Song Crush : Discipline Fever!

I have a very strong attraction to Janet Jackson of late.  It further supports my prowl state of mind.  I re-discovered her Discipline Album from my collection.  It is a sexy album that puts it out there that men are welcome to partake in the deliciuousness of you! iI love how open it makes me feel, allowing me to step into my sexiness and putting it out there.  My favourite track is "Feedback".  All swag and seduction!!  Other cool tracks include: Luv, Rock With U, 2Nite (Played in Sex and the City Movie for Bigs and Carries engagement party) and So Much Beta, What's Ur Name.

I leave you with my favourite song on the Album for you to enjoy below :

"Strum me like a guitar, blow out my aplifier, when you hear some feedback, go on and take it higher"

Tit Bit : I am on the Prowl !

 I can feel that I am different inside lately when it comes to being open to meeting men.  There is a definite shift from Mr All Work No Play, to someone who is now curious, open to possibilities and getting out there to experience and be experienced.  When I had my moments to think about Recognising the Value  in me, I was brought back to that "epic" relationship I had a long, long time ago.  I kept coming back to thinking about the relationship, my ex boyfriend and how I was in that relationship.

I realised that I was pretty closed after I left that relationship.  Even the next guy that I tried to strike up something serious with after that.  I was just shut down on all fronts.  And shut down in the sense that in my second relationship, I tried to re-create what I had in my previous one.  And wow did I not take he time to understand how to open up again as I just got lost in my work.  And really it is only recently that I have started understanding how to open up again. 

I am open, more free flowing, back to making effort for myself and feeling sexy and more in touch with me!  I think that has been the biggest difference I feel.  There is enthusiasm and energy that is present of late which I am loving.  I was getting my hair done yesterday!  Yep, I needed to take care of some grey hairs (genetic in my family.  It starts at 21 years old!).  Got out all my magazines from the past few months that I did not get a chance to read biut had accumulated in my collection. 

I ended up reading about this women who at 45 started dating to find Mr Husband.  She ended up going through 125 dates just over 2 years before she met Mr Husband.  What I love about her insights is that she understood so much more about who she was through the process and what she was happy with became  crystal clear.  I was so excited for her as that is exactly the concept that gave birth to The Wiseman Chronicles for me.  I believe that I will end up with my Mr Husband but there is a journey of learning I need to go through before I get there. 

What also stuck with me is that at 45 she started this journey which takes a lot of courage but she imparted that no matter how old you are, being sexy and seeing as sexy is when people see how you love yourself! And that is what still challenges me.  But little shifts I say.


So I went out for drinks with some old pals last night.  It ended being the girls and me and then a whole host of guys joined us.  It ended up being such a great social night with some great men!  Yay!  So I am going with this feeling of prowling and let's see where this takes me . . . . . . . .

Tit Bit : How blocked / stuck are us Singletons?

With anything in life there is balance. Everything has two extremes on the spectrum and at any point you on a point on the continuum. Enter the subject of “singledom” , the world we single people in our 30’s live in and consider where it would be on the continuum for you! There are the definite pros and the cons. But recently I have been wondering about how blocked / stuck we singletons are in the world of singledom!??!?!?!?!


There have been subtle nudges over the past couple of days that have contributed to this question but for me the “aha moment” happened when one of my crushes asked me if I was looking for a roommate as he was looking for a place to stay. Straight hot man (knowing that I think this of him) asking me if I was looking for a roommate!

In the 2 seconds it took for flashes of reasons why this was not ideal for me is what resulted in me sitting up and thinking of how stuck / blocked I was as a singleton. I have always wanted a sexy man in my place but for the first time I was very aware of where it all was blocked!

