It cannot be so hard to imagine . . . . . . . . . .
There are the kids that take ownership for their parents’ issues. Enter the case of the impact divorce has on kids. There are the teenagers who won that their differences is deserving of ridicule and judgement, so they own hating themselves as them being different causes the conflict! You see in the workplace where you live off the reputation of your company, your team and the non performers get carried by those who won the success of the team. It is in relationships, where the success of the relationship is owned by one partner that becomes controlling, setting expectations for the couple to live up to and becomes quite a challenge to walk away from as the successful outcome is owned and has to be fixed. It is in the relationship with our parents. Some parents feel need to protect and live their kids’ lives well into their kids’ adult life. Some kids take on the role of parent and feel the need to direct the way their parents should be living . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So I have been asking myself what causes such a pure intention of ownership to be misused or twisted to allow for the above? Is an arrogance that we can do it all and we are all knowing? Is it delusion that we play such a pivotal role in someone’s life or the world as it is? I suspect that it has something to do with getting off the path of what we are! I am reminded of this prayer . . . .
“Lord, grant me the Strength to accept that the things I cannot change. The Courage to change the things I can. And the Wisdom to know the difference. . . . . . “
The prayer strongly suggests that to know the lines of Responsibility also means to allow for your sanity and peace of mind. I believe that Stephen Covey was the first person to introduce me to the concept of responsibility. I learnt this valuable lesson at 23 years old. The concept of the Circle of Control versus the Circle of Influence. The bottom line, if you worrying about what is in the Circle of Influence, you going to go insane as you cannot control that in anyway due to the fundamental principle of free will!
I am left thinking that it comes down to faith in the process! That for every choice there is a consequence. We can try and let the people we care about see the consequences for their choices as we see it. They have the right to agree or disagree with us. But at the end of the day, the choice is still up to them and they face the consequence. Also, let’s not forget how we have come to appreciate, to know wisdom from those lessons learnt. It came from the other side of the pendulum. And by choice we swung the other way to joy. Stepping into the Circle of Influence also potentially cannot help the person learn what they need to. Something rather teach a man how to fish versus fishing for him! (some wise parables from the Bible)
I realize that we can be grateful and visualize and try our best to manifest the great in our lives. It implies a faith and trust in the Universe / God lovingly doing the necessary to bring you what you need when you need it! How contradictory is it that you are able to place faith in God for your life and its bliss but not for another’s life? Taking responsibility for someone’s life and choices really does say “I do not trust in the process” so let me get in there and take control of getting them what is good for them! It seems like such a block to a person that does such great work on themselves but rescues the rest of the world by living its life for it!
So with that I look to going back to basics. What is under my control versus what is in my influence! That for a choice there is a consequence that applies to all of us who possess free will. That I invest love and energy into the wisdom to tell the difference between control versus influence. And then it is about having a little faith in people and faith in the process of life.
Go well and strong . . . . . . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment