The Cost of Guilt!

The concept of how much does the guilt I carry cost me made itself clear to me in a traffic jam. I had taken a few days off work to just get in touch with me without the work titles, the lifestyle etc I thought that I had given myself enough time to get to the airport and then bam! There it was! Traffic! I was pissed that I was going to have to take a later flight and would have to pay for another ticket. I was right, but what I was pleasantly surprised by was the discovery of the cost my guilt was causing me.


I knew that somehow I attracted this situation of being backed up in traffic and missing my flight. In the midst of my anger, I could see it. I was guilty for wanting a break away from the madness, leaving the ship to be steered by people who were busier than me, going on a lavish holiday which was all about me and being simply self indulgent!

Guilt is a weird feeling. It is drenched in shame, remorse and punishment! That violation of some moral code where you just end up feeling worthless. What is interesting is that to release guilt you have to be willing to release your judgment of what causes you to feel the shame! And judgment is merely a decision you have made on a subject. How wonderful that decisions stem from choice which mean freedom. So it is a willingness to choose a different decision that allows you to release guilt!

I have realized that as much as I am working on this whole attracting Wiseman Nos 7 into my life, that I have a fair share of guilt that I am carrying. I am ashamed of my “potbelly” that I have gained through choice of food to let grow out of control! I was ashamed that I demanded a man with the perfect body when I was nowhere near in that arena in terms of my body. It was when I was willing to say to myself that I was still worth loving with my potbelly that I felt a shift in the guilt I was feeling. The more I was willing to choose to release the judgment that a potbelly equaled not worthy of love, the more I could feel that guilt washing away. I have also realized that I am carrying quite a bit of guilt around my prosperity, my work success and even what I desire for myself. So I am willing to start working on releasing that.

I see now how carrying guilt is a result of how we hold a subject in judgment and as long as we choose to keep that judgment in place, the more we accumulate the cost of carrying that guilt. My guilt for being overweight costs me the ability to share an amazing bond with an amazing man. My guilt for my blessed, prosperous life versus some of the people I love costs me my freedom to truly enjoy my prosperity through lack of time and taking on the burden other’s consequences of their choices. My guilt for wanting to create value beyond the mediocre in my work costs me my trust and faith in others doing their best, so I end up having to overcompensate for what they lack!

What is the cost of the guilt you carry? Are you willing to continue bearing the returns of what you hold onto dearly in terms of judgment?

1)Figure out what bothers you in life 2) Is there guilt or shame or remorse? 3) What judgment do you have on the subject? 4) Are you willing to release it and choose differently to allow the guilt to dissolve . . . . .

Tit Bit : An Invitation to Meet it and be!

So I was at Spiritual Circle the other night and got introduced to the ideas of a famous spiritual leader in the US.  I cannot remember her name so apologies.  But listening to one of her talks, where most of what she said flew over my head as it was just too higher grade for me, I did latch onto the following concept when it comes to the unravelling our suffering:

Take up the invitation to meet it!

So from pain, fear and challenge, take it as an invitation to meet whatever is beneath it.  Have the courage to simply meet it.  Not classify it, fix it, get a solution for it, simply meeting it and being!  I have no idea what this means yet but I do know that it is something worth giving a try!

Tit Bit : The Boy in the Museum!

This morning was another good morning spent with the current Wiseman Nos 7 in my life.  He decided to sum up my current love life situation in the following metaphor.  You are like the boy in the museum.  You looking but your are not getting involved and touching!  You are following the rules!

I was kinda left speechless as on some level I was thinking that he might have a point.  But on the other hand, I do see how it speaks to participating and get involved versus being the "safe" observer.  It is about taking a risk and trusting whatever will happen as a result of that.

So here is to taking a risk and not just looking ;)

Tit Bit : Willingness to LOVE those body parts you hate so much?

Have you ever taken the time to marvel at the intelligence that exists in all parts of our body.  I am amazed by how powerful the body is with how it operates.  There is a profoundness when you look beyond the obvious in terms of what you see.  So I have started looking at what it means to love every part of your body and getting to a point of being comfortable in your own skin.  How wonderful would it be for us being so comfortable in our skin and being at ease with life.

So if you scanned your body right now, where does the charge sit that makes you want to hide, get sick or simply wish that the body part was better or even perfect! 

I know it is one of my spiritual practices, to love something that I do not deem to be perfect.  And for me that is the power of loving the self.  Looking at the picture in this post and seeing a beauty in it and loving it without cost! 

So today I extend the same invitation to you that I have extended to myself.  An invite to merely be willing to embrace the concept of loving those bodyparts we hate.  Just be willing and allow yourself permission to  just love it the way it is.  I am curious to see what will bubble up from that . . . . . . . . . .

Acceptance without Cost!

I am really seeing the whole concept of what you give out you get back! And how fascinating is it that I am seeing it in the little things in life. Being aware has its benefits. It is true for me that the deep beliefs we carry are available for us to understand in the physical manifestations of experiences or situations we find ourselves in our lives. By shining some light on even what we deem the smallest things, some powerful insights can come of it!


I am discovering the whole concept of Accepting without Cost! This can be witnessed in so much in your life. How you are in traffic with your fellow drivers on the road? How do you treat your peers at work from what you say to them, behind their backs or what you really think and what you do when you deal with them! How do you speak to your team, those below the ranks to you! How do you really feel and what you share to make their job easier or clearer to them? From the boy that approaches you and you can see he is interested and what really goes through your mind in terms of checklist ticks before you decide he is worth your time. And this all happens in just seconds by the way!

And you can take this broader. What and who do you treat like idiots, with disgust or turn your nose up to? The list is endless but there is something to be said about what you feel about it and how it relates to your criteria for accepting that someone/something is of value!

I have had the greatest moment when I was in the depth of my frustration of why I am not feeling valued and loved with all this spiritual work that I am doing! But I have discovered the possibility of getting back what I give out! When I started looking at how I was valuing what was around me in how I treated various groups of people in my life, my family and even how I valued myself, it became clear!

There were current situations in my life draped with being accepted under a certain set of criteria. A cost I had to bear to get the reward of acceptance. And going deeper, I realized that there is certainly cost that others in my life have to bear to get my acceptance. From the driver on the road that I wish was not given a license, to the cashier at the supermarket that gets my intimidation because she cannot answer my questions, to how treat my team and the ones I love.

What COST must the world and others incur to get your ACCEPTANCE of their VALUE? It would be interesting to see how it relates to the cost you bear to get the Acceptance of your Value . . . . . . . .