So a health warning to my fellow singletons, beware of the following blocks / areas you are stuck for allowing a space for that someone special to move into:

Singledom “the world” is never tested by experiences , reflections and contrasts! So it begs the question of how does one get a deeper understanding of themselves and their world relative to what is out there? For the singletons who chose to live alone, this is easily achieved by simply locking themselves away in their safe haven and getting lost in the singledom world by taking mind trips from the comforts of their couch, book, DVD, TV programme or Home delivery junk food. Indulging in the good old PJ day and just letting go of preening and having to get out and be something other than one without expectations from anything or anyone, not even from yourself. It probably has its place but too much of it and I feel life becomes way too theoretical / academic! You need to experience and feel as that is when you take note and become aware. Beware of the overkill of the cocooning effect. At some point, the butterfly must come out and take flight and experience the world!



The standard you set for yourself can be compromised and you can cheat yourself out of stepping up and just simply getting it done! I can bet that single people have more unfinished personal projects than our hooked up folk! Depending on how good your "tell myself the truth is", you can easily get yourself off the hook out of a number of stuff that you desire to get done but can de-priorities because really you only answer to you! It is that "what would you do when no-one is watching" scenario? And that is a constant reality for singletons who only have themselves to answer to. Dealing with the choice and consequence is a whole other discussion but for me, look at personal projects one takes on to better life, bring a bit of joy to your life or make a difference to the standard of living and see how well they have tracked ?!?!?! The freedom to change the priorities is something you get quite used to and your tomorrow can easily turn into a year or two later! There is always a way out and to get you off the hook!


Life becomes too practical and cynicism is your best ally! There is the danger that the “magic of life” factor can go into hibernation. You know that butterfly feeling or that positive energizing feeling when you doing something or being with someone. Men can become extravagant dildos that do not require battery operation. So dealing with them becomes outcomes based! Classification in seconds / minutes are known to happen. Good for Relationship vs Good for orgasm and then the relevant action plan is invoked. The world is seen a certain way and automatically what does not comply is judged and rejected! Negotiation is rare because if it is defective and non compliant it can be replaced and that includes people! Losses can be cut quickly and one can just move along swiftly to the a more compliant person, situation, way of seeing the world. The whole sense of faith, trust and letting it unfold is buried under the fastest route, the most effective route, the satisfaction guaranteed type outcome .  This is all academic before the actual commitment to jump in and feel your way through it!


There is the rut which brings safety and why change it as that means work! Things become set and predictable from a dinner schedule to a relax schedule to an escapism schedule. Trying something new potentially gets met with resistance. You find a way to most efficiently get what needs getting done to get the desired outcome. A new way means work and in kicks the avoidance tactics and being closed to another way even a more joyful way!


So yeah, just some thoughts I had racing through me when my Mr Crush asked me if he could move in with me and become my roommate! I am left feeling that no matter what, if you having fun and getting pure joy out whatever you doing, the above goes away as you move from survival mode to being who you really are. Secondly, when you live life by a standard that comes from purity, the adaptability is automatic. But until that state of Zen is achieved, the above warning signs!



xoxo

Song Crush : Celebrating the Good Life

In honour of celebrating over 100 posts.  One of my favourite J.Lo smooth songs.  I am feelin good and when I don't, this song reminds of how good life can be when your mind and heart make it so.  Can I  get some hands up in the air and heads bobbing!

Recognise the Value in You!

What are those moments where you truly value who you are?  I can safely say that I have truly felt it when I and no one else have that moment where you say to yourself.  I am worth it, I am good, I am great, I am adequate, I am enough!  The world simply disappears for a few seconds and all you have is that moment where you feel like a star radiating brightly with a beaming smile and a hot step as you go about life!

Then you forget!

I have often wondered what makes the difference to those people that have a life that starts working after some choices they make?  I know quite a few of them in my life today.  They have these shifts (mental, emotional or beliefs) that cause their self concept to take on a new dimension and to see the change in their lives is simply fascinating to witness.  (So thank to them for the inspiration they give me).  But from what I have witnessed, it really is a process of feeling your way through it.  It is engaging all of you in the process.  Your mind, heart, your senses and feeling your way to the result.  In the journey you learn the feeling and voice that gets you to a place.  But easier said than done!

