The First Time : 5 Things

I was catching up on one of my favorite TV Series the other day.  Glee!  Anyhoo, I was watching an episode when some characters where going through their awakening sexuality and wanting to share intimately that side of them with their partner.  I kept on bringing my baggage into the equation with stuff like, you are only 17 people!  What do you know and is it not too early on in life to take that kind of plunge?

It got me thinking that for some of us, our first time was to be forgotten and for some, our first time was all special and amazing when we look back.  Some CrazeeBee thoughts:

1. The one thing I would teach my kids is to make choices that they are comfortable with.  There is probably no way I could ever stop them from experiencing what they need to for their path and as scary as that would be for me, the only thing I could ever do for them is try my best to make them see all sides of the equation.  As long as they are comfortable they can source the information they need to be safe and make an empowered choice then I have done all I could do
2. There is something to be said with knowing someone on a level that makes you feel safe to open up to share that intimate part of you.  That is probably the scariest part of sex for some.  Exposing that deep vulnerable side and having someone experience that
3. It definitely is a reflection of how much you trust yourself and love yourself to just be as you are.  Going into something that is meant to be felt and experienced and staying in your head the whole time judging yourself, the situation and the guy just speaks to where you are with loving yourself
4. There is the reality for some where it is just clumsy and awkward but I can bet when there are strong feelings of love and caring involved, it is looked back with love and fondness 
5. There are some that go there when they are not ready for the consequence of what comes after sharing that with someone, or go there for reasons other than what is right for them and what  makes  them comfortable.  There is no way to turn back time, but there is a place of choice to listen more to what speaks from the inside and go ahead with choices that truly sit within power within one's self.  It is a mistake but one where you can do the work and forgive yourself and move on to open up for someone special.  The first time has its place but sharing deeply and connecting with someone is always available to all on this earth, no matter your background and mistakes!

Brutally Honest Conversations - 5 Things!

With any relationship comes a point where a truth comes out.  Life will happen, experiences will come and go, pressure will mount and then that someone just says it like it is.  No holding back, no minding their emotions, no minding how you feel about it or where you are in your head or heart, just the brutal, uncensored, unfiltered what they feel!  This happens between best friends, colleagues, family and more so with a romantic partner!  There are those times when all filters are down and that person speaks their brutal truth!  Some ideas from CrazeeBee :

1. Don't forget your boundaries!  All too quickly we jump to the conclusion that the person is right and we have driven them to react this way with us so we must be bad.  Listening to their point of view is important but it is equally important to weigh up what is being said and if there is something for you to work with and take note of.  It is not about blind acceptance that what they're saying is the truth about you
2. Listen!  We all too quickly want to defend, and be heard on our terms.  Listen and be curious to unpack it
3. If you got  hooked into the drama, when the dust settles, realise that it hit a nerve within you and that there is something for you to look at to understand if it is a healthy or unhealthy view that you carry around
4. No matter what, the people in your life are mirrors and thus will reflect what you need to take note of.    When you intend to remember that law, it does open your mind and heart to understand what truth you need to unfold
5. This is a building block to more closeness and better communication as you both come to an understanding of each other in a deeper sense.  When you come from a point of view of understanding that person better, you place yourself in a position to make loving choices when it comes to the next steps with that particular relationship

5 Things About Your Man And His Issues

I am not sure if it is universal across all relationships but somehow there is a drive with one within the partnership to rescue, nurture and comfort.  There will come a time in your relationships where your man has a bout of doubt in himself or doubt in what he is doing or the consequences he faces from some choices he has made.  This can range from anything in his life from his health, to his career or to  his happiness in general.  The question is what goes through your mind or heart when this man sits down and pours out where his head and heart is at and you have no idea how to make him feel better?  Some CrazeeBee observations to share :

1. He is still a human being! Which means he has choice which makes him responsible for his life and happiness.  Be careful it does not become your priority or responsibility to make his life better by taking on his pain and stress and making the choices for him
2. You are a human being!  You are unique and have all that makes you happy which is complimentary to him and not exactly the same values that make him happy.  So be sure that your priorities and what is important to you is not lost in trying to help him.   Be careful not to substitute your priorities with his to make his life all happy at a cost to you.  There is a middle ground which you need to get to.  There is a belief out there that sacrifice and compromise are the result of crap communication between partners.  Still exploring its practicality for me but it is a fascinating belief!
3. All you can do is offer options and advice.  It still is his choice and his consequences to deal with.  Also, be careful that is inability to make a decision or open himself to alternatives is a sign of your unworthiness.  Loving a successful strong inspiring man comes with a price of wanting to be a great support to him and being needed or being worthy to make him happy.  There is that trap you can easily fall into
4. It's always a negotiation when the consequence impacts your life as well.  It is about talking it out as to the next step that the partnership will take.  This works when you have your fears, insecurities and baggage in check to know what your filters are to make this s constructive next step discussion.  I can personally say that this is toughest trick to get right for me!
5. Unfortunately, there is no one-way fixes everything!  You have to feel and explore and learn case by case with him.  But through this all, if you remember to honor yourself and love, there will be a way that is right for both of you.  How to get there is unique to the couple

Landslide

This song is simply beautiful.  Change in you and change in those you love and hate are inevitable.  All you can do is either resist it or allow it.  The beauty is to realise that you are equipped to deal with it and maybe, youcan give yourself permission to be brave and have the courage to allow what it brings.  Enjoy the lyrics.  They are simply beautiful!


