2010 : TV Moments That ROCKED!

I am so in the mood for looking back on the year of 2010 so please bear with my indulgence.  Below are the TV moments that spoke to me in a big way!

5 - Kurt / Glee / Single Ladies Need I say more! Amen!



Then it spreads to the butch boys.  Amen



4 - The Ugly Truth This was refreshing and some truth to it.  There is something to be said to playing the game a little!




3 - Grey's Anatomy Finale  This was so unsuspecting.  For me it was seeing how people can have what they know be taken away and be destroyed!  It was a episode that freaked so many people out!




2 - Robert sees Kitty bald!  Cry Cry Cry!  For a man to see beauty no matter what!  More cry cry cry!




1 - Justin & Austin at the Wedding!  Awwwwwwwww  The young boy still dreams of that boy that will dance with me!

2010 : The ROCKlist!

2010 was also a great year for music!  Lady Gaga eventually grew on me, Beyonce continued to rock it, Katy pleasantly surprised me with her deepness and I was soooo excited for the star that was Adam Lambert!

10 - Adam Lambert - I really love Adam's style.  He just is who he is and being gay is so a matter of course.  Love that and love his music!

9 - Usher - This man just knows how to smooth it out with his soulful style.  Love "DJ  Got Us Fallin In Love"

8 - Kesha - Loved how she did querky sexy!

7 - Drake - He is a sexy dark soul.  Loved "Find Your Love".  Drake knows how to rock!

6 - Kylie Minogue - Loved "Get Outta My Way"  True Kylie sizzle!

5 - Lady Gaga & Beyonce
I resisted this women for sooo long as it felt like I would be a cliche by loving her.  But once I understood her intention behind the song Telephone, I gained respect for the deepness that she has.  She is an acquired taste in terms of what she is, but for now, I can appreciate where she came from when creating the song Telephone!  Beyonce is fierce as always!



4 - Katy Perry
Katy Perry really surprised me with her latest album.  I was never a fan in the beginning but Teenage Dream was so real that I have now become a fan of Mrs Brand!



3 - Jay Z & Alicia Keys
This is one of those timeless classics.  I loved the feeling of I can take on the world when I listen to this song.  Loved it Loved it Loved it!




2 - Shakira
Whenever I hear the Waka Waka, I fill up with pride, tears and moments of the best time I have had in South Africa in a long time.  What an experience to have had the World Cup overhaul the beauty of my country.




1 - Rihanna
This women knows how to rock it.  From Te-Amo to Rude Boy to What's My Name.  Love Love Love her edgy dark style!

2010 : The Hunks In My Life!

As busy as 2010 was for me, there was still time to spend with the hot men in my life.  They have been a true yummy experience!  I am surprised that  no soccer boys made my list in light of the 2010 World Cup!  Personally, I am a rugby boy at heart!  Something about a rugby player.  Grrrrrrrrr.  Anyhoo, these have primarily been boys in TV series that have managed to catch and maintain my fascination with them.  Enjoy!

Ten
Of all the HOT boys on Vampire Diaries, Jeremy really stood out to me.  That silent, contemplative soul appealed to me along with just all that bulk he was hiding under those jackets. No denying the boy is soooooo kissable!
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)













Nine
Daniel went through a great transformation in Ugly Betty.  I was liking the crush he was developing on Betty. heheeheheh  I was routing for the ugly duckling to get the hunk!  Just loved how he opened up his mind over the series.
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Eight
All Access kept my attention purely because of Jason.  Funny all the time.  I simply loved watching him just be his querky funny self.
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)
























Seven
Connor in Ugly Betty was a winner.  He was just naughty and sexy. He was all about I have to have him just because!  Basically a thrill and nothing more!
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Six
I know he was a bum in Cougar Town but what an adorable character!  Just lovable and dilusional!  He just kept me in stitches the whole time.  Adorable Adorable Adorable!
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)

Five
Something about Cooper's boyish nature and the chest hair (Blush).  But again, another querky delight!
(Wiseman Nos 8 Type)

Four
Loved Grayson in Cougar Town.  Just the man you would love to date.
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)

Three
Maybe it had something to do with him being a wolf in True Blood.  That wild side, that animal in him.  I simply loved the primal side to him.  hehehehe
(Wiseman Nos 7 Type)

Two
Janez from Top Billing has always found a soft spot in my heart.  Love him to bits as he seeks adventure all over the globe and does DIY shirtless.  Amen to him!
(Wiseman Nos 1 Type)
















And Finally, Number One.  Rugby Boys always have a something about them.  They primal, physical, butch and a boys boy!  Yum Yum.  I present Ben Cohen! The inspiration behind Wiseman Nos 7 but also a gorgeous man to look at and enjoy.  He reigned the CB Queer Eye for 2010!

