5 Things From Funerals / Memorial Services

I recently had to say goodbye to a great man that played a part in one of the most significant milestones in my my life.  I never imagined that the day would come where I would have to attend a funeral of someone my age at this time in my life.  But death is as much a part of life on earth as anything else.  So as I was sitting in the church, the following was very clear to me:

1. I love how amongst all religions or spiritual practices that there is one of the themes that stay constant.  That you have access to a great power and that this great power is there whenever you need it.  We may not fully understand it but it is there helping us live our best life
2. If ever you ask how to be of value to those grieving.  It is simply saying, I am here for you.  That's all.  Nothing profound is needed, nothing to soothe pain, it is simply you being willing to be there for that person
3. There is laughter and joy at funerals.  It is a time to remember and cherish what was great about that person and how they touched the lives that are there to pay respect
4. Going back to your hometown after a long time is a way to make you see how you have evolved.  You realise when you open, that you can change for the better
5. You have the opportunity to take stock and really question if you are doing what you need to do to live and fulfil your best life. You appreciate how short life is and that it should not be wasted on things that do not bring you joy

5 Things About The Perfect Man & Perfect Relationship

I was at a Dr Demartini talk not too long ago.  There was something big that he shared that got me thinking about life differently.  I love it when those experiences come along when you are  invited to look at life differently.  Anyhoo  . . . . . .

He spoke about this concept that whatever you desire is already in your life, it is just a matter of recognizing the form it is in!  That is huge as it means that you are never lacking anything, it is just in a form that you do not see or understand.  So naturally, I asked myself about where my current perfect man for me has manifested?  To protect privacy, I cannot give too much away but currently, the perfect man for me is split into 3!  An amazing man (someone I truly admire), another sexy man (a sexy friend)  and my MacBook.  Hehehehehe 

Let's say, I now understand why it is difficult for one man to step into my boyfriend role!

Here are 5 things to honor my current manifestation of MY MAN!

1. I get to have the most amazing conversations and get to just be me and share in the most amazing ways. They are not afraid to just be themselves and vulnerable with me and know that I still see them as strong and amazing
2. I get to laugh and can go on a great journey with them.  Everytime I get to spend with them is an adventure
3. It sexiness at its best.  They are settled in themselves and have such a great vision of their world.  They know how to have fun and just live a good life and be in their skin.  It is inspiring
4. I still get to maintain my independence and be myself.  I don't feel like I lose myself and I get to be the crazee that I am known for around them and they are so ok with that ;)
5. There are tough times and there are disagreements and judgement calls on what I could work on to be better but somehow I manage get over my fears and insecurities and work it with them and continue my strong connection with them

5 Things From My John Edward Experience

John Edward was in South Africa and I decided to go to one of his shows.  I will admit that I am still figuring out whether using a medium can add value to my life or not.  I am all for higher wisdom and I am curious to what happens when you leave this earth.  I do know that I need to unpack and understand this practice a bit more when the time is right for me.  So here are some key highlights from my experience:

1. John is a cutie!  There is something hot about him.  Very witty and sarcastic.  Had me in stitches for most of the evening.  I made him out to be this serious dude but he really has a wise lightness about him
2. The major theme was about reconnecting people with those that had crossed over.  I will admit that it did irritate me as I could not understand why it was all about a reunion.  What happened to asking questions to how it was on the other side and what it all meant rather than hearing that there was love?  It did get me a little worked up
3. I liked John's definition of Heaven.  How it is very similar to the internet and any social networking tool.  You have the ability to connect to it and so do your loved ones have the ability to connect to you.  It's about raising your awareness.  Heaven is all around you
4. I do feel for more quality, one probably has to go a bit more private with this kind of thing.  I was freakin out at what personal stuff was coming up for some people.  Was not sure if I could deal with that kind of uncontrolled exposure in such a wide group of people
5. My biggest take away from this experience is that your loved ones that have crossed over are around you and speak to you.  It is how you connect and become aware of it.  John put it beautifully that he gets in the way as a medium of something (a connection / a line) that is already there between you and your loved ones.  All he does is provide another voice to what is already there

