Wiseman Nos 3 Re-Visited : 5 Things

The one area that always requires you to stay open and be aware is where we have romantic relationships.  The potential to lose yourself, your inner voice and your boundaries is there.  For those that read my earlier posts, not sure if you remember the profile of Wiseman Nos 3.  Well, for some reason the Universe has reminded me that this type of man still exists in my space.  So Wiseman Nos 3 has now taken on a refined definition for me.  He is that kind of man that you could completely lose yourself to.  And he won't stop you from losing yourself to him.  5 Things to note :

1. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!  This is about knowing who you are and being comfortable in your truth.  Because of this you can stand in who you are and not change that to make someone happy
2. Boundaries!  For me I have not fully figured out boundaries in terms of whether I agree or don't agree with the word.  What I do know is that you need to understand what you are really about versus identifying with a form you think is you.  It is having an effective filter that filters the feedback you get from the world in terms of its alignment to your truth deep inside and whether you will make it your ongoing story to buy into.  It is having the courage to communicate your truth lovingly!  Sometimes this can all go out the window with wiseman nos 3 around
3. No matter what there is hope!  You can find your way back to you.  As long as you stay aware, open and curious!  Even if you go off path, you will get back to you if you have that openness
4. It always stays an opportunity to know yourself better and understand why you need him to validate something within you that you ultimately need to be ok with inside
5. He will definitely break your heart!  Not because he is a bad guy or horrible person.  But because you are not strong enough to be you and stand in your truth.  So you venture to be something else than yourself and he leaves you!  Because no matter what, it is hard work being something you are not and at some point, your resentment does creep in!

So in this quest of "I AM WORTHY" for this month.  Look at where you are asking your partner or a potential man to validate something deep inside you  that you need to get ok with by yourself first.  Take your power back of standing in your truth.  Mwah!

Brutally Honest Conversations - 5 Things!

With any relationship comes a point where a truth comes out.  Life will happen, experiences will come and go, pressure will mount and then that someone just says it like it is.  No holding back, no minding their emotions, no minding how you feel about it or where you are in your head or heart, just the brutal, uncensored, unfiltered what they feel!  This happens between best friends, colleagues, family and more so with a romantic partner!  There are those times when all filters are down and that person speaks their brutal truth!  Some ideas from CrazeeBee :

1. Don't forget your boundaries!  All too quickly we jump to the conclusion that the person is right and we have driven them to react this way with us so we must be bad.  Listening to their point of view is important but it is equally important to weigh up what is being said and if there is something for you to work with and take note of.  It is not about blind acceptance that what they're saying is the truth about you
2. Listen!  We all too quickly want to defend, and be heard on our terms.  Listen and be curious to unpack it
3. If you got  hooked into the drama, when the dust settles, realise that it hit a nerve within you and that there is something for you to look at to understand if it is a healthy or unhealthy view that you carry around
4. No matter what, the people in your life are mirrors and thus will reflect what you need to take note of.    When you intend to remember that law, it does open your mind and heart to understand what truth you need to unfold
5. This is a building block to more closeness and better communication as you both come to an understanding of each other in a deeper sense.  When you come from a point of view of understanding that person better, you place yourself in a position to make loving choices when it comes to the next steps with that particular relationship

Bless Rugby Players : Sean O'Brien

So the world cup did not go as expected for South Africa.  My heart goes out to the Springboks.  Next time boys.  My second favourite team was Ireland.  Something about the Irish charm that I could not resist!  So from that lot of charming lads, Sean O'Brien got my attention.  Enjoy him.  He is not a drop dead gorgeous adonis.  But there is just something very sweet, inviting and homely ;)

Right There

Looks like I am still feeling this sexiness!  So why not just go with it.  Another sizzler of a sexy song by Miss Nicole.  The girl can move and is uber sexy.  Enjoy this hot number.  All I will say is sway those hips as sexy as miss thang.  Amen!

Me like the way you hold my body
Me like the way you touch my body
Me like the way you kiss my . . . . . 

Come here Baby eh be my Baby
Eh be my Baby oh oh oh
Come here baby put your hands on my body

I'm Into You

J.Lo as always is uber urban and hip.  Love this track to bits.  It's sexy and you can just sing it to your man.  Let him know that he has your love and appreciation of him just as he is.  All I can is just be sexy with this song and enjoy it.  Here is a funfilled and sexy week!