10 Things I Loved . . . . . . .

Cape Town South Africa

Wow, what a week it has been!  It has been fast and manic and for a moment I figured that I had to take a holiday from my holiday!  hehehehehe  But anyhoo, there have been sooooo many great things that have happened on my holiday so far that I have taken note :

1. Gourmet Burger in Cavendish Square - Yum Yum Yum!  What posh burgers!
2. The Gautrain!  Amen, Amen, Amen!  Well done and Proudly South African!
3. The awesome time spent at OR Thambo and King Shaka airports.  Another South Africa project done well!
4. The Foodbarn in Noordhoek.  French food is super uber delicious!
5. Waterford Wine Estate.  The right chocolate with the perfect wine.  Orgasmic!
6. Angel of Mine - love the Monica rendition.  Speaks to appreciating a man in a deeper sense.  Yeah Baby!
7. There is a stress that comes from judging people consistently.  Life takes on a beautiful twist when you give permission for people to be who they are doing the best with what they know and not with what you know!  When you allow for that to be your truth versus harsh judgement, you get the opportunity to actually love yourself even more and enjoy the best in them!  Gorgeous LOVE!
8. A sexy mind is timeless!  A man with a sexy mind is a wonder!  Yum!
9. Risks are there to be taken!  And although you will never know the outcome, you know that you can trust that you have the ability to respond in a Divine manner.  Scary to know but do it anyway!
10. Allowing for people to make up their own minds rather than you making it up for them.  The mental space you save is amazing! hehehehehe

Crushes from the Age of Innocence

Have you ever looked back at your crushes from when you were younger or more innocent probably is the term I am looking for?  You know before all the heartache, drama, men are evil clogged up the artery of pure love and innocence!?!  I was queueing at one of the checkout counters at the start of my holiday trip and that is where I saw him.

My first year university crush!  He looked exactly the same as I remembered him . . . . .

It was awesome taking in his red hair, pale milky skin, his tallness and that quirkiness that I so fondly remember him for.  I found it really weird that he showed up at this point after not seeing him for just over 10 years.  But as my holiday has progressed I am beginning to become aware of the sexiness that comes from the essence that is Wiseman Nos 8!  His character, his sense of humor and his eye that sees the world in such a way that it pulls you into his world of wonder and joy!

I have bumped into quite a few Wiseman Nos 8's this holiday and I have remembered just how much I have enjoyed connecting and spending time with them.  I am remembering that laughing, connecting deeply on a intellectual and emotional level and being invited to see your world differently can be a rollercoaster ride of note.

So here is to giving that clogged love artery a good flush!  And start embracing, loving and enjoying the dealings with a SEXY mind/energy!  Cause boys and gals, that is a timeless sexiness!

xoxo

Wiseman 7 dot Chocolate

This has been an interesting twist of late but I have had this interesting attraction to chocolate!  Usually, pink and lack of sunkissed skin have been true winners for me but there has been a shift and a new dimension has entered the mix.  The dawn of indulging in some hot chocolate!

So it is like someone asked to notice all the blue in my world.  And the mind picks up the blue in everything I would come across such as a car, a item of clothing, buildings etc.  So it is with hot chocolate.  I am seeing it all over.  So no idea what it all means but will simply go with the feeling.  It feels good and that is enough of a indicator to dive in!

Wiseman Nos 7 takes on a pleasant and interesting twist!  My Dating card has opened up in a whole new way!  Lol!

Sometimes, It is about someone loving you despite yourself!

This christmas I am reminded of the greatest gift that I could ever receive.  Just to be loved despite myself!  Just experiencing someone who loves you from a greater understanding, a bigger picture and simply asks and expects nothing more than the happiness that pours out of you.  I am blessed to experience this and I send the hugest thank you to my Family and my dearest Friends!  


Here is to ROCKING LOVE!  xoxo

I LOVE JHB!

