Couple Syndrome

I am not sure what the link is but there comes a stage in your single life when you are constantly surrounded by couples!  It is like being the only person without a mobile phone at times.  You can't be considered normal if you do not have a partner that is sharing your life.

It is amazing how you are considered normal when you with someone.  I also find that people who are in a couple get a certain confidence to life.  It is like they now relax and give themselves permission to start living.  It also seems like others around them give them a chance to start living.

It is no wonder some of us have this need to be in a couple.  It seems easier for society to accept who we are when you have a live witness and someone validating your existence and life.  It is just amazing how we find it safer to connect with each other when you part of a couple.  All of a sudden you feel like a deeper richer individual and you have the world seeing you as that as well.

This is part where Miranda was assumed to be a lesbian and faked being in a couple to get the attention she believed she deserved whether she was single or not.  She really felt victimised for not having someone and was not happy being looked at as someone freakish or unsafe because she was single.  Probably the whole concept, let wild animals be caged so that we can feel safer to deal with them.  Who cares, the wild animal has not got you on the agenda.  All it wants is freedom to live its life!

I guess for me Couple Syndrome is a reality and in all our lives in some form.  We as humans love connecting and sharing deeply with another.  I have realised that we all are in a couple.  It might just not be in the form you recognise but you are in a couple situation in your life.  So for the single folk, just consider that best friend you do everything with, share your life with, that feeling of connection you get from working with some people at work or the long amounts of time you spend with your family. All forms of connecting with someone other than you and sharing your life experiences.

It boils down to getting experiences that reflect back your joy and your best you to yourself.  Romantic relationships are extremely powerful at letting yourself experience the best of yourself.  I guess that is why we make it such a big deal.  But the essence is all about connection.  Whether you single or in a couple, the ability to connect is there.  Let's be open to connect on more levels than just what we think is normal.

I guess Miranda was willing to try out a chick for that!  hehehehehe  Not sure I would go that far but I do feel that there is room to believe that you are not weird because you are single.  By the fact that you have the ability to connect makes you awesome just the way you are because that means that men out there can experience you.  Now that is something to get excited about!

Mwah!

Give Skipper A Chance

So this is an interesting one.  There are those super beautiful people out there.  And yes they are what fantasies are made of.  And everytime some of us see them, we instantly go into compare mode and feel like we won't cut it in the dating scene or the relationship scene because we just do have the H.O.T factor.

This is the time when Miranda blows Skipper off because he does not fit her definition of a man she would want to date.  I guess the sweetness simply was too much for her.  Is a great character really that sexy?  Is sweetness all that it is made up to be when one has hormones raging?  Can sweet guys with great characters really be the kind of man that equates to prince charming that we all long for?  That well built camel man that is so gladiator alpha and what  fantasy fairytales are made of!

At the end of the day, beauty is not a life long thing and when you look back at any special moment in your life or special time in your life, it had nothing to do with how good someone looked.  It had to do with the connection and how they made you feel.

That is probably what made Miranda give Skipper a chance in that supermarket.  She could see the realness in his intention and she liked that someone could see her and still wanted a piece of her.  So this is just an invite to single folk out there.  Be willing to open to connection and experiencing yourself and someone else on more than just one level.

At the end of the day, it is about having experiences that make you clearer on you and your next step.  So why not try it in your relationships or adventures with men.  Be willing to see more to a man than just how good he looks and maybe you won't feel so bad when you see a perfect specimen that you think men compare you to.  If you willing to expand your view, be sure that there are people out there that are willing to expand their view on beauty.

Give the Skippers in your life a chance.

Having Sex Like A Man

So my birthday inspired this series of my blog.  I remembered the first episode of Sex and the City last night as I had my closest and dearest friends around the table talking about every and any subject available to us.  Sex and the City is my all time favourite series that has inspired so much open conversation with myself and my friends.  So I dusted off my bible and popped in the first episode of the first series.

It was all about having Sex Like a Man.  Sex without feeling and commitment.  And that there was nothing wrong with just being in the moment and feeling all good about it.  What got my attention was that it was a 30 something Miranda Hobbes' birthday.

Miranda potentially represents that overachiever career individual.  She does not believe that there is anything sexually attractive about herself and that she has to compete with all these gorgeous model types with their perfect bodies and effortless ways of getting men to fall all over them.  So she gives up the game as she accepts that she is not going to be as the masses are.  But secretly it's because really, she knows she will lose!

So she goes on to make herself this strong independent women that basically breaks men down and makes them feel inadequate.  Especially those that show interest in her.  She almost removed any limb she could find from poor Skipper.  And there he was simply trying with such sweet and good intentions to get her to loosen up and like him.

So for the Miranda types, Having Sex Like a Man i.e simply being able to be in the moment and enjoy it and not expect anything more afterwards is a little difficult.  Miranda types need to first get over themselves and work through all those walls and barriers that make it so difficult for the good men with good intentions to get through to them.

What is awesome though is that there are men like Skipper out there.  Men that see through Miranda's bullshit and see her light.  It is those kind of men that allow someone like Miranda to heal and take a step closer to loosening up and being herself more.

So the moral of the story is that sex is sex.  It is there to be enjoyed and it is about what you are comfortable with.  Some say it is better with feeling, some say it is better without feeling.  For me, it is about simply getting over yourself and really about being open to being experienced and experiencing someone.  How deep an experience it is depends on the depth of how much of yourself you allow to be available to be experienced.

I am just excited that the possibility exists of someone seeing your light despite the walls and barriers you put up for protection.  Now that gives me hope that good men exist!  Mwah!

One Moment Meditation : Day 3 : What To Do With The Body

Day 3 of the lesson series speaks to working with meditation positions.  The trick seems to be get as you can comfortable but to draw the line a position that does not push you into taking a nap!  It is pretty basic stuff but what I found helpful is that when you do the straight back thing and keeping the chin parallel to the ground, it increases your ability to relax and focus.


I found that particularly helpful when I was doing evening meditations after a loooooong day at the office.  I did not slip into a coma as a result and could focus on being in the moment and with my breathe.  I cannot say that there was anything earth shattering or profound from practicing this except that position has its place and do not underestimate how it impacts your ability to relax and focus at the same time.

Read more about the lesson by going to the link : Day 3 : What To Do With Your Body

I would love to hear from you on how being in a moment fully impacts your day to day lives.  Feel free to drop me a mail on crazeebeelivin@gmail.com  or inbox me on Facebook or Twitter.

10 Moments/Light Bulbs/Experiences I Loved

Happy Birthday to CrazeeBee!  Today I am one year older and wiser!  I hope!  July is my most favourite month of the year.  It is a big time of reflection for me mid way through the year.  It gives me an opportunity to reflect and re-group.  So based on life as it is now, below is the 10 moments/light bulbs/experiences that stood out thus far.

10 - You cannot change what you do not understand - We think it is easier to just let it go and ignore it and it will get better.  All that happens is that we encourage the message to get louder until we listen to what is wanting to be said.  Just look at where in life there is the most pain and frustration.  You are invited to understand it!

9 - I have a wall and I can understand it to break it down or leave it as it is to keep out good - Such a powerful view of life.  The more we step closer to our bliss, the more we will see that we are truly the only ones that stand in our own way

8 - To Allow and Surrender does not mean that you have failed or that you inadequate - Big Lesson.  We are who we are with what we know.  No one is perfect! There is nothing wrong with asking for help to help us be better than where we currently are.

7 - When you allow someone to just be them, you open a beautiful way of seeing them - Allow yourself to see someone's soul.  You will be amazed at how you see their beauty after that.

6 - We are all trying our best with what we know and fear, so love each other as you would want to be loved - Simple yet powerful practice that one can trust and lean on.

5 - You can ask for help if you are willing to embrace the collective power around you - Much harder to practice in life.  Really an easier said than done for me.  But when this works, it is an amazing process to go with and be part of.

4 - Fair Exchange drives the foundation for awesome relationship - Expect that and it will appear.  There is a concept out there that what you give naturally heals and is of value to someone else and in turn what they give naturally heals and is of value to you.  How much fun is that kind of relationship!  Why not simply ask for one of those!

3 - You don't have to be perfect for a romantic relationship if you are open to learn and heal from it - Amen.  You are good enough just as you are right now to enjoy the best of a healing romantic relationship.

2 - It may not feel like it, but you have the power to change your thought and thus your experience - Another easier said than done.  But when one can get this right and I have managed to do this on most occasion in a week, it is amazing how things simply fall into place.

1 - Be open to understanding your values / stories /beliefs.  Know you have the power of choice and that you are defined by what you currently hold onto in terms of value / story / belief - Biggest lesson to date.  Once you start understanding this, the options and opportunities for empowered next steps and choices are limitless.


Please share your moments with me.  Mail me at crazeebeelivin@gmail.com

Rainbows

Rainbows are the most beautiful things to witness.  And they come about when one adds light to the storm equation.  First comes the storm and chaos and then the calm with a bright rainbow as light starts pouring into the situation.  This song sums it up best when it comes to weathering the storms in your life.

Be encouraged that  the storms in your are what they are.  Storms!  They are temporary and must pass.  It is when you allow light to shine into the darkness of your storms that you find the rainbow to follow to bliss.  So go with the storms because at the end of it you gain wisdom and more importantly trust in the fact that storms are temporary and that you responded to it and now have deeper understanding moving forward.

Here is to us shining light into our dark storms and finding the rainbow to bliss!

Mwah!