (in career) operating at your boss's level. Does it sit comfortably, does it excite you, could expect that you would rock at that? For us single career slaves, seeing yourself as a loving, committed husband/wife that has all the time for their family to share those precious loving moments? Even more scarier ideas that you are good enough just as you are right now! That you are capable to create the life you desire and that all the tools, ability and knowledge are already with you!

So open up, embrace, digest and simply breakaway from your current level in life! I am seeing that when your mind is in the right place, inspired action is rather easy as your luck (Universal guidance and protection) is with you . . . . The beauty of what my life is today validates that to me xoxoxo

Prioritising Moments!

I hate traffic! I try avoiding it at all costs. Spending time in my car is seen as a absolute waste of time of me. I have always felt the opportunity cost of being stuck in a car was just too high! What else could I have been doing and achieving? I get really frustrated everytime I find myself driving to work or somewhere and then there is traffic jam. I can get pretty angry about the the whole situation! I know now that what the bigger bottom line is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I carry the following affirmation:

"There is not enough time to do all I want and need to . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

And when I look at the reality at my life, it is a constant battle between what I love doing to what I need to do out of duty! A see-saw that constantly feeds my affirmation above and makes it so REAL in my life! All the meetings that fill my diary daily, all the people that are needy for answers and direction, people that need me to think for them and take on their work! Finding myself loving living in my home and the suburb it is located in BUT my home finds itself in the suburb known for having the worst traffic in the city! Finding that most projects I find myself on are on stretch targets and we just have to always give more and more of our time to make it! My industry that is deadline driven and with all the pieces and cogs that need to be in place to make the machine run, you have the feeling that time is just not enough!

Firstly, I am happy that I can see the above link to the this powerful affirmation I hold and how it has weaved itself into my reality! I am thankful for that awareness. I can now take the next step.

I stumbled across an article the other day where it spoke towards successful people prioritising moments over goals! I loved this as it resonated with my belief that we all find ourselves on the inspiration vs goal scale. Goal orientated action gets us somewhere but inspired action sets us apart and takes us to bliss easier! I touched on this in Inspiration vs Motivation! Which side of the scale do we sit?

So the whole idea is that we search our hours, days, weeks for the moments when we feel strong, energised or blissful and be in those firstly and secondly move our life towards living them more. I have no idea how this all hangs together practically but I can buy that in the little things that we do consistently, makes the bigger difference in our lives. So I am pretty open to giving this a try and seeing the result.

When I look back this week, I can see moments as being:

• My sessions with my trainer. I love how I get to push my body and see it get stronger by the days. I also love the interaction I have with my trainer. It is honest, sincere and enlightening. Great for me to look past a physically beautiful man and engage the person under all that sex appeal, muscles and sex fantasy baggage that I used to put on him! I am seeing the person and that is beautiful.


• Bringing people on the same page. Everyday at work is an opportunity to do this and I love it when I my day is filled with these opportunities and moments. I get to join the dots, paint the picture and make it accessible. Awesome!


• Showering at the local gym! Believe it or not it gives me a sense of freedom and that it is ok to be seen for me! In those moments I give over my trust that those that matter see my beauty.

I see that when I look at life from all the strong moments I have had, I am more grateful and have a higher hit rate of feeling blessed. All we looking for are the moments of feeling bliss, why not prioritise the strong ones and move towards having more of those. I am convinced when you raise your head after doing this for a while, there you will find passion, purpose and the answers to action needed to be happy. Screams the seeds to growing something special indeed!

So give it a shot! Prioritise and live your strong moments! I started with just the next hour and that grew to the next half day to the next day and so on . . . . . . . . It gets a delightful life of its own!

Live strong!

xoxo

The Power of LOVE . . . Keeping it accessible!

My holiday breaks are probably the best times of my life. The whole concept of me being with me and being with those I love in a full way is what makes it so special to me. I became aware of this in my first week back at work! I could feel the person I was the week before slipping from a place of parking all the good, the connection with LOVE / Core Soul and openness to the great in life towards a person obsessed with tasks, deadlines, creative ways to turn something around and seeing to other's needs.

I found myself constantly asking how do I keep the Power of LOVE accessible to me like it was before I got back to work?

The closer I got to the first day back at work, the more I felt that pit of uneasiness grow in my tummy. I figured it was the fact that it was the kind of work, the sh1tty working environment, the horrible people and the immense defense mechanisms I needed to survive the ordeal. But when I really unpacked the truth, it is more that I was uneasy about losing the person I am! That person that knows gratitude, counting his blessings, treating all people from a place of power and not victim hood / an insecure place! That was more the bottom line when I think about it.

I was tired of being a victim of people's opinions, conclusions on me or reactions or a sh1tty situation!

That is truly not empowering as I see the faces of those people flash past my eyes! When I worked through all the noise, that is what it came down to. I do not enjoy the version of me that operates when I am around those people that seem to have power over me. People that bring out the shadow in me. People that hook me into my insecure place. The people that bring out the BITCH in me! That BITCH that gets it all done but at the cost of taking no prisoners and crushing perceived opponents!