It seems my love for Johannesburg grows more towards the end of every year.  Johannesburg over the festive season is a dream.  Traffic dies down as most of the people migrate to the coast.  The city's beauty comes out more as you are not distracted by the road rage you get dealing with each other, you actually drive in calm state and can actually take in the beauty of the city.  Johannesburg is a rather green city.  Not your typical concrete jungle that one would expect.  So I have found myself loving Johannesburg in the past few weeks leading up to xmas.

So made some little changes the past 2 weeks that made a huge difference to my life.  I have decided to get a personal PC and leave all the work stuff only on the work PC.  Amen!  I present the holiday gear.  On the left, is the necessities for my trip and on the right is all the work stuff that will be staying in Johannesburg as I embark on some well deserved time to me.  Yay!  Notice the snazzy new bag I got for my Personal PC.  Always feel like working it on the runway when I have that bag.  hehehehehehe



I decided this year to try out the new public transport provided to us.  One of the great successes of the recent 2010 World Cup was the creation of the Gautrain.  What a wonderful public transport system.  All I can say is well done from someone is simply PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN!

The bus was divine.  Different not driving.  For my non South African readers, this is novel as we have to drive everywhere in SA.  But a beautiful air-conditioned bus.  Was reminded of being in London when I was on this bus.

Touch down at OR Thambo, Johannesburg after a pleasant trip on the Gautrain.  Is it not just a sexy beast.  I  never thought I would see the day that I would be using public transport in South Africa.  Truly something to be proud of.







So I was just in the mood to share the love I was having for the city I live in.  I am really looking forward to the holidays this year for some reason.  I just got that good feeling.  Enjoy your festive season for those who are taking time off.

xoxo

Fem Fatale! Queen Deluxe! Love em or Hate em?

pi

Moffie! Queen! Those were the words that really cut through me at some point in my life.  Whenever some perceived cruel person who utter them to me, I felt like the worst piece of human scum that roamed the earth!  It meant me being a freak, being a monster and just not being someone that deserved a place in the sun like the rest of the normal human beings.

I can just imagine what a challenge it is for some young people out there seeing what is evident on the outside and how the inside differs from that.  As we see in a butch girl and a camp/feminine boy!  I mean I can just imagine what turmoil there must be trying to figure out how you should be and how you should act just to be left alone to breathe and have a place under the sun.

I get it because this topic has really challenged me quite a bit in the past.  How real a man am I really when I have the flamboyant expression down pat, the wrist that can eloquently add drama to what I say, my other mannerisms and dress sense that require people to do a double take to just make sure they seeing something different than the norm out in public!  Down to my parents and especially my Dads who for some reason just could not handle this little freak who looked like a boy but on all other accounts behaved like the perfect daddy's girl!

So in dealing with this pain of what makes a true man, I have had growing fascination at how masculine and feminine energy inhabit us as individuals.  It really shifts how I see the traditional male and female role.  I find the shift moving towards the concept of coming back to the individual and their make up of how the male and female energy co-exists within them.  It comes down to a matter of energies displayed regardless of the human body they inhabit!

What is clear to me is that both are required as they the aim is that they co-exist and compliment each other rather than compete and go to war with each other.  From where I stand, it seems easier for our Hetro pals to get the synergy of the blending of female and male energy versus our gay pals.  From reading up on it, the common themes exis belowt:

The Male Energy is defined as outward, hard, firm, logical, strong, rational, rough, loud.  And the Female Energy is described as receptive, intuitive, inward, sensitive, delicate, emotional, nurturing. 

Masculinity has its good and bad points which include : protective, eagerness, outwardly helpful, harsh, overly competitive and violent.  So does Femininity which includes : openess, being receptive, listening, nurturing, being weak, insecure, tentative and needy

When I look at the above traits/themes,  I can see how at work and with my immediate family, I comfortably inhabit a powerful masculine energy and with my friends and in romance I shift to strong female energy.   And with that comes the pros and cons.  I get significant results/outcomes in the work I do and with my leadership style that make me so successful but I am known to be cold, indifferent and hardcore!  I am considered very loyal, reliable and understanding to those in my intimate circles but on some occasions seen as weak, needy and insecure.

