Talking Dirrty!

I will admit that when I saw this episode and what Miranda got up to, I was a little stomped as to how to articulate what I needed to.  Hehehehehehe  How does one give a perspective on talking dirrty in bedroom? Miranda is sleeping with this guy and he loves a verbal run down of what is happening during sex.  Miranda had an issue with it because she did not want to feel the need to articulate in the bedroom over and above the need to articulate herself in all other aspects if her life.

My only conclusion could be that maybe she had issues being present in the moment.  All part of the defense mechanism to open up and be in that moment and going with honestly expressing what she was about.  Miranda is known for all those barriers, this could simply just be another one in terms of not being able to be open, honest, vulnerable and intimate.

The CrazeeBee take is that it is about connection and being true in the moment.  To express yourself in that manner, even if verbal is part of it, is all good as long as it comes from a honest beautiful place.  I also feel that when it is between people who are having sex not really knowing each other, that it can be intimidating and not safe to truly be who you are.  But it comes down to being in a safe space to just be yourself, vulnerable and honest.  Sometimes, it is more about you being comfortable with who you are and how you express yourself no matter who you are with.

And this opens a deeper theme!  What are the boundaries and safe zones within a relationship.  Sex does blur the boundaries people!  If you truly going to make the best of the time with "hotrod" you will need to let down your boundaries and experience.  There is an element of that creeping into the other parts of the relationship.  But it comes down to you.  Miranda was happy just shagging and played a role.  If she wanted more, maybe it was her embracing a bigger picture of the guy she was with because situations as above, would be handled in a much more loving way by herself.

If there are "safe zones" in a relationship, it needs to raise the question of how you both evolve together!  Someone is stuck and not willing to deal with a shadow.  Cannot be the base for a great foundation if one truly wants intimacy . . . . . .

5 Things To Remember About That Nasty Person!

We all have them in our lives.  Those people we deem as nasty and simply hard work to deal with.  They always seem to have it in for us and simply  make us feel like crap every chance they get.  Some things to note:

1. You are bigger than their reaction and response to who you are or what you say.  We forget that and that we have a choice to allows them to make us feel inferior!
2. What they are doing reflects more about them than about you.  You really need to have your filters in place that can extract the truth from what they say or do
3. When you strong enough to be willing, open and curious to understanding what they saying deeper, you understand what it is from where it comes and that context is priceless
4. There is a belief that something you not aware of attracts the situation or nasty person, so it is a clue to the story you are telling yourself that needs understanding
5. At the end of the day, sometimes the person is simply a bitter asshole despite your best intentions!  But you have a choice to walk away or engage.  If you engage, may it be with the ability to respond with the wisest, most loving and powerful you

5 Things About Forgiveness

I am in the middle of doing my release work on a theme that I have discovered over the past couple of weeks.  I am amazed at how many of the release work that one has to do is about forgiveness.  And it is simply to let go of what holds you down.  Here are some key things I know about forgiveness :

1. It is not about saying that what the person has done to us is ok and does not mean that you are friends again and have to break bread with the person.  It is more about letting go of the story in your head and heart that the person has reflected to you
2. It never is about about the other person, it is all about you!  Which means you do not need a grand gesture or something dramatic to happen from that person to allow you to forgive them.  You can do it in the space within your heart and that only requires you and your choice
3. It does come down to choice of story to follow.  It will bring you to a point where you will see that the pain is linked to a story you carry.  And you can choose to lay it down or keep it
4. Practice the art of releasing physically in meditations.  It is easy to let go!  Start by releasing tension from your head, our eyes, your ears, your cheeks, simply let them relax and take it deeper with each breath.  Continue this same practice throughout your body.  Notice that you can choose to release and how easy it can be
5. Visualisation also helps.  I use a guided meditation where I visualize a sparkly river and I can visualize me taking that pain or story and placing in the river and watch it dissolve and flow into light.  It just provides an atmosphere for you to open to letting your story go

Fix You

We all want to feel special on some level.  That we are ok and don't need to be anything than who we are.  Our soul knows that and our spirit knows that.  Would someone please tell our EGO!  These false masks and drapes that we wear to make us feel special?  Are they really worth it?  When we perceive the world through the lenses of criteria other than what our soul knows, then we are so open to feel worthless, unpretty and not special.  The energy of the song let's one know that  there is a path back to light, to what your soul deeply knows for sure.  That you matter just as you are.  It is now up to you to shed the false drapes, lenses and masks.  Release it!

Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones 

Brutally Honest Conversations - 5 Things!

With any relationship comes a point where a truth comes out.  Life will happen, experiences will come and go, pressure will mount and then that someone just says it like it is.  No holding back, no minding their emotions, no minding how you feel about it or where you are in your head or heart, just the brutal, uncensored, unfiltered what they feel!  This happens between best friends, colleagues, family and more so with a romantic partner!  There are those times when all filters are down and that person speaks their brutal truth!  Some ideas from CrazeeBee :

1. Don't forget your boundaries!  All too quickly we jump to the conclusion that the person is right and we have driven them to react this way with us so we must be bad.  Listening to their point of view is important but it is equally important to weigh up what is being said and if there is something for you to work with and take note of.  It is not about blind acceptance that what they're saying is the truth about you
2. Listen!  We all too quickly want to defend, and be heard on our terms.  Listen and be curious to unpack it
3. If you got  hooked into the drama, when the dust settles, realise that it hit a nerve within you and that there is something for you to look at to understand if it is a healthy or unhealthy view that you carry around
4. No matter what, the people in your life are mirrors and thus will reflect what you need to take note of.    When you intend to remember that law, it does open your mind and heart to understand what truth you need to unfold
5. This is a building block to more closeness and better communication as you both come to an understanding of each other in a deeper sense.  When you come from a point of view of understanding that person better, you place yourself in a position to make loving choices when it comes to the next steps with that particular relationship

5 Things About Your Man And His Issues

I am not sure if it is universal across all relationships but somehow there is a drive with one within the partnership to rescue, nurture and comfort.  There will come a time in your relationships where your man has a bout of doubt in himself or doubt in what he is doing or the consequences he faces from some choices he has made.  This can range from anything in his life from his health, to his career or to  his happiness in general.  The question is what goes through your mind or heart when this man sits down and pours out where his head and heart is at and you have no idea how to make him feel better?  Some CrazeeBee observations to share :

1. He is still a human being! Which means he has choice which makes him responsible for his life and happiness.  Be careful it does not become your priority or responsibility to make his life better by taking on his pain and stress and making the choices for him
2. You are a human being!  You are unique and have all that makes you happy which is complimentary to him and not exactly the same values that make him happy.  So be sure that your priorities and what is important to you is not lost in trying to help him.   Be careful not to substitute your priorities with his to make his life all happy at a cost to you.  There is a middle ground which you need to get to.  There is a belief out there that sacrifice and compromise are the result of crap communication between partners.  Still exploring its practicality for me but it is a fascinating belief!
3. All you can do is offer options and advice.  It still is his choice and his consequences to deal with.  Also, be careful that is inability to make a decision or open himself to alternatives is a sign of your unworthiness.  Loving a successful strong inspiring man comes with a price of wanting to be a great support to him and being needed or being worthy to make him happy.  There is that trap you can easily fall into
4. It's always a negotiation when the consequence impacts your life as well.  It is about talking it out as to the next step that the partnership will take.  This works when you have your fears, insecurities and baggage in check to know what your filters are to make this s constructive next step discussion.  I can personally say that this is toughest trick to get right for me!
5. Unfortunately, there is no one-way fixes everything!  You have to feel and explore and learn case by case with him.  But through this all, if you remember to honor yourself and love, there will be a way that is right for both of you.  How to get there is unique to the couple

Your Resistance Is the Key!

Have you ever had the opportunity to simply sit down and take in where you resist stuff in life?  It is quite an interesting process when you start feeling your way through to happiness and then stumble across a bundle of eeeecky feelings when all you trying to do is feel blissful.  Bad feelings have a place and they are such a powerful tool to remind you that you are resisting some form of great in your life.

Look at what you makes you feel happy when you look to what success means to you.  For some it is in the form of wealth, for some it is some form of achievement or accolades, others it is a title or a state of influence!  And for most it is a state of mind that you are in harmony, in sync and safe in what you do!  That is what probably defines success in my mind.  You feel plugged into something awesome and that everything just comes together effortlessly and there are results.  Some of us realise it on the way to the end point of a particular journey and some only realise this at the end looking back at their journey.

For me, there is a need to understand what you resist when it comes to enjoying success.  Is there guilt that you somehow feel that to be successful that you need to work hard and long hours?  Is there lack of faith because there is no sweat or challenge?  Must the road be tough first before you get to success?  Is there a fear that you are not worthy because how can awesome things just happen to you?  Would you not need to pay some form of dues for that success?