5 Things To Note About Being "Busy"

Life is busy for most of us.  There is just so much that we "have" to do to get life lived!  There is a fine line between being busy to get results and being busy for the sake of being busy.  Check yourself for the following :

1. Do you truly understand you highest values and how they are being met with what you busy with? Do you believe that you can actually re-look and shift your priorities/values?  Understand where you time, energy and love is going and there you will see your highest current values.  Click on this link to help you unpack it! 
2. When you clear on your life mission statement or vision, you can understand if your all that busy is focused on the right stuff! Consider reconnecting with your life vision
3. You need to look at regular times where you connect to quietness, peace and calm.  It is within that space that inspiration flows and connects you to your genius.  Try out one moment meditation!
4. Consider times in your day to practice the art of focus.  Being present in your genius and inspiration means that you are focused on the task at hand and not multitasking!
5. Being busy is ok and there is nothing wrong with it as long as it is on stuff that is right for the best life you want and you getting the results

5 Things To Note About Learning Something New

Jamie Hall - University Of Cape Town, South Africa
CrazeeBee's favourite University spot

I love the sentiment of not being busy for busy sake.  I love that it is about getting results.  But in order to get results, one needs to keep your knowledge relevant which then keeps your awareness relevant which makes your choices relevant.  So it starts with learning!

1. TV is a time thief!  I know for sure.  Try and get some learning time in over TV
2. You are able to teach yourself and do not always need a class for that
3. Learning can be as simple as reading and internalising
4. You know who is successful around you in work and life!  Why not unpack what they know and their source of info
5. The goal to add value simply by being you and the thinking you bring.  That correlates to how you develop/evolve your point of view

Go Strong and Wise Darlins.  Mwah

Inspired by Robin Sharma's book "The Greatness Guide"

The Thing About Belly Fat

Ok, so this grossed me out but got me thinking!  So apologies if I gross you out but this is a message that I believe we need to get as a citizens of this fast, high consumption of what is in sight world.  So I discovered this clip by Dr Oz on belly fat and it freaked me out!  I now get why that belly fat is soooooo stubborn!  And I did not even know that there were different types of fat to start of with.

What I will say is that I love Dr Oz's philosophy on not forcing the issue of eating healthy but nudging and allowing it to fall in place.  It is really choice by choice to a healthy lifestyle.  Note the waist size indicator and from the belly button.  That surprised me as I did notice my belly button getting a bit further from the rest of my body and need to look at correcting that.

For those of us who have food as a drug of choice, all that is encouraged is that we assess the choice of what goes in our mouth and the volume.  It is as simple as taking few seconds before you indulge to breathe and ask yourself to feel what you trying to sedate?   One of the things I have taken away from the clip is the snacking fist size meals during the day.  Just think of the variety and fun you can have with that concept.  I also recommend the book Women, Food and God by Geenen Roth.  I got some profound lessons and practices from her wisdom.  Here is also a link to the various articles and interviews on the book.

The Dr Oz Clip  Hopefully it triggers clarity for yourself or the start of the first step. . . . . .  .xoxo


Some major lessons I have taken away from reading this book include :

• Stop and breathe before the need to indulge.  Feel the feeling and then make your choice
• When you eat with awareness and engage in it, you will notice how great it tastes but you will also notice that point when you get full and need to stop.  Most of us are overeaters and we don't even know it!  I have a need to always watch TV when I eat.  That distracts me from knowing when I am full and I  in most cases overeat when I am watching TV while I eat.
• Practice the art of Inquiry.  Where you give your body a space to speak to you and all you do is unpack and unfold.  You come from an angle of curiosity versus judgement and knowing it all.  When you curious, you are open to an answer that is wrapped in truth

5 Life Investments Just Because You Can . . . .

So I have been really stuck when it comes to the insights from life.  I guess I am still processing the recent shifts that have happened in my life.  Some part of me wishes it would just settle.  But a process is a process and CB just has to be patient.  So below are the investments I feel are the greatest to have in your life just because you can!

