This was inspired by a discussion I was having with one of “my girls” the other night (legitimate girl! The types naturally blessed by God with girly assets and sexy ones when I think about it!). It was our ritual let’s catch up and share over some awesome red wine.
She shared and I had to pull out the “He’s just not that into you” card for us to get real with her particular situation. I loved it when that concept hit the scene from the Sex and the City series. Brilliant stuff from those writers! You are my heroes! Oprah was right! It was that good that all women need to put that book on their night stands! When in doubt about a man, read the book. I personally bought the book and must say it has made the world of difference to how I deal with being single and my undertaking of adventures with potential partners.
My sentiment when discovering this phrase was summed up beautifully by Miranda in that Sex and the City episode “If I had known this earlier, it would have saved me years of therapy!” Loved that!
So there I was feeling all proud of myself for getting one of my girls back on track to focusing on her life and not letting some unsure confusing man cause her unnecessary therapy or time pondering! But I did not bargain for the next day where I was called to put my talk in my walk. It was time for this meisie to strut her wisdom on the catwalk with the following scenario…………………..
Encounters of the “straight” man that flirts with a gay boy!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!! Experience number “I lost count” ....................
I mean what is that all about? Are they closets, testing the waters, cock teasers or generally ego maniacs!!!!!???????!!!!!!
I believe that I have had more than my fair share of the above species in my life. And will admit that it has been on the decrease, the older and wiser I get. I am figuring that whole “I am worth so much more” and “please, I do not have the energy for your BULLSHIT” has finally kicked in. Thank you Crazeebee for seeing the light!
But it is funny how friends you trust play a role in cementing certain beliefs that you carry around. So if you lucky, you have an honest reflection of where you are or if you unlucky a delusional view!
The same kind of delusional view that makes certain people audition for Idols (they make it such a painful experience to watch!) and then proudly say “I have talent, all my friends tell me that!” And I am left thinking: FIRE THOSE FRIENDS, THEY BULLSHITTING YOU!!! AARRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CANNOT SING!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for Randal/Simon for some reality check!
But digressing, anyhoooooooo……………my point continues……
Why do some of us get left with a MAYBE to the statement “He’s just not that into you”? It is either yes or no and never a maybe but for some the concept of maybe comes up way too often!
Is it the hopeless romantic people or the God syndrome that makes people believe that they will unlock that hidden love? Why are the criteria to get clear sooooo complex for some?
For me, flirting and moments of connection are all based on “that” feeling you get. It probably comes down to the trust yourself and your instincts and that your feeling about someone is real and is a sure bet!
What confuses some is their subtle statements that really do not leave one clear on what their intentions are, revealing their softer, vulnerable side when you alone and having moments of real sharing to be followed by being miles away at a later stage, even some that are not that subtle and get into wanting to understand what is on offer and then turn around with the sentiment of "Pity you don't have a vagina!" It can feel like a relationship with all the emotional and mental perks JUST NOT THE SEX / PHYSICAL INTIMACY! And that ladies and gentlemen, just ain’t good enough!
So what I know for sure at this point is that:
A man is a man and he makes a plan for what he really wants. There is no need for you to make it simple or difficult for him. All you really need to do is be yourself and let the rest take care of itself. If he wants something, he is going to make it happen. So while some agonise with maybe he is potentially into me, it really is NO! Because at the end of the day what is it that we all want?
To be loved for who we are just as we are. Not to be told, if only you were this, that or the other. It is having Mr Darcy rock up and say “I like you, just as you are” and when a man feels that inside him, he is making a plan.
So the bottom line, you order something on the menu, it comes to you half completed/done or not as promised, you are likely to send it back and demand it returned to you as specified. I guess that is how my mind sees this “straight” man who flirts with gay boys at this point.
NO THANK YOU! Try again when you know what you want……………!
All we really asked to do is enjoy the journey as it unfolds. I believe for me the real truth is the concept of being responsible for my own happiness and excitement in my life. The man is there to enhance it, teach us if there is something to learn but by no means define the path of our lives! With that in mind, here is to having fun with dating…………….moving along!
No comments:
Post a Comment