A Fresh Start is always available . . . . . . .

For as long as I can remember, I have loved newness and novelty. I remember being a little kid unable to sleep the night before the first day of school. I loved the idea of possibilities, grabbing new opportunities and doing my best academically. I love it when it is time to get a new journal. It is fresh and unwritten and the beauty is that I am able to put anything I want on that page that makes life real for me. Even once I have one, the fact that I can turn over a page and start fresh on a blank page is power to me! How awesome is that! I love Monday mornings and the start of a new month. All reminders that the next step is all that counts!

It is especially this time of year that I am bubbling with excitement. A new year, a fresh start and a way to take stock, consolidate and move forward. I love the process. For me, that is the only time my past is useful and the time I feel is worth looking back on. I have been filled with nostalgia lately and been very drawn to the time in my life when my world took a 180 degree turn.

My first day during my first year at university!

I remember how I felt the world was at my feet and that all possibilities were available to me to take and make a reality in my life. It was my desire to feel that again, that I found myself back at the university during my holiday in Cape Town South Africa.

What I believe is that every moment is a moment of power! A fresh start is always available to you when you choose it to be. That gets me very excited. That I have the power to change my day, the next hour and ultimately my experience of anything that finds itself in my space. There is wonder and beauty and it all resides in the eye of the beholder.

I do tend to forget that when weighed down with outcomes from work, living live and making it through any day, week or month. Being weighed down with pain / baggage also makes the concept of changing your reality foreign.

One of the key learnings I have taken away from this year is that all is a function of me! I am the one that must allow, take risks and make the decision. I am the one that either distances myself or brings myself closer to my bliss. I have taken some leaps in understanding the shame and hatred that I carried and have worked towards releasing that. The true trick was to really step into it and experience it and then feeling the freedom.

I have seen how when I change my perspective, how my world around me changes. I have made leaps in my professional space and I see how it is coming together all because I have chosen to be authentic with my dealings with my peers, my leaders, my team and myself. I have made some scary decisions (my perspective) but knowing at my core it is necessary for the next step in my growth.

I understand that on the personal front and life outside my work, that more work is needed. There are layers of pain to step into and experience. So far I take it one step at a time and let the healing take its course. But I live with hope as my intent to give permission / allow is growing by the day in this space.

So as 2009 is in sunset and 2010 is in sunrise know that a Fresh Start is always available to you. Resolutions may come and go, ups and downs will be had, laughter and tears are there as well! But through it all, there is choice to live the next moment better than the one you're currently in. So why not just do it . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you . . . .

Rather than hold onto a broken dream, I'll just hold onto love . . . . .
So don't hold on too tight cause I'm gonna make it without you . . . .




The above are rather powerful words for me. In most cases, people would think that whoever quoted that has a broken heart! That is one way to look at it!

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw those words. My realisation was that life is full of possibilities and that as we move through our respective paths we experience and from our experience we get clear on what we desire. So why focus on the lost dream or bad experience? Why not focus on the clarity and creating new experiences from that clarity?

Being that desire is ever expanding, we are always in a position of power wherever we find ourselves at any given time.

As we experience bliss, joy or love we ultimately come into gratitude which is the essence of the law of attraction that creates more in our lives. As we continue to experience, our standpoint from which desire is different to that of yesterday's. It is more and that means our desire is expanded and what we desire to experience is different from what we wanted yesterday. As we experience the sh1t in our lives, we are still at the standpoint of what we desire to have. Great news is that we get clearer on what we want even it is nasty.

That is the bottom line here.!

No matter what we experience (good or bad) we get to a position of clarity of what we desire. That is awesome as the next step is to allow it to become apart of our experience.

What I know for sure is this!

When I was on the first leg of my holiday in amazing Cape Town South Africa, I found myself drawn to the University where I studied. As I stood taking in the beauty of that universityand its surroundings, I could look back and smile. I remember the little boy that stepped into that world. From all that he carried, held onto and knew to the man he is today, I can only be grateful to God/Universe/Higher Power that I had been guarded, inspired and guided into the choices and life I have to date. With every past experience I could see how clearer I got on what I truly desired and how it came about when I allowed it into my life.

For this Christmas, my prayer for you all is to realise that you are always in a position of power as you are blessed with a soul, desire, intuition and choice! So what if a dream is shattered or broken along the way. Did not reach my goal weight, have an expanding waste line, missed that promotion or still single after sooooooo long? So fucken what????????

Rather than hold onto a broken dream, hold onto love instead! With openness, creativity, listening to your soul and choice, you will always find a way to make it and move forward! We just that blessed when we allow it, life is truly filled with limitless possibilities. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Go forth and experience! Revel in it, feel it and simply be aware! You at any point can take stock of your standpoint on what you desire. The fun begins when you start understanding that you can allow the reality of your true desires . . . . . . . .

Blessings and happy festive season xoxoxo


Pictire taken by Crazeebee. The grand hall of the university where CB graduated!

A tribute to MASCULINITY

Without You

Have I been blind?

For the first time in my life I feel I've opened up my eyes

Since you've arrived like an angel from the sky

I'm on a spiritual high

So don't you ever go away

I could never face

Losing you would kill my faith

In a higher place

What kind of world

Would it be without you

I couldn't breathe without you here

What kind of world

Would I see without you

I can't dream without you here

Beautiful boy

How on earth did I do something worth deserving you?

My better half

How I cherish through and through every part of you

I do

Loving you's made me whole

Now I belong

I found my heart

Promise me we'll always stay

The way we are today

What kind of world

Would it be without you

I couldn't breathe without you here

What kind of world

Would I see without you

I can't dream without you here

I can't ever imagine

If this never would happened

I thank God everyday

Almost lost you forever

But I always remember

That you're my saving grace

by Christina Aguilera (Back to Basics)

Maybe I could have some FAITH in LOVE!

Amongst all the craziness this week, the above phrase has been a constant in my head. This was really anchored when I was listening to Marianne Williamson about making miracles happen. She spoke about that in any situation one should always focus on the following concept:

"How am I thinking? Who I am being?"

The bottom line is that we on this journey of becoming the Human Being we intending to be! You do not perceive your best interests as well as God does! We are not perfect and we do not have a FULL view of the situation we in. Our soul does, God does so thus, would it not make sense to enter a situation with an open mind, "empty bowl" and letting it be filled with what the situation brings?????

I loved this when I was listening to it. It re-enforces the concept of "Just in Time" for me. You get what you need at the right time for what the experience calls for. That has been a shift for me lately. I was very much on a tangent of why me? WTF now? What am I doing that is attracting this? Do I really have to?

But lately it has been a question of: OK what is the gem here? I trust in JIT, I have what I need so let me just be present and experience what I need to! I open my mind to let it be filled with what the situation/experience allows me to fill it with!

When we tell ourselves, I allow the wisdom, I allow myself to step up to what this calls for, I got the support around me. You will be amazed at what will unfold for you take you forward.

Beauty and the Beast

"Tale as old as time, True as it can be, Barely even friends, Then somebody bends unexpectedly..............

Just a little change, Small to say the least, Both a little scared, Neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast!"

I love this song from the Beauty and the Beast Feature film. The world discovered Celine Dion (and all know that meise went on to rule the charts) but more than that, the message within this story holds so much I can relate to my life. There you had the Beast that craved and needed love to transform. And by exposing who he was and allowing himself to love and be loved, he transformed into a prince. His true beauty became a reality when he FELT!

I have recently been through an experience where I was given the opportunity to FEEL a spectrum of emotions! Truly FEEL! It was scary and intoxicating at the same time. Feeling shame which spiralled into anger which spiralled into hatred which then dissolved! And all because I made a choice to step into it and not run to the safety of POSITIVE THINKING to drown out the ugliness!

Again, very consistent with the theme I believe we need to embrace more in life. Make space for the great and it will naturally appear as it is inherent within all of us. I have learnt that we all have parts within us where the Beast dwells, lurks and makes itself known in the most inopportune times in our lives. It is craving freedom to be expressed and be have its presence felt!

With all this spiritual stuff that I have been reading about and practising. How to stay positive, thinking of the outcome you most desire and visualizing the way life should be are a theme. What I have seen lately is that without the body and its intelligence in the equation, don't expect much manifestation to happen. The body has to buy into what you putting out there as once that is all aligned, there is the reality!

I mean can I really be the world's fastest runner if I so visualise it? No, I do not believe that it is possible for me to be that as my body does not buy into it and vibrate that in every cell that is within me!

So today, I write about my experience of stepping into hatred and shame that I carried in my body. I gave permission to feel it, truly feel it and have it expressed! To my surprise, when all was done, felt and expressed, thrown up, there was a space! Gratefully, in flowed love and peace for myself and the appreciation and love for the parts of my body I sent into exile because of what I carried.

So find your ways to express your shame, fear, anger, hatred and set the emotion free by feeling it! Make that space to invite love, lightness and bliss into. In the wilderness where I had this experience, I was free to scream and inflict fierce force by smacking water to nothingness! I am still figuring out safe ways to do that in my day to day life. Willl keep you posted.

The other day, I went on a pillow smacking rampage and will admit it felt pretty good! I love the lightness that comes with expressing all that is to be expressed. I can feel more and can sense what my inner truth is more clearly! I have also been remined lately that you are free to be you, express all that there is to you. Those that REALLY MATTER will always see the beauty within you. I thank God for those people in my life!

So dare to feel, express and be exposed and vulnerable! That space will open and then what naturally floats up will surprise even you! Go forward strongly in LOVE!

Dedicated and with gratitude to Angela Deutchmann

All that is great can naturally float to the surface....

The past couple of days, I have been aware of themes that focus on making space, setting down baggage, burning through issues or cutting the cords! All this leads to a feeling of letting go, surrendering and TRUSTING! It is not being afraid but having faith and trust as I move forward to bliss!

And so when I think more about it, our greatness, inner being, bliss sweet spot can be weighed down by many things in the ocean we call life! It is when we make space to let go of the weights, burn through the ropes that hold down the greatness and surrender to the natural ability to "FLOAT" that our greatness / inner being / universal intelligence rises to the surface and makes itself available for us to enjoy.

I guess this is why I have had these urges to start de-cluttering of my spare room that has been filled with my past. I spoke about this in Cleaning Room.

So right now when I look to my life, I do see the need to make "space" especially within my professional life when it comes to operating on a new level. I also see the need for space in my personal life to let love in.

So this is short and sweet but something that has been BIG for me over the past week. Make the space (the process is different for all of us). Burn through your issues, lay down baggage, let go of restraints and make the space! What is inherently great / intelligent / perfect / knowing will float up to the surface to your consciousness and you will be able to enjoy and even surprise yourself at what was in that yummy center!

With Love ................................. CB xoxo

Leadership Law # 1 : See the TRUTH beyond the person / circumstance

I picked up a book from my amazing book collection the other day. It is The Greatness Guide written by Robert Sharma (I think!). Anyhoo, I love the way this book is written. Various principles are explained in no more than 2 pages. So I can just flip to any section and there is a concept that I can read and learn from. Leadership is making itself a theme in my life again and I am merely just going with the urge to learn more about it and practice. So a new label is born for my blog: "Laws of Great Leadership" ;-)

Having read quite a few of his views, one that has really resonated with me is the following ability:

"Seeing the truth beyond the person and circumstance you dealing with"

Seeing a higher truth beyond the current reality! I found that amazing. This is very true for me. People that I have worked with or regard as true leaders are those that are able to see, believe and articulate that vision beyond the current reality. The wonderful news - WE ALL HAVE THAT ABILITY!

And my thing is why start big? Why not start small? For me it is in the conversations we have with those we love and interact daily with. Are we seeking the higher truth beyond that person, the circumstance, the current reality or are we sucked in to the emotions we feel, the prejudice we have exercised or not even being interested to understand. Merely get our way and move on. It is how we look for the higher truth beyond ourselves. When we look in the mirror are we driven by our fears and insecurities or can we even look beyond our current reality and see a higher truth that puts that person in the mirror into perspective!

I have decided to start small for now and give this concept a try for the next 30 days! That is my intention! I have already marked a reminder in my calendar to take stock 30 days from now.

1. I will seek the higher truth beyond my colleagues at work and not be distracted by the person, their mood or issue! It is all about the truth of the situation!
2. I will open the higher truth to me when I look in the mirror. And out myself in perspective in the bigger picture of life as I know or learn about it!
3. I challenge myself to cultivate better thinking habits and improve on them to where they currently are

So that is what was on my mind this morning! I dare you to make your list of 3 with this aspect in mind! Mwah!

Cleaning Room :-)

I have no idea where it sources from, but I have been having these undying urges to venture into the "spare" room in my apartment and to start breathing some love and life into it. It was ever since my Mom came to visit that it triggered this urge I have of late.

I started having visions of what colour to paint the room and how to use the room in future. The issue to getting the room to its end state now includes going through years of me storing knowledge, souvenirs and sentiment!

My real issue is books, past project documentation and magazines! I have tons of these! I did this exercise a few months ago and I am amazed how now being a bit older and wiser (looming Birthday probably has something to do with it), I am stronger to let go than I was before.

I have realised that we all hang on to stuff! We hang onto stuff that creates the illusion of coping with challenge, strength, warmth, comfort and generally just a place in our lives where we seemed to have overcome, felt the deepest we could have or had our moments of truth. To me, it feels like we store / stock up to create that fulfil the role as reminders in our lives (purely from my experience).

I realised a few things as I picked up the "reminders", evaluated their worth in my life and decided between the stay and send on your merry way pile, how ever changing my life was and how ever evolving my life will be going forward! That only by letting go and setting free, do I create space for the new.

So using this spare room as my life example, the more I get rid of the old, the more there is space for the new and before I know it, I will have a transformed room! My readings of late (stuff that has me spending time reading in depth) have also leaned towards this theme of little steps make up the journey to Extraordinary! What was most fascinating was how looking at your day sends a strong message of how your life looks and will look! What takes up your diary / schedule probably is going to be the bigger reality of your life! Also to reach your true championship status in life does require the basics be applied consistently. The little steps again!

I also am reminded how letting go can be peaceful versus hard work or crying and mourning! How wonderful the surrender and release can be when you simply ALLOW BLISS! Making that decision and allowing it.

So this week, as this higher truth / perspective / wisdom becomes clear as my desire to experience my greatest bliss. What soothes me and allows me to let go in a big way, is the fact that what I need in terms of knowledge, experience and perspective is always around me and available to me. Hanging onto to all those books, past project documentation and constant reminders of the great in my past life, was holding me down to open up to the new perspective, knowledge out there.

I can now see how I was resisting learning new in my professional space and longing for the familiar to get back into a professional comfort zone.

So here is to making space (a little step of many)................................. after all, I going to end up with one sizzler of study after the spare room transformation and who knows what wonderful experiences will come to dwell in that new space ;-)

Blasts from the Past!

I was being a very good boy the other night and went to gym. I was a mean cardio machine as I kicked a$$ on the treadmill and stepper! And while I was overdosing on endorphins, I heard my name being called. There she was............................................................

Someone that I knew from back in day when I lived in a small city! A Blast from the Past!

It was what I felt during and after the encounter that sparked this post! I felt this sudden need to impress, to make things sound better than they actually were and generally make my life sound awesome! I was automatically taken back to my trained / learned social responses when I was a young insecure teenager trying to find his way. Fascinating how by having a simple conversation with my "blast from the past", the powerful reflections of social conditioning, my survival tricks I learnt when I was most afraid and insecure, my need to impress to appear better and my envy radar all were up on BLAST / FULL POWER !?!?!?!?!

I was left thinking how we deal with our blasts from the past is correlated to what we still carry in our baggage! It seems like our pain, anger, resentment, fears can be mirrored quite effectively when paths crossed are re-visited from people we knew in our past!

Talk about an effective "PROGRESS" check! *GRIN*

This is beginning to shed light on the very first post (Spotlight) I did when I took the brave step to blog and share my inner conversations. How generally I hate been judged, boxed and labelled but more importantly how my frustration with others that do that to me is fed by my ignorance of how I do that to myself. Put myself under that spotlight. Speaks volumes to the need for some release work of what comes with the spotlight I shine on myself!

What is real for me now is to see how some of pain, fears and ego related responses have still got a space within my heart. How the teachings of my parents, community and culture still play a role in some of the responses and beliefs I hold dear. How my degree of feeling great versus wanting to run and hide indicate the degree of how I have dealt with my baggage.

This message has always been clear for me when I bumped into my blasts from the past on the romantic front. I revel in the wisdom/insight I have gained from being in relationships. It really all comes together when I bump into my ex BFs and realise how I have grown and moved to a new level. It is such a delight when I am in a new relationship and I am able to move forward and operate on a new level where the guy definitely gets a better version of me than the previous guy. Love that BTW!

So I got a message and I know deep down that it has something to do with my inner critics, my inner jury and how they learnt to judge. Amazing how that is so well worked into my mind. So I am irritated that your work is never done but knowing when the irritation subsides that the enlightenment is the gift!

So if anything my experience and wisdom tells me it is time to set some baggage down and make room for new perspective. I always loved that phrase when I was a young boy attending church religiously "Give your burdens unto the Lord" For me it now means to trust that solutions are there and allowing the visibility to exist for you to see clearly and take action!
So in this cycle, envy and blast from the past check point let me know it is time to shine some light on baggage I can let go and make space...................................................What is great to see is that the squirm factor is related to the "how I have dealt" factor! hehehehehehhe love that!

Today!

I was watching Grey's Anatomy today on my PVR! It was meant to be the day that Meredith and Derek got married but ended up being Izzy and Alex's wedding. It was also happening amongst a graduation ceremony that went all wrong for a group of young people who had their lives flashing before their eyes as they lay in the ER.

The BEEEEEG message I got today from that was stepping up, opening up and claiming! Having the courage to choose and the faith to keep moving forward.

I am reminded of how this applies to life and how easily we can take all the GREAT for granted. It is only when faced with our mortality and the nearing of an end of phase for us, that our true desires, our bliss, our TRUTH make its way out clearly in the form of REGRET!

I realise that everyday, every moment is an opportunity. Every moment in our lives is the power to choose, to live, to embrace, to allow, to be happy! We have the power to make that choice that takes us closer to peace, love and bliss. We have the ability to take action that creates love and happiness in our lives. We have the gift of spirit, higher wisdom and universal intelligence that is innate within us.

But through all the tears while watching the wedding I realised a truth for me in terms of relationships. I love weddings when the bride or groom share their journies. But a theme that comes out soooooooo strong is that no matter what, they were assured of the person's love, acceptance and safety of being there!

And I am comforted by seeing that being good to me and loving me in the best possible way allows me to be good and love someone in the best possible way! So today I choose to be gentle and awesome to me as it prepares me to do the same for others that come into my life or currently exist in my life. Today I embrace being a gift to more than just me.