What I have been reminded of this week past is the power of staying plugged in and connected! Staying connected and allowing yourself to remember who you really are goes a long way to keeping your truth accessible! The next question would be, where is it manifested and visible in your immediate surroundings? That being your house, your car, you work desk, the close relationships etc etc

I have seen in my life how I have over complicated my truth with noise. Too many vision boards, affirmations floating around, too much seeking of wisdom, too much theoretical concepts that I was playing with, unpacking and putting back together. It was getting overwhelming and noisy!

I decided to simplify.

I am down to 3 key affirmations on my mirror that support two themes where the highest vibration resonates with my soul at this point in my life. And that has been the bottom line. Working with what is available to me now. I am in the process of wiping my vision board clean and taking the intention of putting on there what resonates and letting it grow from there not merely filling it so a complete picture exists that I can baseline and work with!

I realised the power of consistency!

In there I have found that being grateful, engaging in some exercises that help my mind to calm down or operate and get different perspectives, make it my duty to stay aware and release when I need to, finding ways to remember my truth when reality causes me to forget in those moments when all those powerful decisions get made inside!

I do believe that we are NEVER a victim of another person's agenda or view of the world or even a circumstance. The power they / it has over us is all down to what we have allowed. The beauty is that we can change it around simply by remembering our truth, believing our truth and keeping its song strong.

This week I have kept my truth strong with the following reminders :

• See the truth beyond the person / situation - This exactly what my Leadership Law #1 pointed to. I had a run in with one of my module managers. He was so full of it when I wanted to understand why his area was not progressing forward as it should have been. We had a heated disagreement at first. I knew I handled that as a BITCH! So I set up a follow up meeting. All I asked the Universe (2 minutes before that session) was for help. I remember throughout the day whenever thoughts came up of him and the situation, I kept saying I surrender all , I surrender all! The meeting ended up going very well. I got the truth beyond his behaviour, beyond the area's progress and actually now have the way forward for that! But more importantly, I felt empowered and supported during and after that follow up meeting!



• Surrender it all - This is fairly new to me especially in the professional setting. I am testing this theory currently, but it seems to be coming together nicely. I am beginning to see how all is connected and the Universal Intelligence is far beyond my understanding. All I need do is trust it rather than find a way to see the loop holes in it! With this, I have managed to gather support from my leadership, peers and team on how to move some challenges forward. I have been able to shine my light and have it appreciated by people that are around me. I find that solutions and clues are unfolding in a way that are clearer to me than before.



• Remembering that I am a Child of GOD which makes me DIVINE in all aspects - This is a big thing to believe. That as a child of God, you have divinity at your fingertips, you have guidance, you have support, protection and the next step to bliss! I have discovered Luther Vandross's Power of Love song. Merely listening to that song reminds me of that. It is now the most played song on my iPOD. I am dancing and singing my way to BLISS ;-)

Life will happen. There will be events, situations and people that are there by no coincidence! Your decision is to step closer to your core or step further away. Find ways to remember your truth and who you are! When those moments and situations happen, you are in the positon to deal with it utilising all the best that is within you! That could only mean good news for this world!

xoxo

How do we LOVE ourselves?

The "metaphysical" wave has made an impression on many people over the past couple of years. It has become rather accessible via the media. Concepts like the law of attraction, connecting to the other side and channelling have come to be understood by many more "everyday" folk than before. Combine that with all the self help that is out there and we have a ocean of information.

What I find interesting and especially with myself is that certain concepts or part of the story sticks! I love it how it comes in handy later on when you in an experience and that piece of information that stuck is exactly what you need to move forward. I am very grateful to my soul for that ability we as humans have.

A new theme has been swimming around in my head of late. It is quite apparent for us single folk but something tells me that it can also exist even if you have someone as a life partner. It is the whole concept of feeling loved, that you ok, that you enough, that you good enough for the best life has to offer! We all have that desire to feel loved for all that we are. The crap and the great of who we are all in one. All these concepts out there on the getting the life you want, turning your life around for the positive or making positive changes package the bottom line differently but it is all the same in terms of what the core of it is . . . . . . . . . .

You have to LOVE you first and foremost! (No exception!!!!!! Only you!!!!!)

Cultivate and maintain a spirit of Gratitude and reveling in your Blessings!

What I find is that it really is rooted in your daily life where you demonstrate the simple concept of either making the above statements True or Not True! For me, what makes up a typical day for you or where you invest your time, intentions and feelings either strengthens or weakens the above. I feel that one can simply start by asking how you want to be loved? Then one asks how can I love myself the I way I want to be loved.

Inspired by the train of thought, I looked at some of the ways that I love myself. Below are some of the key practices I do:

• I have my moments of gratitude. I am not an everyday count your blessings guy although I try to be one. In this process I can truly take note of what it means to be happy just as I am and how special my life really is. Sometimes I journal it, Blog it or take a moment to just be in that space where I acknowledge and say thank you. Oprah shared in an interview that she tries to write down at least 5 things to be grateful for at the end of her day everyday. I am thinking that is a plan for me . . . .
  