I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Where the Landslide brought me down


Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life


Uh ah . . . .  uh ah . . . . .  uh ah  . . . . . . 


Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my whole life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too


Instrumental

Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my whole life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

I'm getting older too

Well, I'm getting older too


So, take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb that mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snowed covered hills
Well the Landslide brought me down


If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills


Well maybe . . . . . . 
Well maybe . . . . . . 
Well maybe . . . . . . 


The landslide brought me down

Be Curious!

Curiosity is something that is very fascinating and can change the way you engage with life and others.  Being curious puts you in a very positive and inviting space when dealing with a situation or person.  The tendency is to judge the person or situation and all the openess and learning is zapped from that  moment that you find yourself in.

Being curious allows you to open your mind, your heart  and your ability to deepen your understanding.  You are able to question delightfully and with no judgment.  You unpack a situation with no expectation.  You create a space to learn, to embrace, to understand and to safely share.

This is particularly difficult as a practice for me but I am definitely open to practising the art of curiosity with situations, myself and people.  So maybe the next time, your partner frustrates you, or a situation has you wondering what you did to deserve that pain or you simply find yourself in a crappy headspace, maybe soaking in some curiosity and then approaching it could unfold something pretty wonderful.  Try it out and please share ;)

What A Feelin

Another Kelly Rowland mix up and what a groovy song!  I love how this song is all about surrendering to the love in front of you.  So sing at the top of your voice, put your hands up and surrender to love.  Simply be open and willing.  Mwah











"Boy you got my attention, what's up? My heart is beating"



















"Got my hands way up, I surrender to love"

"My favorite star I stared at every night came down from the sky"

Having Sex Like A Man

So my birthday inspired this series of my blog.  I remembered the first episode of Sex and the City last night as I had my closest and dearest friends around the table talking about every and any subject available to us.  Sex and the City is my all time favourite series that has inspired so much open conversation with myself and my friends.  So I dusted off my bible and popped in the first episode of the first series.

It was all about having Sex Like a Man.  Sex without feeling and commitment.  And that there was nothing wrong with just being in the moment and feeling all good about it.  What got my attention was that it was a 30 something Miranda Hobbes' birthday.

Miranda potentially represents that overachiever career individual.  She does not believe that there is anything sexually attractive about herself and that she has to compete with all these gorgeous model types with their perfect bodies and effortless ways of getting men to fall all over them.  So she gives up the game as she accepts that she is not going to be as the masses are.  But secretly it's because really, she knows she will lose!

So she goes on to make herself this strong independent women that basically breaks men down and makes them feel inadequate.  Especially those that show interest in her.  She almost removed any limb she could find from poor Skipper.  And there he was simply trying with such sweet and good intentions to get her to loosen up and like him.

So for the Miranda types, Having Sex Like a Man i.e simply being able to be in the moment and enjoy it and not expect anything more afterwards is a little difficult.  Miranda types need to first get over themselves and work through all those walls and barriers that make it so difficult for the good men with good intentions to get through to them.

What is awesome though is that there are men like Skipper out there.  Men that see through Miranda's bullshit and see her light.  It is those kind of men that allow someone like Miranda to heal and take a step closer to loosening up and being herself more.

So the moral of the story is that sex is sex.  It is there to be enjoyed and it is about what you are comfortable with.  Some say it is better with feeling, some say it is better without feeling.  For me, it is about simply getting over yourself and really about being open to being experienced and experiencing someone.  How deep an experience it is depends on the depth of how much of yourself you allow to be available to be experienced.

I am just excited that the possibility exists of someone seeing your light despite the walls and barriers you put up for protection.  Now that gives me hope that good men exist!  Mwah!

A Course In Weight Loss : Lesson 2

I finally got to wrapping up Lesson 2 about a week ago which I will admit was such a stretch for me.  I honestly resisted the whole affair.  I guess I was just not ready to face what could come out for me to deal with.

Anyhoo.

The primary focus of Lesson 2 is to get to know the fat side of yourself.  It is basically opening up to the idea that you have all these parts of you and that your essence is the common theme through all these different sides of you.  What was awesome for me was the notion of "You cannot negotiate with what you do not understand"  This was a profound phrase for me that to this day still impacts how I am seeing the world.