Today, I open myself to beauty of LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES that I see clearly, that I know is true in any situation I find myself!

If today was your last, what would your TRUTH be?

CB's Attention: Obesity on the rise GLOBALLY ?!?!?!

Today I was busy doing some industry catch up. Part of staying relevant in my profession! At the back of my head, I should be more aware of the bigger picture but when you in a delivery role, you do tend to get lost in the detail of it and not see the bigger picture. That has been a sore point for me workwise, been lost in detail and losing touch with the bigger picture but that is for another time and space!

So I was busy reading about the key trends in the apparel and footwear segment in the consumer goods industry. To my surprise, I saw a trend that allowed for a whole bullet point all on its own in the research material.

Growing obesity is causing the increase of plus sizes for clothing in the industry segment.

I just got to thinking where is this balance between loving yourself authentically and making excuses for just being fat????? Where is the line between saying I am the fuller figure and I love it versus I know I am sedating pain, being lazy or filling a void using food!

I believe Oprah helped me discover that I to was a comfort / unconscious eater. It definitely explains my fondess to smoking (craving the same as hunger) and food! When I am gaining weight these days, I know something is off or I am denying knowing and working on something within me. It was also on Oprah that I watched a series they did with overweight teens and the big take away for me was to see how much pain they all were in! That was the bottom line. All this pain being sedated by food!

Some facts I found from the World Health Organisation:

FACTS ABOUT OVERWEIGHT AND OBESITY

WHO’s latest projections indicate that globally in 2005:

• approximately 1.6 billion adults (age 15+) were overweight;
  
• at least 400 million adults were obese.

WHO further projects that by 2015, approximately 2.3 billion adults will be overweight and more than 700 million will be obese.

At least 20 million children under the age of 5 years are overweight globally in 2005.

Once considered a problem only in high-income countries, overweight and obesity are now dramatically on the rise in low- and middle-income countries, particularly in urban settings.

I am left wondering if there is really that much pain in the world that is being drowned out by food or that much emptiness that needs filling? Practically, is it merely just being caught up with a fast life with so many choices that the easiest, quickest and most available is the way to go without any consideration for the nutritional value!

Then add in the idea of the balance between allowing versus denying yourself pleasure. The mere mention of this phrase implies that you at least have the love thing going right on the inside. If that is all in place, the eating naturally takes care of itself!

At this point, all I am left with is if obesity is on the rise like it is, I pray that my kids and their kids (ok even broader than that)!

I pray that somehow we find a way to empower our younger generations with sound coping mechanisms and the wisdom to find truth and not be afraid to deal with it!

That is what is rambling in my mind as I refresh my industry knowledge!!!!!!! Till next time!!!!

Goals! Bullsh1t?

I would like to thank the Universe for taking me into this thinking loop as well as Angela for putting me on the spot from our last coaching session, you had me questioning my goals at the end of it all ;-)!

So I am now in this loop of Inspired Action vs Motivated Action. This theme has become rather strong within me so I going on the notion that it needs a space to be expressed. As I was going about my business getting ready to get to work today, this notion of:

"Setting Goals for oneself is such Bullsh1t!!!!!!!!!"

was spinning in my mind!

We live in a society where being goal orientated is the name of the game to success. It is working towards some tangible end point and thus we are motivated to work, push, go beyond our limits to reach this tangible end point. Now for me, it has been an empty experience of late. My promotion, my past relationships, my material achievements, even my obvious weight loss!!!!!

I would be thinking that all that accomplishment would have me smiling and saying YEAH BABY, BRING IT ON! But actually not, I am feeling "Oh well, if I can do this without even much hard work, just imagine what I can accomplish when I actually do!" And then comes the work to motivate for a tangible consequence and so the vicious cycle begins!

So we at this point! Let's start giving a F#$#K and moving towards inspired action! So it demanded further unpacking and when I dig a bit deeper, I come to the following notion!

It is really all about the feeling at the end of the day!

What is it that we want to feel and vibrate with at the end of the day? Because once we tune into that, goals for me is surpassed by livin the dream!

I have found lately, that when I am living and caught up in that feeling of bliss, content, gratitude and love, goals are the furthest thing from my mind and heart. Living the moment, trusting that all is safe and ok, and enjoying what is in front of me is the name of the game. Positive consequence is all a by-product and not even part of the mind & heart equation!

Goals for me at this point are too practical and scream get motivated to get a consequence or avoid a consequence! And yeah, I can believe how good some us have become at it. Our professions, society, media, close relationships, family etc. There is some element that leads us to set goals and motivate ourselves to achieve them!

I am sorry but I am looking for magic and burning on pure passion / love / source energy!!!!!!!!!!! There is a magic, a world of possibilities, no constraints, an open heart and being limitless! That is the space I believe we should be living and operating in, or at least a NORMAL day for me!!!!!!!!!

So for now, my jury is out on that! I know deep down for sure there is a balance between the magic and goals way of livin! Interested to know if there is some input out there on your take of goals vs livin the dream?

I am very interested to hear / read...................................................................

Till next time! Mwah!

Inspiration vs Motivation! Which side of the scale do we sit?

So I received the most interesting concept in my inbox today that really resonated with me. It was on the notion of what goes on inside us when we have inspiration versus motivation driving our actions. And I believe if we all dug a little deeper we would know that there is such a difference in what we manifest, create or deliver when we inspired as opposed to motivated.

So the bottom line:

Inspiration = It is very much like the sun. Lights and burns regardless. Its mission is to burn brightly and light up!

Motivation = Knowing a consequence and telling yourself I will do it or I won't do it but I am driven by the consequence rather than the action itself!

I wonder if we all took the time to see where our hearts and minds resonate (inspired living versus motivated living) and see the reality in our lives, I am sure it leaves us with some questions of where is the LOVE in what we do?

When I look at my life and see what inspired action has brought me, I am truly amazed and grateful for my inner light that was given a space to shine brightly despite doubt, fear, cynicism and the what-ifs. I see how all those actions have come into place to make my life the wonder and richness in some areas and the lack of it in some areas.

So I begin to see what this law of attraction means for us. We get still, breathe, open up to the inner wisdom and inner light that is gifted to us all. With trust and faith, we receive the inspiration and then as the definition of genius requires, we take action and work at it!

So my intention for myself and all of you is the following:

May your mind and heart be open to see possibilities in every situation effortlessly!

