So we are into season 2 of Sex and the City. Carrie and Big have broken up but she and her friends are still up to their adventures. In this episode, Miranda gets extremely upset with the rest of the girls. They were too man obsessed for her liking and she was tired of giving men so much power. We then find out about Erik, the guy that broke her heart into a million pieces and found happiness with the women he left her for and that was still going strong. There it was, Miranda had that guy that no one could compare to and that was the greatest love she ever had experienced.
We have had those amazing men in our lives. Some of us have actually ended up marrying them. But some of us don't marry that prince! We meet that guy and somehow he gets into the heart of us and under our skin. Life takes on a whole new meaning and you know! You know that you will never be the same! It is like some part of comes alive and you are taken to a new level of being, of loving and feeling. You go deeper into a space where you feel like the world is just so amazing and it is all because of knowing and loving him and being loved by him.
And then he leaves you!
For whatever reason, he leaves you. And you left not knowing how something so amazing, so special, so out of this world can end? How could he walk away from that? But it does happen. The "man of your dreams" can walk away and find that mind shattering love partnership with someone else or simply put without you. Yes it does happen.
For me, the first thing to know and make your way back to believing is that you were never destroyed! And that you can never be destroyed. Yes, you shared deeply with someone and you shed your protective layers and allowed yourself to embrace that side of you that knew love and happiness. You let your guard down and let him in to enjoy that side of you that shows you just how special and lovable you really are. I do believe that we confuse the messenger with the message. We are lovable and worth it. That is the message. Men come along and they can make us see that when they love us for us. But they are human and not perfect at always making us feel good. It is not their core function or desire and they cannot sustain making us perfectly happy!
So yes, he hurt you and yes you feel that you can never share that deeply with another man. But you can. All you need to do is take that first step and embrace that you are lovable as you are. And you also need to realise that you are who you are and that you can share that with more men in the future if you allow it. When you realise that you can hold on and never break your spirit while loving someone else, then sharing deeply with them, does not take away from you.
So no. A man can never destroy you. Yes, he can hurt you and he can disappoint you. But throughout this all, you are in charge of how you feel and what you choose to be happy. You may not see it when you in the thick of loving him or hating him but you have the choice. And baby, maybe just start by embracing that you are lovable no matter what and can never be broken!
Mwah
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