Just something that has been playing on my mind.  I do believe that smart, focused, genius work is needed to be successful.  I do believe that one needs to be proactive, be able to balance risk and reward creatively and one needs to get innovative with the resources at your disposal with anything you undertake in life.  But it does not always equate to tough, long and tedious hours of slogging!  There is an element of harmony and high energy and engagement of all senses to produce superior results.

It puts a whole new twist on "work smarter not harder".  Look at what you resist to being successful or welcoming success into your life.  Where you feel guilty, stressed or fearful will give you your clues to what you resisting to let success in.

Just a thought to consider when making your choices to what you really want to believe.  What is your full story that you buy when it comes to enjoying success . . . . . . . . . . . . . mwah

I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

We all have those times that we hate looking in the mirror and whatever stares back at us is rather disgusting!  We have those times when we cannot see just how beautiful we are.  For those times, this is where faith in your light, your beauty and that it is all there and really has not left you.  Things change, life changes and how you see the world changes!  But beauty and love remains, it is making our way back to seeing the light and beauty.  Hopefully this song helps make you away back to seeing your beauty that has always and will always be there.  Just allow yourself to see it!  Mwah









But if . . . . .you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn  UNPRETTY

Marriage Plus Baby Equals Death

The SINGLE-hood!  The kind of words /phrases that go with it include freedom, fun, lightness, NO sacrifice, NO one to consider in decisions and independence.  The concept of a husband and children somehow make the house crowded and there seems to be just so much more to making life happen than just taking care of yourself and being able to do whatever you want to without answering to anyone else!

In this episode, Miranda and friends get invited to a baby shower of a once wild child friend of theirs.  Miranda sees the whole marriage and child thing as a cult that sucks you away from the free and wonderful life.  She basically equated it to death as she could not be herself, independent and would need to accommodate other individuals and have herself going last in the queue or even disappearing all together!

So it seems from Miranda's perspective that it comes down to choice of keeping who you are or losing who you are to a child and marriage.  That you really cannot have it all if you want the family life to come along.  It is a fear for people who work so hard to get their independence, success and living a life on their terms.  When that is so important to an individual, I can imagine how the idea of losing yourself is a scary one.

With anything in life, it is about evolving.  I can speak personally from my friends who have gone into parenthood and marriage and will tell you that it is one of the most exciting adventures they have been on.  None of them have said it was easy but all say that it is worth it.  For me, it is about understanding what is joyful and fulfilling for you.  It is not about compromise and sacrifice.  It really is about where your values are and what they mean for where you are in your life.  For someone who values the complete freedom of not considering more than one person in their decision making, the idea of kids and a committed relationship would not serve that.  For someone who values connection and building something special in the family space, then a marriage and kids would serve them.

I don't believe that  marriage plus a baby equals death.  I do believe that marriage and a baby are a consequence of where one's values and priorities are.  So as and when or as and if it comes that it becomes a priority, it will naturally flow and become real in one's life.  And by the time that swings by, that person will be in that mindset to go with the flow and deal with what comes from that journey.

So all we need to know is that life is what life needs to be right now for where our priorities, values and whatever fulfills us places us.  Some of us are in a fantasy and cannot see that our real desire is being met.  And some of us are fully aware of where we are based on what we value.  Either way, we are what we believe!  Mwah!

Safe Sex

Sex Toys!  I have no idea what the real stats on sex toys are and what the bottom line could be.  I do know that some people have them, enjoy them and have them handy in case of back up.  There are some that believe that sex toys close the door for another person to enter your life, there are some that believe that in this world of HIV that sex toys are probably the safer route to go and then there are some that believe that sex toys are the eventual replacement of a man!

In this episode, Miranda goes on about about how obsolete men will become one day.  That they are no longer needed for marriage, relationships, money and even sex.  She got herself a sex toy and could proudly announce that she could guarantee her next orgasm without working a man into the equation.

Sex Toys are considered safer sex as you only have to deal with yourself in the whole equation.  There is a machine that has no feeling, cannot give you feedback and do exactly what you command it to do. There is no contrast, no reflection back to you of anything, just you, your toy and the safety of a protected environment to get rather intimate and let go!