Lesson 2 invites you to start understanding that fat side of you.  That side has a lesson/message/story that would be for your highest good if you only open up and look to understanding what is going on. So I highly recommend Lesson 2.  For me, I have discovered how arrogance, being one dimensional and closing off to taking in wisdom around me or understanding others can be such a natural thing for me if I focus on a goal.  My excess weight serves as a reminder for me to stay open and see a bigger picture.  It is all abstract at the moment for me personally, but a theme I will work with the theme to unpack it into practicality that makes sense for me.  You will see a post on any realisations I make of it as a result

Key take aways from Lesson 2:

• There are many facets to you and they all have a message or story for you to understand.  You can choose to embrace that and understand it or ignore it or ban it
• Ignoring it ensures that that part of you will do what it needs to in order to get your attention.  You could get fatter or sick or something that simply is enough for you to take note
• You cannot negotiate with what you not understand, so you cannot move forward if you are not willing to start looking that facet in the eye and understand what the story is
• Life is mirror that you can use to work through the blockages and limiting stories.  Although the focus of lesson 2 was on weight, I found that I could relate the concept to more than just weight.  I could see it in the people that irritate and piss me off or simply make we want to avoid them.  I could see how there was a facet of me that wanted my attention to say what it needed to.  I have found that when I took the time to understand where those people were coming from, I learnt something deeper about myself.  Just an interesting process indeed.

So my dears, there is something to be said about expanding your view on a subject and going with the notion of understanding something ugly or disgusting before throwing it away!  I would also read up on the concept of mirrors which this link explains beautifully.  The Little Book Of Mirrors

I would love to hear about your experiences with facing those sides of you that you ignore!

Keep up to date on the other lessons by visiting the The Business Of Good Livin page.  Love and Light xoxo

Some Food For Thought

I have been on this sentiment of fair exchange in relationships and embracing relationships that heal and bring us closer to our best.  I found this phrase from Abraham.  For those who don't know him, he inspires the work of Jerry and Esther Hicks.  Enjoy the thought.  It leaves me with a sense of comfort that relationships do bring out the best in us.


That "death do us part" thing is a protective mechanism. It says, "I don't trust me, and I don't trust you to be in a place where we are evoking the best from each other. And so, just to make sure, let's promise that even if we don't, we'll suffer it out together." Every law, sacred or secular, that we have ever seen in your environment has always come from a place of disconnection, from a place of protectiveness.


--- Abraham

Blaine Moments

So Glee is all about how the kids are taking on new layers and exploring new sides of themselves.  That is what I see everytime I watch it.  It really makes me soooooo happy and emotional.  We all have our challenges and needing to simply make it to breathe and just be ourselves.  One of the storylines I am really drawn to is the journey of Kurt.  Blaine is like an answer to his healing in so many ways.  Kurt is an answer to Blaine's healing in so many ways.

It may just be a TV show, but the message it calls one to understand is simple.  You are allowed to enjoy the best of someone and it can heal the worst of you.  And the beauty of the whole thing is that it is fair exchange.  That person loves giving you what heals you, and you love giving what heals that person.  It is truly poetic!  Words cannot describe the perfection in such a harmony.  That is what I feel when I see Kurt and Blaine together.  Healing in a fair exchange relationship.  How beautiful!

There Is A Freedom In Your Arms . . . .

This song is so beautiful.  Miss Rimes has one of the most angelic voices around.  Divine!  This song can remind one that freedom can come in the arms of a romantic partner.  Yes needing someone is ok when they allow you a space to heal and step closer to understanding and truth.  Life supports you with clues and pieces of a puzzle of your truth.  We can go it with just us and God as well as with God and us and a romantic partner.  Nothing wrong with either approach.

But for me, there are options, and why not try out the ride with a special man that can teach and heal you along the way.  Here is to embracing the power of healing that comes from romantic relationships.  Thank you for such blessings that comes from loving someone and being loved.  Amen!

There's a Freedom in your arms and it carries me through . . . . . 













I need you like Mercy from Heaven's Gate . . . . 

In Happiness With You

These days I am finding it a challenge to express myself as I feel that I am processing a new layer in my life.  I simply need to let my recent shifts settle!  I am excited that the world will be seen through new eyes and be experienced with an expanded perspective, heart and mind.  Lovely!  This song has being resonating of late.  One can see when you brave to experience and go with what is in front of you, in time you will find yourself in happiness.  For me, it's about going through the experience knowing you and the situation will figure it out!  That is where I am.  Enjoy!

"The things that you can give to me, I can feel them when you holding me close"














"Come see that I am ready for this!  You're so good for me"

Baby I Love You!

I found this gem of a song the other day on the Treadmill.  What a gorgeous song just giving into your heart's desire and letting the man know it!  This song can potentially capture that moment you realise that you truly like someone, have something special brewing inside of you or simply ready to take the plunge with that super special man!  It's yum!  Enjoy!

















"Boy when you look my way I realize more and more I adore your pretty eyes"
















"The day I first felt the power of you inside of me, such a strong feeling"

Song Crush : I Am!

In life, you will see that no matter what the subject in your life, love comes about for that subject by others when you have pioneered the way to love and adore it first!  This song is all about you.  That no one can love a subject better than you.  You have to love it first and to the best love that you are capable of.  The love from others follows as a natural consequence.  Tune into that frequency and see what that does for your life. Yum!