CrazeeBee Reflections

After been out of work circulation due to illness the week before, slowly but surely been trying to get back into it in the work productive mode this past week.  A 4 day work week was hectic as they all are.  Some reflections :

• Highs - I had moments of clarity when it came to some walls I put up that no longer serve me.  I also had some moments of clarity around my relationship with men and how to move forward on certain stories I tell myself.  The high for me is now having clarity to create a different way of being for myself which opens new doors to experience.  Exciting!
• Lows - My eating has been pretty indulgent and overdone this past week. Have been rather overdoing the comfort eating thing.  So definitely unbalanced in some area that I am not aware of and eating my feelings away! Sigh!
• Most proud of me starting to constructively use what I perceive as negative feedback to unpack it for it's merit and move forward constructively rather than brew unnecessarily on it
• Most grateful for my home and the comforts / pleasures my life is blessed with.  I can do and be so much in my life today and it is truly a very powerful and blessed place to be.  Thank You God!
• You must try the food from Thava Indian Restaurant.  Simply divine!  Check them out at www.thava.co.za 
• Been loving Ugly Betty re-runs (Major Daniel Meade Crushing), Suits (Those mean are so intellectual - Yum!) and champagne!

Hugz Darlins

A Trip Down Your Ocean Drive - 5 things

We have all been there.  We go though what seems an eternity of struggle, chaos, frustration and pain! Then one day, it is gone.  We are lighter, grateful and everything is just great.  Life has its ups and downs and yes, no matter who we are, we must have our downs and the ups.  It is all temporary but part of living this life. This week, it is all about celebrating the ups after a winter.  Some thoughts :

1. It is amazing when you realise the growth, increased awareness and wisdom that now reside within you
2. Your perspective broadens and you have a more balanced view of the situation and future situations like that 
3. You have your power back and vibrating at its best within you.  That is simply glorious!
4. I particularly love that sense you have of limitless possibilities and that anything can be done
5. A up is just as temporary as a down.  So soak it up and be in the moment as these get you through the winters.  That knowing of what it feels like and something to look forward to

Hugz

Ocean Drive

The storm does settle.  It must! That is a fact of life.  After winter, spring is a reality.  It must! That is the design of life.  So this too shall pass whatever that is right now in your life.  Know that nothing ever lasts and that you go with the flow and take in what you need to.  Celebrate that after all your sh1tstorms or tough times that you do emerge wiser, stronger and more aware.  It is worth celebrating and counting your blessings!  Honour that this week.  Hugz

All About CrazeeNess

This past week has been one where I have been really sick.  It all just caught up with me in the end.  Somehow, getting this sick got me thinking about quite a bit of stuff in life.  I also got a chance to slow down which was most welcome.  Some thoughts :

• Highs - Getting to rest and just giving my mind and body a chance to heal itself.  Quite a cool process just surrendering and letting your body do the rest.  Life got perspective and that was awesome
• Lows - Feeling really really bad.  Whatever bug that was, it was not a good one
• Most proud of me finally getting into a reading rhythm.  Soaking up knowledge is so good for the brain and soul
• Most grateful for my health!  I am reminded how good health allows you to live your best life.  It is a true blessing
• You must try a red cappuccino.  Had one today and it was marvelous.  It is the cappuccino version but all with rooibos. I was pleasantly surprised
• Been loving and fully addicted to Mango!  I just cannot seem to get enough of it

Hugz Darlins

Do You! Love You!

