5 Things About Forgiveness

I am in the middle of doing my release work on a theme that I have discovered over the past couple of weeks.  I am amazed at how many of the release work that one has to do is about forgiveness.  And it is simply to let go of what holds you down.  Here are some key things I know about forgiveness :

1. It is not about saying that what the person has done to us is ok and does not mean that you are friends again and have to break bread with the person.  It is more about letting go of the story in your head and heart that the person has reflected to you
2. It never is about about the other person, it is all about you!  Which means you do not need a grand gesture or something dramatic to happen from that person to allow you to forgive them.  You can do it in the space within your heart and that only requires you and your choice
3. It does come down to choice of story to follow.  It will bring you to a point where you will see that the pain is linked to a story you carry.  And you can choose to lay it down or keep it
4. Practice the art of releasing physically in meditations.  It is easy to let go!  Start by releasing tension from your head, our eyes, your ears, your cheeks, simply let them relax and take it deeper with each breath.  Continue this same practice throughout your body.  Notice that you can choose to release and how easy it can be
5. Visualisation also helps.  I use a guided meditation where I visualize a sparkly river and I can visualize me taking that pain or story and placing in the river and watch it dissolve and flow into light.  It just provides an atmosphere for you to open to letting your story go

Your Resistance Is the Key!

Have you ever had the opportunity to simply sit down and take in where you resist stuff in life?  It is quite an interesting process when you start feeling your way through to happiness and then stumble across a bundle of eeeecky feelings when all you trying to do is feel blissful.  Bad feelings have a place and they are such a powerful tool to remind you that you are resisting some form of great in your life.

Look at what you makes you feel happy when you look to what success means to you.  For some it is in the form of wealth, for some it is some form of achievement or accolades, others it is a title or a state of influence!  And for most it is a state of mind that you are in harmony, in sync and safe in what you do!  That is what probably defines success in my mind.  You feel plugged into something awesome and that everything just comes together effortlessly and there are results.  Some of us realise it on the way to the end point of a particular journey and some only realise this at the end looking back at their journey.

For me, there is a need to understand what you resist when it comes to enjoying success.  Is there guilt that you somehow feel that to be successful that you need to work hard and long hours?  Is there lack of faith because there is no sweat or challenge?  Must the road be tough first before you get to success?  Is there a fear that you are not worthy because how can awesome things just happen to you?  Would you not need to pay some form of dues for that success?

Just something that has been playing on my mind.  I do believe that smart, focused, genius work is needed to be successful.  I do believe that one needs to be proactive, be able to balance risk and reward creatively and one needs to get innovative with the resources at your disposal with anything you undertake in life.  But it does not always equate to tough, long and tedious hours of slogging!  There is an element of harmony and high energy and engagement of all senses to produce superior results.

It puts a whole new twist on "work smarter not harder".  Look at what you resist to being successful or welcoming success into your life.  Where you feel guilty, stressed or fearful will give you your clues to what you resisting to let success in.

Just a thought to consider when making your choices to what you really want to believe.  What is your full story that you buy when it comes to enjoying success . . . . . . . . . . . . . mwah

Having Authentic Power In Relationships

We all want to feel special and revel in the idea that we matter.  You can say what you want and deny it all you want but that is the truth.  Deep down we all want to feel like we matter!  So how does this all come together in relationships?  From my experience, there are very few relationships I admire and the ones I do admire seem to have that balance of the people being in their own power.

But there are those relationships where one person has the upper hand.  And the upper hand can be youth, sex appeal, hotness, money, influence, wisdom etc.  Essentially it is something that the other person feels they are missing or have a huge void in their current life that is replaced by that person being in their life.

In this episode Carrie struggles with the concept of using her sexually to get ahead.  She dates a guy that mistakes her for a professional and leaves her some money after a night out with her.  Miranda however was still doing her "sex-thang" with Skipper and he was pining away hopelessly obsessed with her.  You could also see the way she treated him that she had the power in the relationship and by the looks of how she reacted to Carrie's situation, probably believes that she should have the power in the relationship and under no circumstances would she ever give it up!  Poor her and poor Skipper.

Again, this comes back to the concept of FAIR EXCHANGE in a relationship.  There is a reality out there where what you give naturally and effortlessly is of value and loved by someone else.  What they give naturally and effortlessly is of value and loved by yourself.  That does exist in this world and I see that in the relationships I admire so much.

I feel having true power in a relationship is not necessarily staying exactly who you are and keeping that single version of you.  I believe it is the willingness to step into a new version or layer of yourself.  A deeper, open, wiser you that has deeper understanding and perspective as part of a partnership.  True authentic power in a relationship is never losing touch with the truth that you are responsible for being happy and that you chose joy for yourself and not your partner.  It means that you live each day taking next steps that are joyful to you and in so, that effortlessly and naturally brings joy to that of your partner.  It is stepping into the contrast of disagreements, dealing with insecurity and working through pain that you can revel in the peace of the other side and grow with your partner to a new layer of yourself.

I do see that most people cannot see that as a reality but I have seen some of my closest and dearest friends achieve that kind of partnership.  And the secret is them stepping into a new layer of who they are.

So don't be afraid to look at the new layer of you calling you to experience yourself deeper.  It may be scary but what have you got to lose staying in the miserable state of where you are currently. That state of power in your relationship is not authentic!