There is nothing wrong or right with the above.  If your desire is to connect with another deeply and share something special, then at some point, the toy needs to take a vacation for the man to be in a place to connect with.  With anything in life, it is about balance!  It is about opening up to experience and being honest with yourself.

I bet that Miranda at that point in her life, would rather deal with a sex toy than with a man.  It just seemed easier and safer.  And why?  Because there really was not another human being to deal with.  Another human being that would reflect back and mirror stuff back to Miranda to deal with.  And there would be no doubt that there would be some tough stuff for her to deal with given her state of mind.  Men can be compared to objects and are disposal and to be controlled, so that would be the type of level of man she would have to deal with.

So to those that have sex toys, ENJOY them.  Always remember that it is about being happy and comfortable in your own skin first.  Give other human beings the respect of connection and be humble and curious when dealing with them.

Mwah!

Having Authentic Power In Relationships

We all want to feel special and revel in the idea that we matter.  You can say what you want and deny it all you want but that is the truth.  Deep down we all want to feel like we matter!  So how does this all come together in relationships?  From my experience, there are very few relationships I admire and the ones I do admire seem to have that balance of the people being in their own power.

But there are those relationships where one person has the upper hand.  And the upper hand can be youth, sex appeal, hotness, money, influence, wisdom etc.  Essentially it is something that the other person feels they are missing or have a huge void in their current life that is replaced by that person being in their life.

In this episode Carrie struggles with the concept of using her sexually to get ahead.  She dates a guy that mistakes her for a professional and leaves her some money after a night out with her.  Miranda however was still doing her "sex-thang" with Skipper and he was pining away hopelessly obsessed with her.  You could also see the way she treated him that she had the power in the relationship and by the looks of how she reacted to Carrie's situation, probably believes that she should have the power in the relationship and under no circumstances would she ever give it up!  Poor her and poor Skipper.

Again, this comes back to the concept of FAIR EXCHANGE in a relationship.  There is a reality out there where what you give naturally and effortlessly is of value and loved by someone else.  What they give naturally and effortlessly is of value and loved by yourself.  That does exist in this world and I see that in the relationships I admire so much.

I feel having true power in a relationship is not necessarily staying exactly who you are and keeping that single version of you.  I believe it is the willingness to step into a new version or layer of yourself.  A deeper, open, wiser you that has deeper understanding and perspective as part of a partnership.  True authentic power in a relationship is never losing touch with the truth that you are responsible for being happy and that you chose joy for yourself and not your partner.  It means that you live each day taking next steps that are joyful to you and in so, that effortlessly and naturally brings joy to that of your partner.  It is stepping into the contrast of disagreements, dealing with insecurity and working through pain that you can revel in the peace of the other side and grow with your partner to a new layer of yourself.

I do see that most people cannot see that as a reality but I have seen some of my closest and dearest friends achieve that kind of partnership.  And the secret is them stepping into a new layer of who they are.

So don't be afraid to look at the new layer of you calling you to experience yourself deeper.  It may be scary but what have you got to lose staying in the miserable state of where you are currently. That state of power in your relationship is not authentic!

The Anatomy Of Trust

I  have lost touch with the blog world over the last couple of days.  Between the network connection issues in my area, the craziness at work and me dealing with some dark stories, I have been kept in a cocoon of late.  But light is shining through and moving forward seems to be the overall theme which is inspiring.  So my apologies for being "quiet" over the past couple of days.

So I was came across a concept a few days ago that children learn how to trust in something bigger, wiser and stronger when dealing with the adults in their lives.  I think I read this in one of the Marianne Williamson chapters from A Course in Weight Loss.  Could that be the problem with why some people cannot trust in a higher power?  Could that be the reason that why some people's faith is not as strong as it could be?

Kids learn by example from the adults in their lives.  So when the crap happens and life is harsh, unfair or the meaning of what is happening is not fully understood by a child, there are the parents, teachers, bigger and older siblings that are around that offer the advice, the bigger picture, the bigger wisdom whether they know they are doing it or not.

What is amazing is that this is where most of the life stories take on their creation for us as adults.  The victims of victims cycle is fed.  For some, it seems like a hopeless situation and that life is simply unfair and we must just deal with and accept the struggle.  But there is another side.  There is the power of choice.  There is the call for courage.  There is the opportunity to understand your story and choose differently.