Happy Weekend honeyz.  If you in South Africa, happy loooooong weekend.  Remember to do you and love you! Hugz

When You Take Sex Out The Equation

Would you believe me if I said that every sexual encounter you have gone through has the potential to teach you so much if you willing to open up to the wisdom it has.  If you had to remove sex out the equation and simply look at the situation, you will be amazed with what comes out of that.  You can start to see how you could be blocked in your communication in actually asking for what you want and meaning it.  You can understand what it means to trust and be trusted.  So I encourage you to take sex out the equation and look at the situation from a different angle.  The tale that is told will astonish even you :)

Making Love - 5 Things

This is make love to yourself week.  So hopefully I can inspire some ideas to start giving to yourself.  Some CrazeeBee suggestions :

1. Long hot baths with good scents, amazing body scrubs and body butter.  Meditative music is a must.  I have found when you in that relaxed state, your mind taps into the unconscious and you will be amazed what comes up in that space.  And you feel so amazing from head to toe after you are done applying the body butter ;)
2. Chakra balancing is an awesome gift to yourself.  I have been taught a few simple chakra balance techniques.  I cannot really explain what happens inside you but there definately is an energy shift and you connect on so many levels and I must say you do feel a so beautiful
3. Sacrad Space and Time is a ritual we all must practice.  In this busy life, when you make a consciousness effort to shut the world out and spend time in a warm and safe space with you, you open a space to love you.  Learn to block out some sacrad time for just me, myself and I!
4. The eyes of love you will need to start loving you and your body as it is. Some cannot bare the sight of their body, but the first step is to look and feel the disgust and hatred.  And then once you really get into the feeling of it, you get to a point of choice to be willing to wrap that up in pink and start loving it the way it is today.  It takes practice!
5. Good Music is the way to go to feel deeply and be in the moment.  Music with no words is great as it helps to let go and not get attached into one train of thought

Deliciously Sexy!

Darlins!  This week is all about feeling sexy.  There is nothing more awesome that feeling sexy and going with it.  It's naughty, it's light and it's delicious. Here is wishing you a sexy week.  Work it!

All About Crazee-ness

Wow! So change and chaos are the theme of this week past.  What an emotionally challenging week this has been.  And the more open you are in life the more you feel! Shoo! Take a look :

• Highs - The concept of balance hit home with that it only is a reality when you fully in the moment of now.  I went big for a spring party I attended last weekend and boy was it awesome to just throw caution to the wind and indulge in just letting go.  Important that we get more of those in our lives.  Balance the responsibility with freedom must be a way of life!
• Lows - In my workspace, all my hard work came crashing down in one of my biggest disappointments for this year so far.  I am embarrassed, hurt and angry!  But as much as my emotions are raging and mind racing, something is different.  I am wide awake and present and I see that the best learning I could ever ask for is in the state I am in currently.  Feels crap but also it is rather fascinating!
• Most proud of my instincts.  Whether I listened to them or not, they were spot on the past few weeks!
• Most grateful for all the wisdom I have gathered along the way.  Amazing how it comes together when you in that place of questioning, having faith issues and simply figuring out what the story is that you want to buy into . . . . . . . . . 
• You must try pilates with a sizzling hunk of a trainer ;) They have to ensure that you positioned correctly to get the maximum benefit from the exercise, so they need to get a little physical with you at times.  And having a hot trainer do that is always welcome ;) My artists impression below of the hunk trainer I got to work with this week.  As painful as the exercises were, I loved it anyway!
• Been loving all things French lately from the accent, to Moet (the champagne), to songs sung in French to the French man.  Yum Yum Yum.  Also, the artist impression pic below is of a French Rugby player that is based in South Africa.  Double Yum!

Hugz Darlins

Relationships Are Energy Exchange! What Are You Giving?

I have been working with a Guru trying to understand the whole Tantra thing deeper.  The one conversation we had really got me thinking and I thought I would share :)  He spoke about relationships and how they are about energy exchange.  It is about giving and receiving energy.

A very interesting exercise he asked me to do which I strongly suggest you all try is the following.  Take a page and divide it into 2 sides.  One side is about what you want to give to a partner and the other side is about what you want to receive from a partner.  You probably only really want to take note when you do this for the 3rd time.