1. A Course In Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson - This is truly a treasure of a book.  I am deepening understanding and loving the journey the lessons so far are taking me on!
2. Friends & Experiencing them for them - This can one the most profound experiences you can undertake where you allow yourself to step out of your own way and embrace the world through their experience.  You give them a space to be who they are and take the healing, lesson or insight that comes from the contrast of you against who they are.  It's something special!
3. Letting Yourself and Others Off The Hook - OMG! You will wonder at the talent and skill you are capable of when you just trust that you will do what is right and for your highest good.  You also realise that no-one is perfect and they are doing the best they can for their lives.  When you let someone off the hook for being that perfect answer to all your challenges, you open space for them to be free to be themselves and for you to step into the driver seat for your bliss
4. A New Craft/Hobby - Taking up a new craft or hobby gives a perspective to what you know and allows a new idea or angle to enter your life.  Giving specifics is not what this point is about.  The principle I find is that when to take on the challenge of learning something new, whether it be a sport or cooking or something creative, you access what you know and find new combinations of what is there already.  You also click a few puzzle pieces into place and the picture looks a whole lot different when that happens.  It's simply awesome!
5. Giving Up Control - As scary as this seems, you can never truly control any situation where free-will is involved.  I cease to wonder how we as humans never get this (me included)!  It takes a faith and trust in something bigger to know that giving up control is for the better of you and those around you.  The art of allowing is truly a gift worth giving yourself!

The Royal Wedding

Some thoughts from my side on The Royal Wedding.

1. William is really cute!  When I saw him chatting away when he got to the church and just how relaxed and full of fun he was, I was like what a prince to marry.  I am still not over him getting bald but he is cute!
2. I was teary eyed throughout most of the live viewing.  I had to PVR it, so only got to watch all of it the next day.  It was truly a fairytale happening for real!  It does not get more romantic and special than that
3. Kate looked elegant and modest.  I will admit that I was expecting a little wow factor somewhere on her dress. But it was all about her and as long as she was happy, that really is all that matters
4. I am constantly amazed at how the power of the British monarchy exists in today's world.  It is a true wonder
5. I wonder how it feels to have that much spotlight and attention?  I get a sense of being overwhelmed but OMG that is a huge amount of attention!  They handled it like pros
6. All the best to William and Kate.  They look like a truly blessed and happy couple.  Love and happiness be theirs

Take a look at William after the second kiss.  He is too adorable!  Yum!

Enjoy what Being Brazen (one of my favourite blogs) had to say, I did! xoxo

Being Brazen: Kate's wedding style: "Kate Middleton, who will now also be known officially as 'The Duchess of Cambridge', wore a gown designed by Sarah Burton of Alexander McQue..."

Bless Rugby Players : Stefan Terblanche

Got a chance to watch the Sharks and the Crusaders fight it out on the field the other day.  And Stefan just stood out for me.  He is Yum Yum.  Just loved the way he worked the field.  Big and Strong! Go Stefan!

Blog Crush : LifeLube: VIDEO: Poet Yolo Akili Asks, "Are You the Kind of...

I have my "sister" issues I need to work through.  The post below both inspired and scared me!  It is  simple question yet a powerful one.

Would You Date Yourself?

The answer you give speaks volumes of what you putting out there!


LifeLube: VIDEO: Poet Yolo Akili Asks, "Are You the Kind of...: "Would you date yourself? Are you masculine enough? Do you find yourself worthy? An object of your own lust? Thanks ..."

Bless Rugby Players - Jaco Pretorius

I was at the Vodacom Bulls versus the DHL Stormers the other day.  Firstly, sooooo awesome watching rugby live.  It takes me back to my younger days when my dad was a big time rugby player and we would go support his team.  So I could not take my eye off the Blue Bulls player number 13 during the game.  I give you the yummy Blue Bulls player Jaco Pretorius!