You've got me and I could not defend it
I tried but I had to surrender

I'm not the one easy to get to
But all that changed, baby when I met you

5 Things About The Perfect Man & Perfect Relationship

I was at a Dr Demartini talk not too long ago.  There was something big that he shared that got me thinking about life differently.  I love it when those experiences come along when you are  invited to look at life differently.  Anyhoo  . . . . . .

He spoke about this concept that whatever you desire is already in your life, it is just a matter of recognizing the form it is in!  That is huge as it means that you are never lacking anything, it is just in a form that you do not see or understand.  So naturally, I asked myself about where my current perfect man for me has manifested?  To protect privacy, I cannot give too much away but currently, the perfect man for me is split into 3!  An amazing man (someone I truly admire), another sexy man (a sexy friend)  and my MacBook.  Hehehehehe 

Let's say, I now understand why it is difficult for one man to step into my boyfriend role!

Here are 5 things to honor my current manifestation of MY MAN!

1. I get to have the most amazing conversations and get to just be me and share in the most amazing ways. They are not afraid to just be themselves and vulnerable with me and know that I still see them as strong and amazing
2. I get to laugh and can go on a great journey with them.  Everytime I get to spend with them is an adventure
3. It sexiness at its best.  They are settled in themselves and have such a great vision of their world.  They know how to have fun and just live a good life and be in their skin.  It is inspiring
4. I still get to maintain my independence and be myself.  I don't feel like I lose myself and I get to be the crazee that I am known for around them and they are so ok with that ;)
5. There are tough times and there are disagreements and judgement calls on what I could work on to be better but somehow I manage get over my fears and insecurities and work it with them and continue my strong connection with them

Landslide

This song is simply beautiful.  Change in you and change in those you love and hate are inevitable.  All you can do is either resist it or allow it.  The beauty is to realise that you are equipped to deal with it and maybe, youcan give yourself permission to be brave and have the courage to allow what it brings.  Enjoy the lyrics.  They are simply beautiful!


I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Where the Landslide brought me down


Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life


Uh ah . . . .  uh ah . . . . .  uh ah  . . . . . . 


Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my whole life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too


Instrumental

Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my whole life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

I'm getting older too

Well, I'm getting older too


So, take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb that mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snowed covered hills
Well the Landslide brought me down


If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills


Well maybe . . . . . . 
Well maybe . . . . . . 
Well maybe . . . . . . 


The landslide brought me down

CrazeeBee Love : Bless The Rugby Player : Pierre Spies

In honor of the Rugby World Cup, Pierre Spies gets CrazeeBee love.  I believe that there should be a new rule passed for rugby where they play the game as Pierre's attire below.  He does it so effortlessly! Enjoy Mr Pierre.  Local grown South African Talent!  Oh, and CrazeeBee sends the Amabokke love and good luck for the World Cup.  Bring the trophy home lads.  Let's make it number 3!

Having Only The Great Parts Of A Relationship

Relationships are interesting in what they can do for the individual.  As I have said before, they are very powerful mirrors that reflect so much back to us to work with.  But there are some of us out there that really want it in such a way that we get what we perceive is the best of a relationship and thus ask the individual to only share parts of who they are so it ticks the parts of the relationship that we like.

Hence the terms "friends with benefits" or "#@$! Buddy" come along where it is just the physical and  the togetherness that it allows.  You also get the guy that gets married and has kids and yes ladies, he has some boy as a side of deliciousness that needs to understand his closet situation and play the sex toy on the side without any real chance of something deeper with that married man.  So there are some of us that do perceive that relationships have a great part and we only need to experience the good parts and get out or not be present when the perceived "bad" parts are around.

In this episode Miranda bumps into Skipper with his new girlfriend.  She goes straight into player hater mode and judges the women.  She then opens the door to Skipper which he happily enters and they sleep together for old time sake.  Skipper is all elated and finally believes that Miranda truly wants him back.  Miranda just wants the comfortable sex and is not ready for a full blown relationship.  And she states that. She ends up losing Skipper as he finally draws the line and has enough of her closed nature and her only wanting sex from him.  Miranda misjudged the intensity of Skipper's feelings.



For CrazeeBee, it comes down to what you can handle and how you become aware of what you deserve and how the reality matches what you really desire?  If you feel that you ok with someone that cannot fully give of themselves and be there with you through the good and the bad, then you will have people in your life that cannot fully be there because of their issues or another relationship.  I feel it is just difficult to interact with another human being and box what they must do or be to make you happy for a sustained long period.  Controlling someone can never be achieved long term and ends up never going the way either party intended.