What has been fascinating for me through this process is understanding what you truly want to give someone else when you with them.  We tend to build walls to protect ourselves and it puts us in a position to keep on taking from someone.  Also, the less we know about who we are and what makes us happy, how can we know what we are able to give.  I mean is it not the safest place to learn than with yourself?  How to give to yourself, how to nurture yourself, how to make you happy!  If you can't try that with yourself, how would you be able to give to another.

What  has been so profound to discover, is that the more you get comfortable with giving, the more you get secure in what you about and what you offer that is wholesome and good.  Go on, figure it out!

Acknowledge The Ugly Bits!

It is no use ignoring that what disgusts you, scares you or annoys you.  The way I know life, the more you ignore, the more extravagent it will get in order to get your attention.  Life starts off gentle with its lessons and gets louder the more you ignore it! So maybe it pays to embrace the ugly and hear what it has to say.  The result will surprise you.  Live with light and joy this weekend.  Hugz

Loving Yourself - 5 Things

Loving yourself! Always easier to say than actually do.  And wow is it even easier when someone loves you despite all your self hatred.  You can get used to someone else making you feel better about who you are.  But the truth no matter how much we want to deny it is that when you can look at yourself warts and all and say, I love you for who you are, then the fun begins in your life to truly enjoy the blessings life has to offer. No getting away from that my Darlins!  Some things I have noticed :

1. No matter how many big gestures and ends of the earth adventures someone goes to to make you happy, it will never really make you happy if it ain't aligned to what you believe about yourself. So the logical place is to start with what you believe about your lovability
2. Be willing to truly see who you are warts and all.  And especially the warts.  Embrace the disgust, the hate, the fear, whatever it is that you do not want to feel.  Behind that feeling is the truth that allows you to step forward to start loving who you are
3. You cannot make love in armor!  So whatever walls you have or armor stops you from truly feeling loved and giving love.  Start lovingly looking at breaking down that wall and letting that special light shine
4. You have the power and choice to love yourself!  It does seem impossible but you do.  It can start with something as simple as being willing to consider the idea of what it would be like to simply give yourself a hug with love.  Have a weekly ritual where you spoil just you and forget the world.  Make love with yourself through hot baths, facials, luxurious moisturizing, loving touch etc.  Learn to love you in that way!
5. Visualise yourself soaked and bathed in soft, light pink light.  Cocoon yourself in it and imagine it soaking through and filing you.  Pink is the colour of unconditional love.  Visually bathing in it helps!

Call Me Maybe

The dating scene these days can be very interesting for those in their 30's and looking to find love.  There is the whole put it out there and then go with the opportunities as they come vibe.  But recently, I realised that what we think, what we say and what we do don't always link up.  It opens a whole new view of how we communicate with the world with what we really want.  But there is nothing but learning about it as you go along.

This week goes to all the singletons in their 30's !  Especially my fellow gay men.  Some of us are big on this NSA thing of which a select few really mean it, some are keen to be friends and confuse that with sex and some of us just want to connect and go about it in the wrong places.

Here is to meeting someone, getting that awesome feeling inside and just going with the next step.  The more and more this life unfolds for me, the more I see how being clear with what you really want opens the door to explore that on a real basis.  Here is to linking up what we think, feel, say and act!

All About CrazeeBee

What a week the first week of September has been.  Very happy that my blog is back in action.  I hope I do get the time to pour my love and voice into this going forward like I used to.  Life has been as follows :

• Highs - I realised that I am beginning to live the reality of an intention I set out 3 years ago.  To help shape and drive transformation in whatever I do.  My career and personal passions are beginning to come together in such a way to allow me to shape it and drive out a service.  I am sooooo grateful and hopefully I will do it justice and be a vehicle for positive change!
• Lows - I am working a bit toooooo hard.  But I am beginning to see where I am blocked on my communication.  What I think / feel to what I say to what people hear are not aligned.  I have some work to unravel this.  But is causing me taking on work for other people :(
• Most proud of my weight loss eating food I love!  Been 5 weeks and I am 4 kgs lighter.  Just another 9 kgs to go.  Going to be interesting with the next set of kgs to drop
• Most grateful for all the support I get from the universe.  Absolutely amazed by all the blessings in my life to date and how things are just falling into place
• You must try Ostrich. Been preferring it over beef these days and it goes well with everything
• Been loving Prince Harry lately. I think I have a crush on him.  It is the ginger hair ;)