I am realising more and  more, that it is all about balancing the energies and approaching various aspects of life from that balanced perspective.  So amen that I am in a male's body that functions in a very healthy way.  I do believe that I privilege the Female Energy characteristics a whole lot better as I have judged them as superior to the Male Energy characteristics.  I do believe there is room to invite the masculine energy to be present in more of the various aspects of life.  So ofcourse, there is definitely room for more balance.

So this is dedicated to my sisters out there.   Do you and Do it Proudly.  You have all you need in you to shine bright and be yourself and be happy! Mwah! 

Be open to let that inner butchness have a space to exist with the royalty as well. ;)

You Are Always Equipped To Be Bigger Than The Moment You Are In!

Recent events this week made me realise how quickly we can discount our power and greatness as we let a moment get bigger and mightier than us to a point where we are overwhelmed.  Today I simply remember that :

We are equipped with the all the necessary to be bigger than any moment we find ourselves in.  It is a matter of letting our greatness flow through!

I love the above pic as it has the ocean.  With all its power and it simply flows!  That is kind of power we can tap into we simply allow it to flow through us.  Today I recognise that gift in us all!

Confusing the Message with the Messenger!

It is one of the 101's of happiness.  You make yourself happy first!  You are the only one that can truly make yourself happy!  The minute you outsource this to another person, you are destined for anxiety, stress, fear and pain.  The reason being rather simple.  You cannot control another person in what they think, believe, feel and ultimately action.

I was reminded of this in the last week based on a wobbly I had with the current Wiseman Nos 7 in my life.  For a while, I was comfortable that he represented what I desired of a man and that he was a constant reminder of what I wanted to enjoy in a regular encounter with a man.  Somehow, there was a shift from me feeling all good and happy just simply enjoying the experience to it becoming about him being the source of my happiness in the men / relationship space.  And so came the desperation, the neediness, the anxiety and the depression!

I realised how easy it was to slip into making someone other than ourselves responsible for our happiness when it comes to those special people in our lives that we get so much great from.  If we are not careful to keep ourselves in check and honest with what we truly feeling, we end up very easily confusing the message of love, joy and happiness with the messenger.  Thus the messenger ends up being the source of our love, happiness and joy. 

I forgot about the essence of the message with Wiseman Nos 7.  The opportunity to build and share intimacy with someone at their core versus on physical appearance alone.  That truly knowing and loving someone is bigger than what they look like.  That being sexy is bigger than what reflects back from a mirror, that sexy is a state of mind and being!  Getting that confused with the messenger meant that the truth of what Wiseman Nos 7 was teaching me was not burning bright within myself.  It was more me only feeling that with him around.  That is simply dangerous!

So today, I share with you all to look at the source of your happiness, joy and love.  May you have the awareness and courage to see the difference between the true message and keep that separate from the messenger! 

I am not saying it is an easy thing to do but a fruitful one when you can tell the difference.  You then have a choice to embody the message and not expect the messenger to do that work for you!  I am starting to see it and now I know the work required is to simply be brave to let go of the messenger and hold onto the message and allow it to take root in me and burn bright.

Be Blessed!

LadyBugs! Lots of LadyBugs!

I love LadyBugs!  My love for them came oneday when I was watching Under the Tuscan Sun.  One of my all time favourite movies.  I love how the character went through changes after peeling away layer after layer of pain.  There was one scene where she was getting some insight on the art of allowing. 

The Story was about a little girl who wanted to catch some lady bugs.  She would search all day long.  And then she got tired, she simply slept in the garden and when she woke up, she was covered in LadyBugs.

So the moral of the story is that when you let go and simply let the flow of life surround you, you get what you need. LadyBugs, Lots of LadyBugs. 

Yesterday, I encountered 2 LadyBugs, one in the morning perching on my Iron and then a diamond one that one of my dearest friends was wearing last night.  This made me all happy.  Simply a sign of allowing and me being in flow with life.  I discovered this technique a month ago after reading Rhonda Byrne's "The Power".  Found it a fascinating practice of hers, so I simply put it out there a month ago.  The proof showed up yesterday.  LOL!

So my advise.  Get a sign to remind you of when you in flow with life and simply allowing the great into it.  We all need these gentle reminders now and again as we can get so easily distracted from what is important.  I never thought I could see more than 1 LadyBug in a day.  But I did.  So give a try!  It's fun if anything else.