(borrowed from my mirror affirmation collection)

Figure out where you sit today, think back to when inspiration guided you and the result. Pray and affirm for a way to find your link back to your inspiration! Then get prepared for courageous action taking!

Practicality I am seeing how my breathe work is strengthening my link to my inspirational light. I am seeing how my spiritual work with my spiritual group and coach is helping me put context to my divine messages. By seeking truth and wisdom, it is being created within my life. I see this in my daily life at work, my blog and blogs that have come to me to follow and from various sources.

With love go forth and take inspired action..........................xoxo

I am finding a way to let you in.................

I honestly feel like I am having a "tea party" lately. Around my table are the following guests:

• Love with all her beauty, grace and wisdom


• Fear with all his irrational, highly absorbing, distracting manner


• Love's cousins who are peace, trust and self belief (all beautiful ladies really!!)


• Fear's cousins who are doubt, self sabotage and unworthiness

It has been an interesting journey that it is now becoming evident to me. I am finally finding a way to let greatness, goodness and self belief into my heart to join my tea party. It is a huge step where before I left them knocking at my door and refused to answer. Now I have opened the door and invited them in.

And now I see how I am playing nervous host seeing how they interact with my very close and dear friend FEAR and his cronies!

So this is where I am finding the source of my anxiety of late. Having found a way to attract and let in Love and her cousins and now having to deal with the new found dynamic I see unfolding at the "tea party" in my heart! It is all fascinating, a roll coaster ride and one where I am always faced with a choice!

Gravitate to Love or Gravitate to Fear! Who do I align with? The answer seems easy doesn't it? Then why the struggle?

I do see progress though which does make me excited and know that the bricks to bliss are being laid for me to one day live in my home of love! Fear and I have been together for soooooo long that I do feel battered wife syndrome with him. Somehow I do feel we belong together, well at least that was what I felt!

But there is a slow and interesting change brewing. I am seeing the cracks between my relationship with fear. When events happened in my life and presented themselves to me on a silver platter waiting for me to take action and enjoy the rapture, I have moved from a feeling of hopelessness in some instances to a person of anger.

To me this such a step up as I find anger a bit more positive than absolute depression and hopelessness on the emotional scale. It does mean that I am beginning to see and unpack what it means to have love, self belief, security and trust resonate and be real within my heart. So this is progress and this is scary and also exciting.

I am seeing how it is coming through, flowing like no big deal to the Universe and how all this beauty and greatness is being laid in front of my door. All I have to do now is open the door and let them in and enjoy the tea party. Apparently from what I have read and been exposed to, life is meant to be that simple! Letting greatness, bliss and love in your door to have a blast at the tea party in your heart!

In work, play and my bliss path, there are opportunities coming in. I have the greatest opportunity now laid before me for work, I have attracted a good man with good intentions, I have created an amazing house that makes me feel like I am home and safe, I have the greatest friends that love me no matter what, I have a family that supports and loves me without much effort and I go from strength to strength in my life!

An yet despite all this goodness and all this love I have physical evidence of, I find myself doubting and wondering when the other shoe will drop! When my long time companion fear, will play his trump card and I will then quickly and without question move to his side to continue our relationship. Before it was a feeling hopelessness, now it is just frustration/anger! This good because that can be worked on in terms of action ;-)

So yes, I am happy deep down to now looking to find a way to let Love and her cousins in! Now the fun begins with the dynamic at the tea party in my heart!

Let's see how this unfolds! Till next time! Mwah!

Halo! The sequel!

So I was really inspired to sit in silence and breathe after my "Breathe Workshop" last weekend. The sentiment I loved from that workshop was stripping off your ego, silencing the mind, and dropping shackles to make room for your GREAT, your TRUTH and your inner ROCK STAR to vibrate and exist within you. You being all connected and one with it. I am seeing how this is allowing my inner light to burn brightly!

So this week I have been smiling a whole lot but also realised something HUGE...................

MotherF#$#er have we all been programmed! We are really weighed down with dominant thoughts that do not serve us, silent tapes/scenarios that play in our heads that cripple us, buried beliefs (hidden in some snug place) yielding its influence on us and us not even knowing! This is what I love about life, relationships and the experiences we have in our lives. That inner discomfort, negative emotion is really a gift to us who believe in transmuting that emotion to its opposite. The road to our BLISS!

So my first installment of Halo covered someone seeing through your bullsh1t and looking at the inner truth. With breathing, I am beginning to look at the man in the mirror with the same sentiment. Looking beyond the bullsh1t to the beauty and truth that lies beneath the skin at the core of him. And that is becoming a fascinating and exciting process where I find myself smiling more, appreciating more, being open more and cherishing the beauty that exists. To be my own angel and not depending on someone else to be the prince in shining armour is beginning to find comfort within my heart!

To be comfortable to shine my light, open up to the world and let it in, appreciating beauty in people, nature and the process of life. To look deeper and not be afraid to see and let it just be and steer away from boxing it, classifying it or judging it! With this I find myself back in a space of gratitude for the gifts that are coming my way already with just a few days of breathing and being in fullness:

• Work is becoming more interesting again and I am beginning to enjoy it. I am finding my way back to passion which means I am finding my way back to being a tremendous value creator which is very much the space I am so used to operating within. I can finally feel my way back to that space (HOME). Loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




• My sense of home is strong. It is safe, sacred and has love all over. I am loving how the space is becoming a rock in my life!




• I going a date with an amazing man this week! I am ok with how it unfolds and I am looking forward to knowing someone, being me and enjoying the ride. No mental drama or wondering! Just in the moment. Being me and enjoy him being him!!!!! And trusting that whatever happens next, serves me awesomely!




• Finally trusting a bit more (I believe this is the Universal tests I get to check my readiness, having faith and trusting the greater good! I believe I constantly get tested with experiences to establishing that I am progressing in this aspect!). Trusting that my greater good is served and that it all works out as it is meant to be. Took that stance on some challenges this week and boy did they work out beyond expectation. I was even pleasantly surprised and then realised how the negative banter, the negative sentiment as my first point of call was not really worth it and just created work for me to change the emotional set point around to other side of the Fear/Love spectrum!

What I have clicked is that there is work ahead of me. I am finally beginning to see my negative programming coming to light and in some instances cannot believe why I did not see it before. All that belief that can be let go if I am just brave enough to move forward without their perceived comfort! So I find myself in a very exciting place. Testing and experiencing for myself and step by step, opening paths for new programmes that serve me! What an awesome journey this is becoming!