  
• I give my body a challenge to work through any emotional or mental pain that I carry! I learnt this from my spiritual coach and dear friend (Angela). Finding a way to feel that pain and embody it so that it can be expressed. Sometimes it finds its way through violent dancing, aggressive physical activity in the gym (treadmill, stepper etc). Screaming at the top of my voice! These are all ways for me to express my negative emotions. I have found how it allows me to create a space for the positive emotions to flow in . . . . .
  
  
• I have my moments of silence/allowing. I recently read a book by Jerry and Ester Hicks (Ask and It is Given). There was a beautiful chapter on meditation and what it represents. It is a state of allowing. Putting down control, trying to fix, be a role or survive. It was saying loud and clear to the Universe that you allowing it to take control and do the job it does effortlessly. That you allowing it to work on your desires. I found that beautiful and it resonated deeply with me. So I have my moments when I have my long hot baths, drive in traffic for hours to work, do my endurance workouts, listen to my music. All I do is focus on the moment and my breathing. BIG Smile . . . . . .


• My iPod and I are never separated. I am very particular about my playlists that are loaded on my iPod at any point in time. The songs must resonate with where I am. They range from uplifting, to visualisation to angry music (to assist with release work). Sometimes, it is private performance where I am the star performer that dances and performs the song, to using the essence of the song to work through the embodying of my emotions in physical activity or simply in my allowing work. I find this puts me in a very calm and open mindset and I do my best creative work from this space . . . . . . .
  
• Other practices involve, time with my friends. I love just "being" with them. The levels of comfort and sharing is truly awesome. I know love from the time we spend together. Then there is Enjoying deep meaningful conversations, meeting someone new and learning a new perspective, monthly facials, cooking a tasty meal, long hot baths, wearing great smelling perfumes, looking into my eyes in the mirror and acknowledging all the beauty that lies within, choosing not to judge people that I do not understand as that has a direct correlation on how I judge myself which lies a foundation for self hatred, playing with kids under 5 years - they are a delight in how they see the world and themselves - there is wisdom for me to use on how I see myself and the world sometimes, attending freestyle dance class and dancing like no-one is watching (hehehehe), etc etc etc

Again, I will say this over and over. It is not in the deed or how lavish and great it is but more the magnitude of what goes on in your mind and heart of hearts when you doing what you need to do. That is what makes the essence of your life and where it is today. Another bottom line from the ocean of self help and metaphysical world. Once being loved comes from you to you, the world is at your feet . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I can safely say that I have come to a space in my life where I feel blessed generally most of the time, love where my career is going and all the gifts financially, personally and experiences I have been through, adore the people that spend time with me because of who they are, understand that no-one has power over me unless I allow them to and that I can look forward to what is out there.

So, how is loving yourself going?

A Fresh Start is always available . . . . . . .

For as long as I can remember, I have loved newness and novelty. I remember being a little kid unable to sleep the night before the first day of school. I loved the idea of possibilities, grabbing new opportunities and doing my best academically. I love it when it is time to get a new journal. It is fresh and unwritten and the beauty is that I am able to put anything I want on that page that makes life real for me. Even once I have one, the fact that I can turn over a page and start fresh on a blank page is power to me! How awesome is that! I love Monday mornings and the start of a new month. All reminders that the next step is all that counts!

It is especially this time of year that I am bubbling with excitement. A new year, a fresh start and a way to take stock, consolidate and move forward. I love the process. For me, that is the only time my past is useful and the time I feel is worth looking back on. I have been filled with nostalgia lately and been very drawn to the time in my life when my world took a 180 degree turn.

My first day during my first year at university!

I remember how I felt the world was at my feet and that all possibilities were available to me to take and make a reality in my life. It was my desire to feel that again, that I found myself back at the university during my holiday in Cape Town South Africa.

What I believe is that every moment is a moment of power! A fresh start is always available to you when you choose it to be. That gets me very excited. That I have the power to change my day, the next hour and ultimately my experience of anything that finds itself in my space. There is wonder and beauty and it all resides in the eye of the beholder.

I do tend to forget that when weighed down with outcomes from work, living live and making it through any day, week or month. Being weighed down with pain / baggage also makes the concept of changing your reality foreign.

One of the key learnings I have taken away from this year is that all is a function of me! I am the one that must allow, take risks and make the decision. I am the one that either distances myself or brings myself closer to my bliss. I have taken some leaps in understanding the shame and hatred that I carried and have worked towards releasing that. The true trick was to really step into it and experience it and then feeling the freedom.

I have seen how when I change my perspective, how my world around me changes. I have made leaps in my professional space and I see how it is coming together all because I have chosen to be authentic with my dealings with my peers, my leaders, my team and myself. I have made some scary decisions (my perspective) but knowing at my core it is necessary for the next step in my growth.

I understand that on the personal front and life outside my work, that more work is needed. There are layers of pain to step into and experience. So far I take it one step at a time and let the healing take its course. But I live with hope as my intent to give permission / allow is growing by the day in this space.

So as 2009 is in sunset and 2010 is in sunrise know that a Fresh Start is always available to you. Resolutions may come and go, ups and downs will be had, laughter and tears are there as well! But through it all, there is choice to live the next moment better than the one you're currently in. So why not just do it . . . . . . . . . . . . .