The eye of the Beholder! It's all Relative

I am reminded today that what is seen is seen through the lenses of the Beholder.  The beholder has their filters, prejudice, pain and short circuits that influence the picture through the lens.  No 2 people can ever see in the same way!  So when you add the following topics on the table like "How sexy am I" or "My hotness factor" or even "I am sooo lovable", it's all relative really and in the eye of the Beholder. 

For it speaks volumes to the limitless opportunities out there of what is sexy, beautiful, hot or lovable!  I realised this today after another amazing Wiseman Nos 7 experience.  There are simply limitless ways in how you can be seen as sexy or lovable. 

So the bottom line : Choose the version of truth that you believe and that feeds your soul.  That version being you seeing yourself as sexy / lovable!  Because with all that limitlessness out there, there is bound to be someone that will see it the same way!  And when that alignment happens!  The word that comes to mind is DELICIOUS!

Vulnerability is NOT an act of declaring your love for someone!

I spent some time this morning crying my heart out!  The simplest form of the story.  I put my trust in a man, he disappointed me and it hurt me in the process.  And all because I expected some form of caring and responsibility from someone other than myself.  I can easily connect this to my Daddy Issues of trusting a man who should know better and not have to question him taking care of me.  But I am reminded that vulnerability is merely a gateway to get closer to seeing how comfortable you are with the truth you hold onto!

I am not sure if I can convey how I am understanding it currently but will give a try . . . .

Firstly, I have realised that vulnerability is not equated to loving someone or someone loving you.  For me, being vulnerable is sharing who you are unedited, no glass, no shields, just you STRIPPED!  Yes there is a degree of you having the courage to drop the camouflage and being in the reality of who you are in that moment, but it is an act of sharing the real you in a moment not the full you, but just who you are in that moment.  It does not mean you love the person or the person loves you who shares.  It is comfort to let down your guard and that is all it is!

Then there is the realisation that we are all human with our perfection, talents and our flaws.  We will always take on information through our lenses, our judgment and our reference.  And seeing that we are all not in a position of knowing all aspects of truth, the room to misinterpret and misunderstand exists.  And because the assumption is that we are understood, the expectation comes that the other person now cares and takes responsibility for some of our well being and happiness.  So there is a trust in something "sacred" , "stable" and "unshakable".  But is it really?  Putting trust in another human being with their own path, pain and misunderstandings?  Is the room for hurt not a guarantee with the above formula?

Because that is where the hurt comes in.  We realise that we are misunderstood and that the person's version of caring is not the definition we expected them to live by and act upon to make us happy.  And so we have our trust shattered and we question the safety of the relationship, the comfort of being loved, the security of being taken care of by another and the taking a break from doing the work for ourselves to be happy!

When I could cry no more after feeling all that disappointment and pain, I realised that I all really wanted was to  be taken care of.  Having something wiser, bigger, stronger and all together take care of me, guide me and protect me.  It's not going to be a human.  And this is where I see the power of faith in God/Universe/The Higher Power.  By trusting and having faith in that and looking to see how it works for your higher good, how can we consider trusting all that to a human?  I am seeing time should be spent understanding just how powerful and all knowing this Higher Power is and that I play a role by allowing myself to access this wisdom through the experiences I face.

I believe interaction with each other people serve to strengthen our understanding of ourselves and our journey.  I am beginning to see how vulnerability is about truth coming out in its rawest form.  In coal form as I would like to see.  As you feel your way through it and allow yourself to experience the situation of getting that raw truth visible, the opportunity to work into a diamond exists.

Being vulnerable helps to check in on the truth you hold to give you an opportunity to choose differently.  It does not mean that the person you are vulnerable with takes the responsibility of the choices you need to make in order to get your happiness.  That ownership stays with you.  I am now see how easily I confuse being vulnerable with someone come with an expectation that they will take responsibility for my choice to do the work to get my bliss.  Reverse it as well.  Someone is vulnerable with me, I take responsibility to do the work to get them their bliss!

It's a true gift indeed.  Realising how I was outsourcing my work to a man to make me happy!  Just some thoughts on vulnerability.  Would love to hear what it means to you out there?

The Cost of Guilt!

The concept of how much does the guilt I carry cost me made itself clear to me in a traffic jam. I had taken a few days off work to just get in touch with me without the work titles, the lifestyle etc I thought that I had given myself enough time to get to the airport and then bam! There it was! Traffic! I was pissed that I was going to have to take a later flight and would have to pay for another ticket. I was right, but what I was pleasantly surprised by was the discovery of the cost my guilt was causing me.