There Is Something About Katie Cassidy

I am loving Katie Cassidy of late.  I cannot put my finger on it but I know it has something to do with the fresh, intelligent, think on your feet style she brings to her characters.  I am simply loving it.  Diva Deluxe!

Love in Supernatural Season 3 how she is a Demon that goes against the norm.  Her dark side portrayed by the character is rather sexy I must say!  And she kicks ass well!











Gossip Girl Season 4 sees her as a girl with a plan and a mission to bring down some of the others.  Still quick on her feet to think of ways to deceive.
















My all time favorite was her in Melrose Place.  She is talented, driven, creative and simply honest on all counts.  Never apologizing for who she is and knowing how to play the game of life.  Also always seeming to land on her feet  no matter what.  I loved how she had a soft spot for the people she loved!

Playing The Song Of Trust On Broken Strings!

Trust is a tricky emotion.  I can guess that it is the case because with trust comes security or an degree of safety.  And most of us love feeling safe in something as we go about life.  And in most cases, people give each other one shot at trusting each other 200%!  Once that is broken, it seems that it could never come back to being 200%.  Beyonce and Lady Gaga said it best in the Telephone video.

Trust is like a mirror.  You can mend a broken mirror but you can still see the cracks in the reflection!

It probably is up to the individual how they choose to deal with this.  I believe that trust is more about you not trusting yourself!  Think about this!  When someone breaks your trust and hurts you and takes the safety away that they have your best interests at heart, when you really look back, you know there were moments when that voice spoke to you to do something, ask something or get the truth on something!  But you ignored that and gave that person the benefit of the doubt!

And then it happens . . . . . . . . . . they break your trust!

So for me, the song of trust on broken strings, or the mended mirror is all about trusting in yourself and your response.  If it is that boyfriend that has come back for try number 2, if it is that friend that has promised to treat you differently after hurting you or if it is your family that promises they will do things differently, the point is that you know deep down what must happen and what you must do.

So it is about trusting in your response, your decisions and what you feeling.  And then it is the courage to make the choice that takes you forward.  So check and look around at those that have broken your trust.  Do you trust that you are in a place of making the best choice for you even if an option is to have them not part of your life?  Do you trust that you can make the choice that best serves your happiness?

That is the bottom line of broken trust for me if those people come back into your life.  It is about trusting in your response with what you know!

Love
CB


Take The Trust Test and see where you stand.  Some other views on trust from some of my favorite bloggers.  My LifeScape speaks about lessons in Love.   A Bucket List on Being Brazen speaks about being a trapeze artist.  Now that is trust!

Gay Heading For Normal?

I could be kidding myself but recently I got the feeling that "Gayness" is heading for the category of normal.  You know, "oh so those two are together and happy and they're 2 men", a second pause!  "Pass the sugar please" and so you munch away your breakfast!  Amen if that is the case but also now enter the realness of being a person versus being a label!

That could be one of the toughest things for gay people to work through.  They come out the closet and for a while it is about understanding how something different, forbidden and even frowned upon gets a place in the sun with love.  So it is no surprise that for a while it is extreme in how they live, project who they are and basically live up to the label of Gay and what generally comes with that label.  Well, let's be a bit more precise, for some and not all do the above!

You know the stereotypes!  The fashion, the sharp eye, tongue and wit, the wild partying and sluttiness!  But that is expected.  To find your balance, you must go in the extreme and be there and fully experience it.  The interesting part comes, when the novelty goes away and they are just the person.  What now does it come down to?

It is not about being recognised for loving another a man, it is not about who you chose to sleep with, it is not about standing out in a crowd as that is simply a given that it is accepted.  Then for the gay folk, what does it come to?

The same as it does for all the rest of humans.  It is about happiness, your joy and love.  Once the label stuff goes away, it comes down to simply being happy with the small moments and the big moments which is the same for anyone regardless of sexual orientation.

I am excited to see either the start of a shift or a shift already in momentum.  The Golden Globes was testament of that to me with Chris Colfer winning best supporting actor.  When being gay is now being represented at the teen level, that is telling me there is a sense of permission for them to be who they are.  It's a start but a huge step versus when I was teen struggling with a "bad" situation as I labelled it at the time!