When someone is asking for very specific parts of a relationship, it usually speaks to the parts of them they want to keep closed and them not being open to share and connect that to the bigger flow of life.  They are not in the space to embrace it being open to change for the better.  They are not ready to deal with potential contrast that asks them to question if it does meet their best life or highest good.  They prefer the safety of that current story.

So if you find yourself wanting to control someone to make you happy or looking at asking for a person to give very specific things that make up part of a full relationship, maybe there is an opportunity to look at what parts of you you have a wall around or a place that you want to keep closed and not shine some light on.  I can bet you when you explore and unpack that part of you, you will find some space in that heart of yours to allow someone to be more to you than just a very specific aspect of a relationship.

Mwah!

Boy You Knock Me Out

This song is so classic RnB!  I am so in love with this kind of soulful music.  This is still in the spirit of simply being open and surrendering to the moment of liking a boy for all that he is and experiencing him.  It is put your hands in the air kind of song and feel the love.  Go on surrender to feeling the goodness of an awesome man.  Yay!

"Call my name.  Let this fantasy be real"

"Imagine all the things we can do"

Fast Food Sex

Some say never sleep with him on the first date and some say make him stew and anticipate when the time is special.  Today, sex for some has become like fast food.  It can be enjoyed minutes after you say yes to it and you don't need the long lead time like before to indulge in it like before.

This is the episode where Carrie and Big had their first date and she went straight to home run with him.  Miss Hobbes was at the gym taking her frustration out on a boxing bag, kicked a cute guy in the head and scored someone that was interested in her.  She was in denial that someone could like her, but went with it and spent the night a couple of dates into knowing him.  She discovers a freakish fantasy side about him and after grappling with it, she opens up to accepting it and the man scares off and leaves her!

What was interesting is that within a week, Miranda found a freakish secret about her man.  She had gone from meeting him to dating him to full on sexual relationship to first secret to deal with her man.  And when she jumped into it, he got scared.  Could it simply be that the relationship was not ready to deal with that level of truth?

What stood out for me was how eager Miranda was to plunge into anything within the new relationship and get all those checkboxes ticked.  And the big question is always when does sex come into the relationship?  There are those that say ASAP and the others that say let's wait for it to be special.

We live in an impatient world of late.  Results must be fast or close to instantaneous!  And for some reason the whole sex thing is part of that getting results fast theme.  It probably comes down to where you are when it comes to your belief of what sex means!  Because at the end of the day, that will drive how you respond to the man in your life when you take the plunge with the guy.  For some it means you must be closer because you have shared something "special", for some it could be just fun and games and tallying up a conquest list and for some it means some form of commitment from the other person.  But that is your view and not necessarily his view.

Whatever you believe, the trick is to understand it.  Because I do find that when sex comes into the picture, something unravels or comes to light.  If you understand that, you can understand how you responding and bring yourself to a point of choice.  To continue responding like that and moving from guy to guy responding as status quo.  Or you could choose to change your response by believing a different story.

So there is nothing wrong with Fast Food Sex! It is the story you carry and the response it invokes within you that needs light to see what choices you have available.  And why not choose a story that brings you joy!

Forever & A Day

There is something special when Kelly Rowland teams up with David Guetta.  Their creativity gives you all feel good songs that you can dance to.  This week's song is all about enjoying the moments with a good man.  I have come to understand a concept of changing your point of energy when you think of any subject.  So this is for celebrating those men that are not perfect, but perfect for you.  Can you imagine what that would feel like to have a man that is perfect for you and is able to give you what you need without it being hard work for him.  He likes/loves you just the way you are.

If he is in your life give him a big hug of gratitude.  If he ain't in your life, consider soaking in what it feels like and dance to the beauty of this song.  Before you know it, he is in your life.  Delicious!

"Now that you lit the flame, don't let it die, let it burn" 

Cougar Town

There will come a time in a 30 something's life when it hits them.  You realise like the others in your life that you have not settled down as yet.  You are single, empowered and independent.  That is is rather powerful foundation to live life the way you want without answering to anyone.  You really have freedom of choice to do what the hell you really want.

This is the episode where the girls (Charlotte, Carrie and Miranda) are dating / doing 20-something guys.  I guess for me, your 30's take on a new kind of view.  You are not as carefree as when you are in your 20's but it does feel like you have way more wisdom, experience and money.  And somehow because you have that, you are more in control of you and your independence and for the first time, you have an upper hand on a 20-something man still finding his way.  For most who have capitalised on their career, your 30's is about having a sense of power.  Like your 20's just with better lenses to see the world and more means at your disposal to get what you want.  And this is a delicious experience when you in the company of 20 something men.  As Miranda puts it: It is all about sex.  Willing, eager to please you, boy scout sex!