The walls are beginning to tumble down! Loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe!

So I have heard that trusting in your greater good, that all will be unravelled and be revealed at the right time and place is something like breathing (I think that Louise L Hay was responsible for that pearl of wisdom for me). You breathe, not worrying about the next breathe, knowing that just as you exhale you will inhale again to supply your body with oxygen. So if it is your undying trust to know that your next breathe will be there to nourish and provide your oxygen needs, why is it such an issue to trust that same universal power with the rest of life's blessing and path to bliss!?!?!?!?!

But I guess it is about the first step. That step of trusting and saying here I am uncertain, not sure WTF will happen, scared sh1tless of something I do not fully understand!

But here I am and now I decide to lay down the above burden of worry, stress and figuring out how! Here I am trusting, having faith and moving forward with strength.

I attended a breathe workshop yesterday and I finally understood the bliss of being in the NOW! You know where no past or future was in that space, just me , my breathe and simply being! I finally could allow the comfort of knowing, calm, peace and bliss to wrap around me gently and hold me sweetly while I simply just allowed myself to BE!

I will admit that I was not blown away completely by the event but more taken on a path where I would like to explore more. There is something to be understood about breaking the EGO down and shaking off the shackles of what the EGO drapes on our being to not allow for our TRUTH to shine brightly!

And that was the magic for me from yesterday, the path to my TRUTH! That gets me very excited as I delve into this deeper and explore, discover and be my TRUTH!

I know from this experience that I need to pursue the "HUG OF LIFE". But that will be explained in another post when I understand that TRUTH a bit deeper!

But this has been my Saturday, a day with Crazeebee minus the EGO for a while and simply being with no agenda, responsibilities, no need for anything just simply BEING! Amen!

Reminders from a Pamper Party.....

Last night I attended a pamper party. Initially being extremely irritated by the homework of getting all the stuff for the party, coming to the party and seeing how each of us went through our process allowed blatant stuff to be reflected back to me. It is true, your relationship with any human being is a mirror reflecting back to you what you need to see and know.........

So first, let's deal with the irritation!

I was irritated because it meant me having to give of myself. I could not outsource and buy my way out of this one. We were asked to create stuff! So it definitely showed me how I shy away from giving of myself to others without hiding behind extravagence or glamour!

I picked a black box to put all the treasures in! Just represents how well I hide who I really am to the world. When I looked at the others' packaging, all colourful, a definite way in to see the treasures or peak interest in the treasure, like an invitation to partake in the treasures! Mine was a sealed black box of treasures! How inviting/scary was that to anyone on the other end receiving from me ???????

The treasures that made the hugest difference were the ones that had the most of me in them. An example is that I actually baked something and that had the most profound impact on the person receiving! It was a true moment knowing just by baking that I had such a positive impact in someone.

So I am sitting here this morning (just giving the facial mask its time to do its thang!), knowing that to give of yourself is a joyful process. To receive means giving that joy of giving to someone else. I also know that the true essence of powerful giving is giving purely of my essence and who I am. This stands to reason that I become the best of who I am in order to give of the best of who I am to others.

It has reminded me how simple yet powerful we can be in terms of making a difference! And by that it means making someone's day, being a positive light, cheering up or lifting up a spirit! All this by simply giving of who you are.

Thanks Universe for this reminder. It has been noted!

More from the treadmill....

So it looks like the treadmill is the place where I am clicking puzzle pieces into place (calorie counter post). So I was doing my thing today on the treadmill wondering if I could achieve the same result as before. Go over 200 Kcal?? Sunday I had this strong urge to not go to the gym and just rest. Not because I was lazy but just because I yearned for rest.

So as I write this, I realise how savouring is something we need to do as humans. Savour and spend time being truly grateful for what really exists. As we evolve and manifest and live out our blissful desires, there also comes a time to enjoy what becomes a reality and savour it!

I also had my weigh in for the my Body Project. I picked up 0.5 kgs but lost 1% of body fat. My trainer says that equals muscle building. LOL! I will take that! And I did it all eating what I really felt my body wanted and not my ego! But let's see where that will take me.

So today, I chose to savour and embrace moments of fullness, perfection and gratitude. To be in that space where all is well, no past or future cloud the issue but just the moment and my breath are the reality. In that moment we know freedom, perfection, bliss, safety, comfort and warmth!

Here is to savouring the moments of fullness..............mwah!

Keepin it Gangsta!

AKA : Staying true in the situation / Keeping it real / staying true to the cause

So I had my favourite music channel on today. Experiencing a beautiful autumn day in Johannesburg and had the strangest feeling! Like I had this clean slate / blank page and I could chose to fill it with whatever I wanted! Anyhoo, while doing the routine "dance my way" to getting ready for the day, the term sprung out at me from the television "I'm gonna keep it Gangsta!"



How I love google! When in doubt, GOOGLE! So I found the meaning of the above phrase! And loved the twist to it! Very Urban / Street vibe going on. But the message got me thinking...





KEEPIN IT GANGSTA!! hmmmmmmmm


CB definition : This term makes me think of the truth that burns at our core! When we remove ego, insecurity and fear basically the other side of the emotional scale and resonate on the Love side where hope, positivity, strength and bliss dwell we find the essence of what keeping it real means.

Being faced with completely packing up and leaving SA for about two years (for work reasons) got me thinking of what "home" really meant to me. And funny enough, it had nothing to do with the city itself but more that feeling you get walking down the street on a typical day in your home town!

All I know that it has more to do with what life represents to you in that moment when you in the world with its hussle and bussle. In that now moment where everything is perfect including you and what is on its way is a bundle of excitement, positive anticipation and salivating glands getting ready to enjoy the deliciousness of the blessings!



But I got thinking to who's version of the truth counts?!!!!?!?!

There is always an opinion (expert), someone who has a life changed for the better and reveals their secret, our "Heroes", our God who we not supposed to question but merely trust (well that was the taught version when I was a kid which I so do not believe anymore) and then yours! That loving, warm whisper that lets you know what is true for you!


And I see how listening to this truth does tend to be a challenge for most of us. My most relevant right now is trying out this empowered eating thing. Ignoring the scale for a while, listening to my body and consuming the foods I believe it is asking for and knowing how that differs to emotional cravings that when substituted with food is the problem! Beginning to understand emotional set points and knowing how to navigate back to vibrational frequencies of Love, Bliss and Positivity! All this about listening to that inner voice and inner intelligence.