Hugz Darlins

Friday Inspiration : Love Starts With You

Whether we like to admit it or not, Love does start inside.  When you decide to love yourself and treat yourself with kindness and gentleness, the rest of the pieces of your life connect into that and it starts flowing throughout.  We all chase this fantasy that it lies outside us and we keep looking and working hard to get it from an external source.  May you be inspired to start with you and the first step is simply allowing yourself to be yourself and you being ok with that.

Happy weekend! Hugz

Guilt Is A Fearful Response To Wanting Forgiveness!

To feel guilty is really about acknowledging that something is not right on the inside with how you behaved, a choice you made, the way you treated someone or how someone felt about a decision you made or how you acted.  It is a twisted way of asking yourself for forgiveness.  I got this from reading an article by Gary Zukav.  It really resonated with me.  He described guilt as a fearful response from one's personality.

I took away that it is a fearful response to asking for forgiveness.  To understand that you could have made a better choice, behaved better or been more in touch with your best rather than your insecure side.  So the trick is to forgive yourself and know that the power is in the now for you to make a better choice in this moment.

That has been the greatest realisation for me.  That no matter what you feel and how bad you feel, it does not help punishing yourself with more destructive behaviour or playing suffer the martyr!  There is a power within you to make better choices and move forward better and stronger that you are now.  And you have access to that! So why not embrace it and move forward better than before?

So go for the great and know that your best is within you.  It is a matter of you accessing it!  Read more of Gary had to say : Gary Zukav - 5 Things You Can Learn From Guilt

A Hopeless Situation Is Not So Hopeless - 5 Things I Have Learnt

1. There is always power of choice.  That means the next moment is up to you how you respond and move forward.  It may even be to choose to be grateful for the next 2 minutes and take it from there
2. As difficult and bullshitty as this sounds, it is true.  There is a lesson but the lesson is in the perspective or changing of position of how you see the situation.  In most cases it is a clue for you to understand what you need to integrate into your wisdom volt going forward
3. It is a spiral of experiences. Which means the experience never goes away.  It will keep coming back.  What does change is the level of consciousness you have to deal with it that makes it no longer a big deal provided you have integrated the wisdom.  That in itself is a huge miracle when your consciousness / perspective grows
4. Open yourself to inspiration i.e. allowing spirit to speak to you.  For some it is writing it out and then the AHA comes.  For some it is going for a walk and for some it is music.  Find your mechanism that allows you to open up your awareness to receive messages
5. Release the negative energy!  I have found this to be the most powerful for me.  I have discovered toning as a practice which I will share later this week in the CrazeeBee Love section.  But get in touch with the frequency of the hopeless feeling and release it and then move yourself to a much more positive frequency.  It does wonders with what unfolds for you

You Can Find Love Anywhere

Hello Again!!!

It has been so long since I posted.  I guess I got wrapped up in the change that was happening in my life.  So much was happening and transforming and my voice somehow got silenced in this or retreated.  I needed to be aware and listen to what was unfolding.  I did not have much to say nor much to share, simply absorbing and dealing with what was being thrown at me.  So after some time in my cocoon, I am beginning to find my voice again.  So I hope life has been good to you and blessings have been abundant.

September is spring month and with it new birth and new beginnings.  I have been realising more and more how much love there is out there! It is a matter of seeing it!  So this week, I wish you all the ability to find and see love in any situation you find yourself in.  A change of perspective is a true miracle that you can give yourself.  Be willing to surrender your fear, guilt and resistance and embrace that there is a higher view or perspective to what you seeing in your current situation.  Simply ask and allow for that new perspective.  Happy miracles!  Hugz