For me it does not really matter the age of a man as long as there is FAIR EXCHANGE in the relationship with whoever you sharing your life, bed or yourself with!  It is all about what you giving naturally and effortlessly being valued and loved by that man.  And it is about that man giving you naturally and effortlessly what is of value and loved by yourself.  If a younger man and his eagerness to please you and be in awe of you help you heal and get more in touch to what is great about you, what is wrong with that?  If your wisdom and nurturing help him be a better man as a result, what is wrong with that.  And if sex be the currency that brings that about, who are we to judge?  Who says that it stays the currency in the longer term!


As long as you both are benefitting, what is the big deal?  And let's not make our labels of sex be the defining foundation that young men are just there for sex and nothing else.  I believe it also has to do with energy and having a platform to heal and deal with your level of understanding of life and you at whatever stage you find yourself in.  We all know how it can get when feelings and hormones get in the way and we lose the clarity of ourselves when dealing with a man.  Maybe it also is ok to date someone younger to help keep your power while learning to balance that with loving a man and not letting it distract you from the truth of who you are.  That you can be you and love someone at the same time.

So take the opportunity to believe that relationships with men can heal you and bring you closer to knowing and understanding yourself deeper and the stories you tell yourself about love, sex and you as part of a partnership.

Be open to heal as part of relationships!

Give Skipper A Chance

So this is an interesting one.  There are those super beautiful people out there.  And yes they are what fantasies are made of.  And everytime some of us see them, we instantly go into compare mode and feel like we won't cut it in the dating scene or the relationship scene because we just do have the H.O.T factor.

This is the time when Miranda blows Skipper off because he does not fit her definition of a man she would want to date.  I guess the sweetness simply was too much for her.  Is a great character really that sexy?  Is sweetness all that it is made up to be when one has hormones raging?  Can sweet guys with great characters really be the kind of man that equates to prince charming that we all long for?  That well built camel man that is so gladiator alpha and what  fantasy fairytales are made of!

At the end of the day, beauty is not a life long thing and when you look back at any special moment in your life or special time in your life, it had nothing to do with how good someone looked.  It had to do with the connection and how they made you feel.

That is probably what made Miranda give Skipper a chance in that supermarket.  She could see the realness in his intention and she liked that someone could see her and still wanted a piece of her.  So this is just an invite to single folk out there.  Be willing to open to connection and experiencing yourself and someone else on more than just one level.

At the end of the day, it is about having experiences that make you clearer on you and your next step.  So why not try it in your relationships or adventures with men.  Be willing to see more to a man than just how good he looks and maybe you won't feel so bad when you see a perfect specimen that you think men compare you to.  If you willing to expand your view, be sure that there are people out there that are willing to expand their view on beauty.

Give the Skippers in your life a chance.

Wiseman Nos 8 Is That Friend Packing Undiscovered Sexiness . . .

So Wiseman Nos 8 has always been about the sexiness in someone's character and the way he sees the world.  He has such a sexy view of the world and boy can he take you on a journey that engages your mind, heart and soul.  If you remember the recent hunk appreciation posts, the roles that Cam and Alex played in their respective movies was exactly the kind of scenarios you would find a Wiseman Nos 8 in his element slowly but surely making you melt.

Let's celebrate that geek, nerd or shy guy that has that sexiness hidden or not so obvious.  It is that sexiness that is layered that you peel away as you get to know him on a deeper level and explore that sexy mind and delicious centre of him.  It is embracing the concept of opening yourself up to discover a man for more than just his physical appearance and the obvious sexy stuff that Wiseman Nos 7 would bring.

Let's savour the sexiness that creeps up on you when you discover and experience the beauty and wonder of Wiseman Nos 8. It is that kind of sexiness that once it all unfolds, he has that appeal and hotness that hits you instantly and all of a sudden, he is MAN! Not that friend, not that pal, not that geek, he is a MAN!  Yum Yum!

Embrace the possibility of getting to know a man that is willing to share is mind, soul and heart.  There definitely is a journey to take with him and in some cases the passion and heat do suddenly become apparent when you open to seeing things differently.

The Grass Being Greener On The Other Side . . . . .

I was asked this question the other day.  Is the grass really greener on the other side when it comes to relationships?  I surprised myself when I took a moment to think about it and share my view or idea on the concept.

Does it matter what colour the grass is on the other side when it comes to comparing what you have in a relationship and looking at what is out there?  We are attracted to a partner because there is something great they give us.  Whether it is good for us or not is another point.  The point is that we gain some value from having that partner integrate their life with us.