Modern Family looks into a Gay family and is quite the popular series earning some Golden Globe nods.  So great to start seeing the realness coming through.  Interesting stuff indeed.

2010 : TV Moments That ROCKED!

I am so in the mood for looking back on the year of 2010 so please bear with my indulgence.  Below are the TV moments that spoke to me in a big way!

5 - Kurt / Glee / Single Ladies Need I say more! Amen!



Then it spreads to the butch boys.  Amen



4 - The Ugly Truth This was refreshing and some truth to it.  There is something to be said to playing the game a little!




3 - Grey's Anatomy Finale  This was so unsuspecting.  For me it was seeing how people can have what they know be taken away and be destroyed!  It was a episode that freaked so many people out!




2 - Robert sees Kitty bald!  Cry Cry Cry!  For a man to see beauty no matter what!  More cry cry cry!




1 - Justin & Austin at the Wedding!  Awwwwwwwww  The young boy still dreams of that boy that will dance with me!

2010 : The ROCKlist!

2010 was also a great year for music!  Lady Gaga eventually grew on me, Beyonce continued to rock it, Katy pleasantly surprised me with her deepness and I was soooo excited for the star that was Adam Lambert!

10 - Adam Lambert - I really love Adam's style.  He just is who he is and being gay is so a matter of course.  Love that and love his music!

9 - Usher - This man just knows how to smooth it out with his soulful style.  Love "DJ  Got Us Fallin In Love"

8 - Kesha - Loved how she did querky sexy!

7 - Drake - He is a sexy dark soul.  Loved "Find Your Love".  Drake knows how to rock!

6 - Kylie Minogue - Loved "Get Outta My Way"  True Kylie sizzle!

5 - Lady Gaga & Beyonce
I resisted this women for sooo long as it felt like I would be a cliche by loving her.  But once I understood her intention behind the song Telephone, I gained respect for the deepness that she has.  She is an acquired taste in terms of what she is, but for now, I can appreciate where she came from when creating the song Telephone!  Beyonce is fierce as always!



4 - Katy Perry
Katy Perry really surprised me with her latest album.  I was never a fan in the beginning but Teenage Dream was so real that I have now become a fan of Mrs Brand!



3 - Jay Z & Alicia Keys
This is one of those timeless classics.  I loved the feeling of I can take on the world when I listen to this song.  Loved it Loved it Loved it!




2 - Shakira
Whenever I hear the Waka Waka, I fill up with pride, tears and moments of the best time I have had in South Africa in a long time.  What an experience to have had the World Cup overhaul the beauty of my country.




1 - Rihanna
This women knows how to rock it.  From Te-Amo to Rude Boy to What's My Name.  Love Love Love her edgy dark style!

2010 : The Hunks In My Life!

As busy as 2010 was for me, there was still time to spend with the hot men in my life.  They have been a true yummy experience!  I am surprised that  no soccer boys made my list in light of the 2010 World Cup!  Personally, I am a rugby boy at heart!  Something about a rugby player.  Grrrrrrrrr.  Anyhoo, these have primarily been boys in TV series that have managed to catch and maintain my fascination with them.  Enjoy!

Ten
Of all the HOT boys on Vampire Diaries, Jeremy really stood out to me.  That silent, contemplative soul appealed to me along with just all that bulk he was hiding under those jackets. No denying the boy is soooooo kissable!
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)













Nine
Daniel went through a great transformation in Ugly Betty.  I was liking the crush he was developing on Betty. heheeheheh  I was routing for the ugly duckling to get the hunk!  Just loved how he opened up his mind over the series.
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Eight
All Access kept my attention purely because of Jason.  Funny all the time.  I simply loved watching him just be his querky funny self.
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)
