So this goes out to all of those people that deal with disappointment in their parents, their adult heroes or role models.  Here is to acknowledging that they are human and they are victims of victims.  Yes, they could have hurt you by not being the strong, wise, intelligent and mature people you needed them to be.  They could have let their fears and hurt get the better of them and rule them which caused you pain!  They just were not there for you when you needed to understand, get perspective and choose the next best step for your best life.

I am reminded lately that if you are going to trust in something, it is in a set of principles or laws.  And because some of us have lost our willingness to trust in anything due to being burnt so badly in the past, it does not hurt to give a try on a set of principles or laws.  We still have the power of choice.  That is law/principle I believe in no matter the situation and holds true in every single situation in my life.

Start today to unpack the set of principles / laws you can start leaning on.  It is your choice to hold the stories you learnt from the adults in your life or now to start choosing the ones that support your best life.

Go Strong!
With Love
CB

The Thing About Belly Fat

Ok, so this grossed me out but got me thinking!  So apologies if I gross you out but this is a message that I believe we need to get as a citizens of this fast, high consumption of what is in sight world.  So I discovered this clip by Dr Oz on belly fat and it freaked me out!  I now get why that belly fat is soooooo stubborn!  And I did not even know that there were different types of fat to start of with.

What I will say is that I love Dr Oz's philosophy on not forcing the issue of eating healthy but nudging and allowing it to fall in place.  It is really choice by choice to a healthy lifestyle.  Note the waist size indicator and from the belly button.  That surprised me as I did notice my belly button getting a bit further from the rest of my body and need to look at correcting that.

For those of us who have food as a drug of choice, all that is encouraged is that we assess the choice of what goes in our mouth and the volume.  It is as simple as taking few seconds before you indulge to breathe and ask yourself to feel what you trying to sedate?   One of the things I have taken away from the clip is the snacking fist size meals during the day.  Just think of the variety and fun you can have with that concept.  I also recommend the book Women, Food and God by Geenen Roth.  I got some profound lessons and practices from her wisdom.  Here is also a link to the various articles and interviews on the book.

The Dr Oz Clip  Hopefully it triggers clarity for yourself or the start of the first step. . . . . .  .xoxo


Some major lessons I have taken away from reading this book include :

• Stop and breathe before the need to indulge.  Feel the feeling and then make your choice
• When you eat with awareness and engage in it, you will notice how great it tastes but you will also notice that point when you get full and need to stop.  Most of us are overeaters and we don't even know it!  I have a need to always watch TV when I eat.  That distracts me from knowing when I am full and I  in most cases overeat when I am watching TV while I eat.
• Practice the art of Inquiry.  Where you give your body a space to speak to you and all you do is unpack and unfold.  You come from an angle of curiosity versus judgement and knowing it all.  When you curious, you are open to an answer that is wrapped in truth

The Bricks Of The Wall Blocking Your Great Relationship!

I picked up a great sentiment from Marianne Williamson when I started reading her book "A Course In Weight Loss".  Lesson 1 spoke about Tear Down The Wall.  I am still working on this lesson and the Universe is aiding by sending more and more information to support me surrendering this wall to a higher power to help me tear it down.

So when it comes to those great awesome relationships, we all have our particular walls that are in place that block the greatness from flowing in and existing within us and our partner or potential partner.  So I invite you to partake in what I discovered the other day on relationship schemas.  I found this to be a fascinating read.

Step 1:
Do the quiz in the link provided and see what schemas come up for you : What's Your Schema

Step 2:
Read about the different schemas : 18 Habits From Childhood That Affect Our Relationships Now  It is scary when you can see where this has happened and the key role players that taught or got you into the habit.  Be it your Mom, Dad, siblings or even friends!

Step 3:
Trust your voice and inner self to gravitate towards the aspect that resonates the highest with you.  You will see the score of those that stand out but there will be a common thread between some of them.  I found that I gravitated to 3 out of the 5 that stood out to me from the survey.

Step 4:
You now have some of the bricks of your wall.  Now starts the unfolding and the choosing to release them and surrender them to a higher power to assist you with letting it go and tearing down that wall.  Read this article on the Person who found this practice : Love Traps 101

Step 5:
The unfolding process can be different for many.  Some would meditate on this, some would journal and some simply start reading up.  Personally, I like surrendering it and then staying open and aware for an answer.  Usually the answer does come all at once and I am flooded with truth.  It is literally like a puzzle click for me and all of a sudden I see a picture that makes so much sense.  You know that saying that a picture is worth a thousand words? That is exactly it!  But find a process that works for you get your answers that you know deep down is true for you

The bottom line is that you start creating awareness.  I have learnt with this spiritual thing is that there is no one answer fits all.  I believe this to my core.  All you can do is raise awareness and then ask with love that the answer unfolds for you in a loving and supportive way.  As long as you stay open, the Universe will hold up its end of the bargain by lovingly revealing and unfolding for you.  I don't know what next will happen for you to get clear but I do know that the above can help in getting the bricks visible to you.  The next step is part of the journey you are on.