It's when we ask ourselves am I able to give that greatness to myself that an interesting answer unfolds.  Some of us look for life discipline which we admire in our partner and hope that it rubs off.  Some of us want to constantly feel sexy and valued and adoration and hero syndrome from our partner gives us that.  Some us want someone we can just be ourselves with and have that be ok and get that from our partner.  And the list goes on.  The simple question if you replace "partner" with yourself, are you in a position to give that greatness to yourself?

When you get to a point where the question is yes, the colour of the grass on the other side does not matter at all.  It comes down to a knowing!  A knowing that you are enough, that you have the talent and ability and love to give yourself all the greatness you can desire.  So bring on the other side because baby you are ready in any case.

Some thoughts the question triggered.

Some More Lessons From The Dating Scene . . . .

I am still going strong on the dating scene.  It really is a fascinating process.  Sometimes I walk away on a high, sometimes I walk away with that OMG this feels really crap.  But all part of the learning process.  Here are some more lessons from the dating scene in no particular order :

1. We all have a delicious core and when we allow our defenses to come down it is magic when it connects with another core.  The harmony that transpires is unbelievable
2. With an amazing connection, one must look at not defining it immediately and pull out the associated project plan that goes with an amazing connection!  It's pressure your date does not need!
3. Easy going, sharing my life with you and you are off the hook for making me happy are UBER sexy traits to have and show on a date.  The trick is that you must really believe it to make your date believe it
4. Be careful of what is your baggage versus your date's.  Own yours and let them own theirs.  And work on releasing the guilt when they make their pain your work to solve!
5. Start of winter dates are awesome.  The scarfs and fashion you can pull off is UBER sexy!  Yum!
6. There is a natural pace to relationships.  Be brave to embrace the natural pace of what unfolds with your date.  Natural pace is the middle ground between your pace and his pace
7. Sexual Chemistry is one tricky bastard!  If anyone has wisdom on it and it's mysterious workings, please SHARE!
8. Nothing beats a great hair day on a date.  Amen.
9. A vibey place definitely does the trick for venue setting.  You connect to a playful energy that is needed when you getting to know someone
10. Stay honest!  With yourself and your date.  Games and analysis paralysis are for those who love being single!

Have a fab one darlins.

Love

CB

It's Coming Over Me Like It's Coming Over You

There is something so inviting about this song.  Have you ever just sat and watched waves in action.  They build up and crash and sweep away.  If you in the middle of all that and just let go and let the waves take over you, what a ride that would be.  This is what this song can make one feel.

For me, it speaks to a feeling of giving in and riding the wave.  Being in this space of allowing someone to flow into me and me into them.  This song appeals so much to me where you simply go with the flow of getting to know a person, make that first call or even just say hello to that person you have liked for sooo long but never had the courage to say a word to.

Celebrate the giving into inspired action!  When the stars align and all that is needed is that you action in an effortless and energizing way.  I recently had one of those moments where everything simply aligned and all I had to do was go on instinct and every word, action I did was harmonious.  Yum!

This song celebrates that sentiment for me.  Enjoy!

There Is A Space For You

There is a space deep in my heart

All welcoming with no expectation

All warm and safe

It is this space where freedom is known and felt

Where you can flow into me

Where I can flow into you

Where we can go on adventure

To deepen understanding and wisdom

To feel deeply, to express honestly and safely

To Be As We Are

In this now

I feel it

I embrace it

I live it

This Vacuum of Space

That Vibrates with Love

It's for you

Welcome

                                                                            - by Crazeebee Livin

Some Things I Took Away From My Last Date

I am back on the dating scene.  I will admit, I need to get back into the swing of it.  But had an interesting one not so long ago and this is what I took away from the experience in no particular order :

1. Do not decide that a new hair mousse will do the great hair trick versus the tried and tested one you usually use!
2. Maybe going easy on the indulgence of chocolate in the get ready routine is a good idea?
3. The self conscious thing can get in the way and block you from being free to let go and be in the moment with that person
4. It helps to follow your gut / heart on the next step 
5. It helps even more when you simply ask him about the next step.  It takes a courage to handle the answer  no matter what it is
6. Wearing an awesome fragrance is always a great idea
7. Have the courage to be honest with your point of views and how you see the world
8. Be open to understand another point of view
9. Go easy on yourself! You are doing better than you think!
10. Leave analysis paralysis to those who want to stay single.  Simply go with the flow and enjoy what is in front of you ;)