Seven
Connor in Ugly Betty was a winner.  He was just naughty and sexy. He was all about I have to have him just because!  Basically a thrill and nothing more!
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Six
I know he was a bum in Cougar Town but what an adorable character!  Just lovable and dilusional!  He just kept me in stitches the whole time.  Adorable Adorable Adorable!
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)

Five
Something about Cooper's boyish nature and the chest hair (Blush).  But again, another querky delight!
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)

Four
Loved Grayson in Cougar Town.  Just the man you would love to date.
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)

Three
Maybe it had something to do with him being a wolf in True Blood.  That wild side, that animal in him.  I simply loved the primal side to him.  hehehehe
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Two
Janez from Top Billing has always found a soft spot in my heart.  Love him to bits as he seeks adventure all over the globe and does DIY shirtless.  Amen to him!
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)
















And Finally, Number One.  Rugby Boys always have a something about them.  They primal, physical, butch and a boys boy!  Yum Yum.  I present Ben Cohen! The inspiration behind Wiseman Nos 7 but also a gorgeous man to look at and enjoy.  He reigned the CB Queer Eye for 2010!

Barebacking: OMG How can it still exist???????

Online "dating"! I use the term loosely because dating can be many things these days. There is good old fashioned court platonically or meet merely to assess that the potential sex can work and then do it.

But a movement of Bareback sex is doing the rounds! Men are insisting that they only hook up for "BareBack" fun and do not even entertain the idea of condoms or try to convince the use of them!!! Would love to unpack that thinking further with people that practice this actively! I mean just to understand where they are  at!

All I could think was does that still exist in today's society. In the gay circles, I guess we have been accustomed to all treating condoms as a necessary part of sex. I mean we at this stage and age in life where if the mister downstairs gives the salute of approval, one is sleeping with the guy regardless of waiting for it to be "special" or waiting for the committed relationship. Fun is on the table, so enjoy it. Hence the condom becomes part of the process as you do not want the ghosts of sexual activities past in the deed!

And to add to it all, let us not forget our straight friends!!!!! Sex is just a big deal with them as it is with our gay folk! I know that in today's society sex has become more about fun and enjoying with whoever when you want it, with no other major considerations unlike what was previously drummed into our heads by our parents!

I struggle with lack of common sense!! Well from my framework and perspective at least!

Anyhoo......

My point is that I just cannot believe in today's world where we have more sexual liberation than ever and so much freedom of choice that some of us choose to not protect ourselves. For me it is in the same category as driving, flying or working with toxic chemicals! We take precautions proactively! No question!

Why is sex excluded especially in today's world with the HIV stats? Any of the reasoning below ring a bell?

- I wanted my man to feel free and not inhibited (CB Note: How much do you love yourself? Its's about your orgasm as well and while you at it, your SAFE orgasm?!?!)

- He pulls out in time so: I won't get pregnant (straight), no fluid exchange (gay) (CB Note: Oh, I am sorry! All men just stopped producing pre-cum. It must be global warming that is having this impact on them!!! All pre-cum is Fried away!!!! Yipee!!!!)

- Well he looks like he has not got HIV! I mean he looks healthy and besides he is clean and behaves like he was taught well, so I am sure he is fine! (CB Note: Forgive me, did not know you were a SuperHero person with the special ability to do visual blood analysis of a human being to make such an astute observation!)


- I only do this in first world countries or guys from first world countries! The stats are better so the probability is low they have HIV. (CB Note: Body Fluids are Body fluids!!! First world or Third world you still can get infected! But wow, very creative way to LIE to yourself!!!)



- I asked him if he was negative and he said yes and that was all I needed (CB Note: Wow, you underselling your talents for being a Human Lie Detector!)


- I am a top so I am rather low risk with such activities (CB Note: Note to self that you are a selfish BASTARD!!!)

I guess I have to come back to my bottom line with any human being I deal with. It is free will, choice and your responsibility! It is your path and you deal with consequence that results from that whether you choose to live consciously or unconsciously! It is interesting how most of us will do the necessary to ensure life runs smoothly but I guess sex may have a way to make all logic go out the window at times.

But Live and Let Live!