Thought I would share.  Please let me know how it unfolds for you. I am super curious . . . .

With Love
CB

A Course In Weight Loss : Lesson 1

I started reading A Course In Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson not so long ago and wanted to share some of the take aways from the book.  These were the kind of truths that resonated with me and got me thinking or seeing life and it's relation to me in a different light.  Key themes that stood out :

• We all have a wall that we build to keep something away from us.  Be it a person, a situation, a feeling or a truth.  the trick is figuring out the make up of your wall.  Mine is food.  For others it could be sex, drugs, excess TV or some from of addiction or escapism
• We are meant to feel no matter what.  Pain, joy, peace, fear, shame etc.  We are meant to feel it, experience it, process it and move on.  It's through feeling it that we process it and move beyond to a space of choice and truth.  Somehow we get stuck with some by not truly feeling and processing.  I love how after you feel something that you come a point of choice to take a different view or let go of the one you hold.  It's a powerful place to get to.
• Being truthful with yourself can take many forms and do what sits comfortably with you.  For some it is confessing, for some it means coming clean and for some it is writing it down.  But what is truly remarkable is that being honest with yourself is merely surrendering to the rawness of that truth and looking it straight in the eye and acknowledging it for what it is.  When we brave to do that, we move to a powerful place of choice.  Choice to let the story go or deepen our understanding of the perception

My biggest take away from Lesson 1 has been the concept of how we fear seeing ourselves clearly!  It's hard not to see when the lights go on in a room and the darkness disappears.  You cannot deny what is in the room.  I see how the walls that we build protect us and keep us in the dark so that we do not have to put the light on and see clearly.  It is the whole stay in ignorance and be blissful thing.  Some of us prefer that state versus having to own up and look at what's in the room and choose to leave the mess or clean it up and make space!

The other take away is that I can ask for help from something bigger and wiser than me!  I can pray and be grateful for the access to a higher wisdom, a higher power and a higher intellect that I can surrender my problem to help me solve it and move forward.  This whole notion of faith and trust come into play which I will admit is still a challenge for an outcomes based individual as myself.  But it is something to work with and unpack and take one step at a time.

I would love to hear about your stories when it comes to trusting in the Universal wisdom, limitless solutions and intelligence?  Have you had experiences that you can share?

Keep up to date on the other lessons by visiting the The Business Of Good Livin page.  Love and Light xoxo

Embrace The Looming Change In Your Life!

In Honor of my last post of embracing the change in your life, below is a delicious song to get you into the frequency to surrender to the change that is manifesting in your life.  Ask to be open and be grateful that you will get the answer.  Start releasing the idea that your questions go unanswered.  They can be when you are willing to be open the how the message gets to you.

No offense to The Verve.  But I love changing the verse that repeats "Can't Change" to "Can Change".  It rolls off the tongue better ;)

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

You Are Ready To Enjoy The Best Of A Relationship . . .

Romantic Relationships!  They can bring out the best or the worst in us.  They can be exciting or simply scary!  Either way, we each have a position to it and know what it means to us.  I have had one of the biggest shifts in my perception/belief system when it came to how I saw relationships.  I have settled on a truth that says I am ready to experience healing from romantic relationships just as I am!

How many of us single folk have been putting off being a relationship because we need to do "work" to be ready to experience the best in a relationship?  How many of us hooked up folk wonder what is causing your partner to stick around and love you?  How many of us simply question our worthiness to enjoy the best of a relationship?  It's reflective power, healing ability, embracing nature, warm safety, harsh realities and ability to see ourselves more clearly!

Then we get to work!  So we go on making ourselves better and keeping in shape, getting our lives together, work hard on getting our baggage out the way so we can be whole and real for someone else.  For those in a relationship, we are constantly looking at self improvement to ensure we keep that flame burning like when you first met.  There is a constant call to keep up the work as there is simply no room for complacency.  And as you get wrapped up in all this "work" you need to do to be the best you can be to have the great love, you without even knowing it, start securing this wall around you!  This cocoon that allows you to grow and improve and shuts out the person you trying to be your best with!