But I also am becoming aware of distractions that push be right back into fear and then that tender whisper from within is drowned out by the "expert", the "hero" or the anyone I deem more worthy of a voice as insecurity and doubt consume me and fade my voice....

I love how simple this theory can be! Are you closer to Fear or Love inside? With that you can honestly navigate to clarity and your inner truth when you make a deliberate attempt to get to the love side of the scale within you. Imagine the magic and power you can unleash! Yum Yum Yum.....


So tonight, just a little note to remembering to keeping inner truth strong and knowing that we all blessed with intuition, that voice of universal intelligence and wisdom! Here is to listening to it and here is finding our way back to love when plunged into fear............................

xoxo

What the Calorie Counter Display on the treadmill triggered......

So I received a little reminder of what faith in the process is all about and from the strangest of experiences. If you have been following my blog, you should have picked up that I am very much on that vibe of getting back into shape and giving my body the best chance it has at being healthy and radiant. So I am on this run and sweat everyday thing as one of the options!

Last night was the routine get on the treadmill, enter the workout details and this time I was aiming at burning over 200 KCals in 15 minutes! I seemed to be hovering at 190 KCals which was getting last season. I was in the mood for a new frontier!

So last night, I finally achieved my goal of breaking into that new frontier! But I achieved it differently to how I originally intended. My obvious strategy was 1 minute low intensity , 4 minutes at high intensity until all 15 minutes were used up or I caved in from esxhaustion then just take it easy till the 15 minutes were up. But last night I oscillated speeds. 1 minute low intensity, then went for what I was comfortable to run at plus the speed that challenged me physically. So 1 minute comfortable, 1 minute stretch and so I alternated until the 15 minutes were up or exhaustion set in!

I was amazed at how much I achieved by trying that approach! On the drive home I realised that the way to your bliss / goals for happiness are honestly a windy road versus a straight path. The step forward step backward theory may not always apply as I used to see it before!

So there will be times when you feel like you going back but maybe that is not the reality of the situation! And that is how I was feeling lately with the setbacks at work that maybe my growth professionally was taking a nose dive. But what I did not consider is that maybe I went onto a comfortable speed for a "minute" before the next challenge "minute" for growth and insight was on its way.

The bottom line is that I am probably still on the path to a new threshold, the trick is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other! Something like a labyrinth! The delicious goal is in the center but there is a winded path to it. It will feel like being set back, declining or losing your edge but you merely on a path and eventually you get to that delicious center. So take the journey as it reveals itself and comes to you!

I also ended up being extremely grateful and I would like to give a space for my top choices and this is in no particular order:

1. For my blog! It has been such a beautiful mechanism to be honest, real with me and an outlet of what goes on inside. I am also grateful for people that take the time to read and/or decide to share! I am all for enlightenment!
2. My awesome friends and my growing circle of friends. I am truly surrounded by strong, passionate, wise and beautiful people. I am truly blessed and wealthy in that department.
3. My professional life. I work for one of the best consulting firms in the globe and doing pretty darn good in that firm amongst so many brilliant people! To enjoy unbelievable support, growth, opportunity and every day have the ability to make a difference and add value is such an awesome call to my character. I work with amazing people from which I learn from and receive some amazing inspiration from! I am also grateful to be living this especially in the Global Economic Crisis where some good people have lost their jobs.
4. My home is taking on such a personality. I am seeing the fruits of putting my love into it and now it feels like a home not just a house I used for shelter. I am LOVING it!
5. My family that has taught me to be the person I am, challenged me to go beyond who I was to be more than I could have dreamed of and who love me despite the great and not so great that lives within me. A safe place to breathe and just be and receive and give pure love!
6. For the wisdom, intelligence and guidance that is all around me. All I have to do is listen and reach out and I have answers. That is so awesome to have that at my fingertips!

So yeah, that is what a treadmill did for me last night! Here is to breaking into new thresholds ;-)

Daylight

What an awesome weekend!!!!!! Danke Universe and Crazeebee!!!!!

I love a good night out! I have not had one of those in such a long time. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to forget such basic yet powerful pratices. Making connections!!! So the down low...........

I went to a dinner party last night and I only knew one person at the party that I had not spoken to in like 5 years. So I was faced with the concept of being the new boy in the group. And this was a group of gay men only. It had been so long since I did the exclusively gay thing. I think ever since one of my best friends (gay boy) moved out the country, I kinda just did not make an effort to make any more gay friends. So when this opportunity presented itself I was like, OK! I am scared sh1tless (So rusty at this! Do I have to sharpen my B!TCH game talk?) but hey take a chance!

As much as I love my straight friends who have played a fundamental role in assisting me with carving out the awesome life I do have. There are those times when only a gay boy knows. And it is just so great to kick back, share and learn.

And what a lovely evening it turned out to be. A bunch of fabulous good hearted men, great food, red wine and awesome company. This is what I love about new adventures that put you out your comfort zone or merely meeting someone new. I am constantly amazed at what I learn from the experience and about myself. The insights are soooooo delightful!

I loved how we were able to share, connect, learn and enlighten. Awesome, awesome stuff! This so reminds of the days when I was discovering Cape Town and making it my home. The parties, the people, the city and myself. I was constantly on a high there as I grew closer and closer to knowing who I was and starting to love who I was. I had that same feeling last night.

That feeling of connection with something higher, the melting of good energy and just rushing on the goodness that living is meant to be! Fun, Easy and Blissful!!!! Clearly I got my fair dose of the universal happy drugs! I want some more...........BTW!!!!

I also had my weigh in today and proudly, progress and according to project targets. Yipeee! The blubber is melting away. That Easter blimp is out the way and moving on steadily to making more progress.

I also attempted to bake today. I got a friend to play the role of coach as I attempted to do something homemade with love from me not my favourite Food Market Store. So I created some delicious beautiful chocolate brownies. This is for a pamper party I am attending soon which promises to be a delicious affair of spoiling ourselves. Yum Yum..........

So right now, it is about being in the afterglow following some awesome experiences. I got to share who I am, expand my world, meet some awesome people, feel connected to great energy, create with love and relish in the amazing bonds I have in my life with some good people.

So HUGE thank you for my blessings, for the turn around in my emotional vibration, for the small amazing moments that all add up and just a darn good time. Keep 'em comin!!!

