Some say never sleep with him on the first date and some say make him stew and anticipate when the time is special. Today, sex for some has become like fast food. It can be enjoyed minutes after you say yes to it and you don't need the long lead time like before to indulge in it like before.
This is the episode where Carrie and Big had their first date and she went straight to home run with him. Miss Hobbes was at the gym taking her frustration out on a boxing bag, kicked a cute guy in the head and scored someone that was interested in her. She was in denial that someone could like her, but went with it and spent the night a couple of dates into knowing him. She discovers a freakish fantasy side about him and after grappling with it, she opens up to accepting it and the man scares off and leaves her!
What was interesting is that within a week, Miranda found a freakish secret about her man. She had gone from meeting him to dating him to full on sexual relationship to first secret to deal with her man. And when she jumped into it, he got scared. Could it simply be that the relationship was not ready to deal with that level of truth?
What stood out for me was how eager Miranda was to plunge into anything within the new relationship and get all those checkboxes ticked. And the big question is always when does sex come into the relationship? There are those that say ASAP and the others that say let's wait for it to be special.
We live in an impatient world of late. Results must be fast or close to instantaneous! And for some reason the whole sex thing is part of that getting results fast theme. It probably comes down to where you are when it comes to your belief of what sex means! Because at the end of the day, that will drive how you respond to the man in your life when you take the plunge with the guy. For some it means you must be closer because you have shared something "special", for some it could be just fun and games and tallying up a conquest list and for some it means some form of commitment from the other person. But that is your view and not necessarily his view.
Whatever you believe, the trick is to understand it. Because I do find that when sex comes into the picture, something unravels or comes to light. If you understand that, you can understand how you responding and bring yourself to a point of choice. To continue responding like that and moving from guy to guy responding as status quo. Or you could choose to change your response by believing a different story.
So there is nothing wrong with Fast Food Sex! It is the story you carry and the response it invokes within you that needs light to see what choices you have available. And why not choose a story that brings you joy!
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