I have always judged relationships where I detected a neediness between the couple.  Or one where I found the one needed the other to complete them and make them their best.  It truly bothered me that we need someone to make us whole and better.  That dependency made me want to throw up!  I could never make peace with women who gave up their careers, their lives for a man.  I could never understand why some men would do some stupid stuff to show their love for their loved ones.  It seemed all so silly.  I could never see how a couple could fight all the time and work on each other's nerves and still stay together.  I never got it!

But there is another way to see it.  Relationships are the best reflective tool to help you see yourself clearly.  And when you brave enough, you realise that you need that person to just be who they need to be because that in itself is a tool to help you get clear on so much.  On your journey of self improvement, moving closer to understanding you and life and bliss, relationships can heal, bring clarity and bring you closer to your truth!

And so when you embrace that men in a romantic sense can help you in so many ways to find yourself, your bliss and truth, the pressure of him being THE ONE potentially can go away.  Because it no longer is about you being in that perfect body, having that perfect career, living that perfect self awareness that you can handle anything, owning that perfect house and having that perfect man that fairytales are written about for happily ever after!  It is about you right now in this moment being ready to enjoy the best of a romantic relationship with a man.  That's enough for you to heal and move forward . . . .

Whether you are fat, have no life game plan, feel like the worst scum, fear the world, hate yourself or even feel like you are not worth it, there is a GRACE, a LOVE that exists to help you find you, your way and your truth if you simply are willing to ask for it.  And it could come in the form of a healing romantic relationship!  How exciting!

With Love
CB

Fair Exchange : Romance vs You

Romance can be such a drug!  I can see why.  We as humans crave love and love gets us to experience some intense special out of this world feelings.  Some are great at giving that to themselves and some are not so great at doing that.  So for those who have not mastered giving that to themselves, it is natural that when someone does come along, that they get hooked and crave a constant fix from that person.

In this journey of love and sharing your life with someone, fair exchange exists for me where you own and take responsibility of making yourself happy.  When you can tell that person from your heart that they are off the hook to make you happy, strong and blissful then the terms of engagement are fair from your side of the deal.  The same goes for you expecting that that person take responsibility and does not need you as a drug to make them strong, happy and blissful.

Take at a look at romance and your position to it.  Are lovers off the hook to make you happy and are you off the hook from loved ones to make them happy?  Can they just simply be who they are around you without pressure from you to make them different to make your life better?  Is that the same for you when you deal with them?

Can you both simply just be as you are?

Some images found at wickedgayblog

Position Other Than 1 Available . . . . . I'll Take It!

All humans have a priority or value list!  And the way life goes, it is ranked and the world and people are experienced through that.  Experiences happen in life and then you  realise where you rank on the priority list of another.  Your partner makes choices to spend time in other areas and you always seem to not be number 1, when it comes to the crunch and your friend has a choice of who to help, they choose to smooth over another's pain over yours, your parents favour a sibling over you, you give your all at work to be respected and valued but somehow others always get more recognition, opportunity and money than you!

There is enough evidence you can gather on any subject on how you rank up against another's priority list.  The question is do you buy into it and let it control your choices and behaviour?

Simply put, the only priorities or values that need to grab your attention is your current ones!  And how happy you are with their order and how closely you are living them. If that is your life's focus, the rest gets a place that has little to no power over you.  When one is so busy worrying about the next person's success (whether deserving or not) or the next person getting more with "perceiving" them doing less, it is clear that their bigger picture for their life is no longer clear to them!

So the next time you feel the world is a bit unfair or that others are getting so  much more for doing so much less than you, it is life screaming at you to get back in touch with your bigger picture.  And you start by taking a look at your value system and the ranking of that and how it is currently manifested in your life!

You will soon realise that being number 2 on any subject is by your doing and not that of another.  You will also realise when you brave enough that the power and choice lies with you to move up to the number 1 position.

Love
CB

Blog Crush : A Slice of Gay Pie: Do we all measure up?

I found this to be a cute and adorable post.  I guess when it comes down to most things in life, when you love it the rest of the world loves it.  It all starts with you loving yourself first.  Enjoy it!

A Slice of Gay Pie: Do we all measure up?: "A graph on the world's cock sizes - from another blog - got me thinking about how much size really matters? Are men suppose to believe..."