I was thinking so much about rays of light when I thought about this weekend's experiences.

That is why I can take on the world after watching a sun rise! How you see the light fill the world and take over gently illuminating all it comes across. It is pure and beautiful! And I love the concept of the brand new day that comes along with a sunrise.

The opportunity to take the next step forward, to decide what next, to make better and to live and be! Just a constant reminder of when darkness hits how one has to embrace light and love....................the path then becomes clear. So moving forward....................................

Right Here! Love vs Human Nature?

What happens when the going gets tough? When your life seems to have some challenge, some nasty road bumps and you find that you trip or have a speed wobble. The result - You fall with your face flat in the gunk!

And this is the part where it is in your best interests to pick yourself up! Dust off the gunk! And try, try, try again to get to your bliss.....................So it stands to reason that the most powerful part of this process of digging deep, tapping into resilience and finding the energy somehow to move forward lies in that conversation you have internally to get your mind and heart back to burning brightly with purpose, passion and love?!?!?


I have been having a fascinating time learning about this whole emotional set-point theory. There is this theory that we need to establish where our emotional set point lies on the various areas of our lives and the process is merely to "reach" for a better feeling thought. This assumes that thoughts are the beams that attract your reality and your feelings are your radar as to what is on its way. The better the feeling, the more aligned you are to what is coming. But basically your objective is to find relief by continuously reaching for thoughts that make you feel better. A bit like injecting universal "Happy Drugs" !!! ;-)

Lame Man's version - The crappier you feel about something, the bigger the warning of the sh1t storm on its way to your life.............
I have generally been feeling crap and it has been as a result of events that happened in this week. I was left with the Love Me in conflict with the Ego Me!!!!!!! Truly feeling a little Jekyll and Hyde hovering from needy, wanting assurance, wanting external comfort to wisdom, knowing and trusting and back again. Was rather interesting how I oscillated between the two sides of the vibration graph !?!?!?! I am not in the mood for the looming sh1t storm so where are the universal happy drugs? Hook a brother up!!

And to think a 2kg piece of extra lard evident from the final figure on my scale earlier in this week actually set this off!!!!! How much power did I give that piece of LARD!!!! OMG!!!!!!Cannot believe how it spiraled ??!?!?!


So right now I am left very much with the devil on one shoulder versus angel on the other shoulder! And all this to decide what the next steps should be. Say ok you win b1tch versus I control my destiny, please step aside or face consequences!!!!!
This week with all its challenge was good in reminding me about the internal conversations I have with myself. Not all so positive of late I will admit! And that has been so strange because I am normally quite effective and turning my mind state around. So something to work on. I guess cynicism does creep in when you not too careful.
I am also really beginning to see the benefit of this emotional set point and making a deliberate effort to move up the scale to more positive feelings. If anything (whether this law of attraction works or not) it is the whole concept of getting your mind and your heart in a better place which puts you on a more effective level to take action.
So right now I am confused and working through getting to a space in my head of taking the next positive step to bliss all wrapped up in my personal projects that are currently on the go (with their current setbacks) to manifest that in my life.
I will deal with this week's disappointments and looking to take the next empowered step to getting back on track. I guess I had my moments of feeling overwhelmed but such is human nature (feeling the one extreme to know, feel and appreciate the opposite).
So here is to making my way back to love right here, right now..................I guess one just has to open their eyes and heart! xoxo

I can't remember what I ate...

I woke up this morning in a very foul state of mind (4:40am after hitting the snooze button twice!). I could sense frustration and anger flowing through me. I had to jump on that scale and see what the result of the Easter Holiday was. I was dreading the weigh-in and when the scale beamed back the figure, I was p1ssed off!

2 KGs heavier! Just freakin great! Here is to a “wonderful” day!!!!!!! :-(

After sharing this story with some advisors (all before 9am coffee), they initially told me “no big deal” and this includes my personal trainer who had the pleasure of my ranting and b1tching at 5 am in the morning. For the first 20 minutes, this poor man had to listen to me venting frustration and spitting venom! The rest of the hour I was way to busy trying to get through sets to b1tch! Good on him for getting me out that mind spiral.

But I can see why I would be so angry and frustrated. 2kgs does seem like a little in the bigger scheme of things. But for my life with all that fills it, that equates to 2 weeks of being at gym (6 hours a week burning at a minimum 450 Kcals per session which by some miracle have to raise to at least 600 KCals), forcing myself to eat breakfast every morning and eating rabbit food for dinner (that I must prepare myself without the comfort/ease of rip open, pierce film several times and microwave!). And I am just shocked that 4 days of my mom’s cooking and my overindulgence of it just reverses 2 weeks of hard work??!?!!!

It frustrates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when the rational me comes into play, I know I am left with the following to deal with. Impatience and this need for instant results. That setbacks will happen and it is about forging ahead. That in order for this to be sustainable (a permanent lifestyle change not just a temporary fix) trial and error will be the case.

At least my inner critics are behaving. There has been so much progress in other areas of my body that overall, I am moving in a positive direction. I am just left with questions of is this sustainable; can I keep this up if it feels like work rather than a lifestyle norm? And how can I trap myself in working my a$$ off at gym to sustain poor food choices (I have noticed that this is on the decline! Thank you for some progress)

But I sense the uncovering of a subject that will need to be explored at some point. There have been clues placed in front of me and I can feel the resistance from within. I am just not giving it a space to unfold!

I believe my decision to quit smoking was the first step that has started the peeling of layers on the subject of my weight battle. I learnt a very important lesson at the stop smoking clinic I attended 11 weeks ago. The whole concept of inhaling poison and free-basing nicotine in an UNCONSCIOUS manner. The unconscious part hit me! When I breathed awareness into that, what it really boiled down to was that I was merely forcing my body to cope with poison and really what was the enjoyment? Merely to feed an addiction that made no difference to my life when I really thought about it.

It is the concept of banging your head against the wall because it feels sooooooo awesome when you stop! Addiction at its best!

Then I read the latest Oprah article on her battle with weight and then Angela spoke about empowered eating and giving the body its space to guide you to what it wants. I finally clicked that I am definitely an unconscious eater. I had already accepted and started working on being a comfort eater and have managed to get into that state where I can manage that but being an unconscious eater opens a whole new level that I have to work with. All this begs the question that I am not ready to answer right now……………….


What are you really hungry for?

Now I get the reason for the foul mood this morning..................

To be continued