I know one of the pillars of the journey is the ability to recognise the value within you! To truly appreciate you as you are now in the moment.  No accolades to your name, no achievements, no amazing man loving you, or people worshipping or looking up to you, no kids that instinctively just look to you as their "good" example! Simply you as you are in the moment right now! 

Can you simply recognise the value you hold simply by just sitting where you are now doing nothing but breathing?

For me, there is a definite journey to get to that place just described above.  And at some point in my life, I figured grand gestures would get me there.  So there I was being the avid student researching and doing all these spiritual workshops and playing  big by being on spiritual groups, stepping into pain and surrendering to some processes I would not have normally put myself through had I  not opened my mind. 

But then you forget!

I feel that those grand gestures have their place and they are important but for me now as I moved through pain, bliss and seeing some shifts within myself , I now see that it is the practical, making it real for your life stuff that counts.  Hence my blog.  My intention is to share that a everyday boy who happens to be gay, a budding leader for a huge corporate, a son, a  big brother to amazing siblings, a follower, a creature of desire, can change his life to be one he loves and enjoys by listening, being aware and making inspired choices!  That is the essence of what I want to communicate to all that are willing to read and take note!

Anyhoo!

Moving back to making this count for your life.  How do you recognise your value in your everyday life?  It comes from all angles in how your friends treat you, your kids, your parents, your colleagues, complete strangers which are all a reflection of the value rating you give yourself as that lays the platform for what you allow to happen and how it impacts you.  It is in the opportunities / challenges that lay before you and call for you to be present and ride the wave.  How you see the situation (opportunity/challenge), your internal mental chatter (what you actually saying) to yourself while you in it), your eventual choice and how you live with the consequence. They all reflect how you recognise your value!

Feel your way to recognising your value!    Love me!

Tit Bit : No Pressure Over Cappuccino

The Perfect Date! What would be it to experience the perfect date. I was listening to Alanis Morrisette the other day and heard the song which I have made the title of this post. The phrase below embodies what the perfect date means to me:

“You sample concepts like hors d’oerves, And you eat their questions for dessert, Is it just me or is it hot in here?” Is that just not a delicious sentence? Yum Yum!

You rock up at your date destination, you are running fashionably late as the extra preening all added up in extra time not bargained for. Your skin hugs your soul comfortably and you move with ease and safety. You feel settled as you walk! You smile as you see him looking at you with “that smile” he has in appreciating your beauty, your spirit and energy. He acknowledges you with the warmth in his eyes that you are welcomed to experience the deliciousness that is him and that he pleasantly anticipates experiencing the deliciousness in you.

It’s hello and so the bliss, warmth, safety and humor unfold as the night slips into a timeless heaven. The conversation flowing effortlessly, learning of each other has no boundaries, and you feel how you energise each other and move to a place where there is just no right or wrong, just a place of being with someone who you enjoy and who enjoys you.

Smile

Simply No pressure over cappuccino !!!!!!!!

PS : That was my lunch today was with my Mr Crush! That is how it feels when we together! Delicious indeed!

TV Moment Crush : Hot Hot Hot!

I love movies that have dancing in them.  I put the TV on the other night and Shall We Dance was playing.  This scene is H.O.T!  It is sensual and I love how the movements are intense.  Letting Go and surrendering to the beat of the music to move you!  Hot Hot Hot!!!!!

Song Crush : Just haven't met you yet

Nothing like a cutie to sing you a song that makes you know that good men do exist.  Michael is just adorable and sweet.  You want to just hold his hand and spend the time just enjoying  his energy!  The song is on my mind as it speaks to an experience I had this week with a great guy.  I have this crush on him and he is like soooooooooo adorable.  But if I was ever going to do something with him, I would like it to be special as he is that kind of guy.  Special!  I know deep down that this Crush Guy is the guy i am working towards.  And yes I have my sh1t but each day I lay down a bit more to be lighter and greater for someone like him.  He said something to me in the week that made me felt like I was walking on water!  It was just sooooo sweet.  So this is dedicated to the guys that makes us feel special just by being who they are.  Amen!