I knew that somehow I attracted this situation of being backed up in traffic and missing my flight. In the midst of my anger, I could see it. I was guilty for wanting a break away from the madness, leaving the ship to be steered by people who were busier than me, going on a lavish holiday which was all about me and being simply self indulgent!

Guilt is a weird feeling. It is drenched in shame, remorse and punishment! That violation of some moral code where you just end up feeling worthless. What is interesting is that to release guilt you have to be willing to release your judgment of what causes you to feel the shame! And judgment is merely a decision you have made on a subject. How wonderful that decisions stem from choice which mean freedom. So it is a willingness to choose a different decision that allows you to release guilt!

I have realized that as much as I am working on this whole attracting Wiseman Nos 7 into my life, that I have a fair share of guilt that I am carrying. I am ashamed of my “potbelly” that I have gained through choice of food to let grow out of control! I was ashamed that I demanded a man with the perfect body when I was nowhere near in that arena in terms of my body. It was when I was willing to say to myself that I was still worth loving with my potbelly that I felt a shift in the guilt I was feeling. The more I was willing to choose to release the judgment that a potbelly equaled not worthy of love, the more I could feel that guilt washing away. I have also realized that I am carrying quite a bit of guilt around my prosperity, my work success and even what I desire for myself. So I am willing to start working on releasing that.

I see now how carrying guilt is a result of how we hold a subject in judgment and as long as we choose to keep that judgment in place, the more we accumulate the cost of carrying that guilt. My guilt for being overweight costs me the ability to share an amazing bond with an amazing man. My guilt for my blessed, prosperous life versus some of the people I love costs me my freedom to truly enjoy my prosperity through lack of time and taking on the burden other’s consequences of their choices. My guilt for wanting to create value beyond the mediocre in my work costs me my trust and faith in others doing their best, so I end up having to overcompensate for what they lack!

What is the cost of the guilt you carry? Are you willing to continue bearing the returns of what you hold onto dearly in terms of judgment?

1)Figure out what bothers you in life 2) Is there guilt or shame or remorse? 3) What judgment do you have on the subject? 4) Are you willing to release it and choose differently to allow the guilt to dissolve . . . . .

Tit Bit : An Invitation to Meet it and be!

So I was at Spiritual Circle the other night and got introduced to the ideas of a famous spiritual leader in the US.  I cannot remember her name so apologies.  But listening to one of her talks, where most of what she said flew over my head as it was just too higher grade for me, I did latch onto the following concept when it comes to the unravelling our suffering:

Take up the invitation to meet it!

So from pain, fear and challenge, take it as an invitation to meet whatever is beneath it.  Have the courage to simply meet it.  Not classify it, fix it, get a solution for it, simply meeting it and being!  I have no idea what this means yet but I do know that it is something worth giving a try!

Tit Bit : The Boy in the Museum!

This morning was another good morning spent with the current Wiseman Nos 7 in my life.  He decided to sum up my current love life situation in the following metaphor.  You are like the boy in the museum.  You looking but your are not getting involved and touching!  You are following the rules!

I was kinda left speechless as on some level I was thinking that he might have a point.  But on the other hand, I do see how it speaks to participating and get involved versus being the "safe" observer.  It is about taking a risk and trusting whatever will happen as a result of that.

So here is to taking a risk and not just looking ;)

Tit Bit : Willingness to LOVE those body parts you hate so much?

Have you ever taken the time to marvel at the intelligence that exists in all parts of our body.  I am amazed by how powerful the body is with how it operates.  There is a profoundness when you look beyond the obvious in terms of what you see.  So I have started looking at what it means to love every part of your body and getting to a point of being comfortable in your own skin.  How wonderful would it be for us being so comfortable in our skin and being at ease with life.

So if you scanned your body right now, where does the charge sit that makes you want to hide, get sick or simply wish that the body part was better or even perfect! 

I know it is one of my spiritual practices, to love something that I do not deem to be perfect.  And for me that is the power of loving the self.  Looking at the picture in this post and seeing a beauty in it and loving it without cost! 

So today I extend the same invitation to you that I have extended to myself.  An invite to merely be willing to embrace the concept of loving those bodyparts we hate.  Just be willing and allow yourself permission to  just love it the way it is.  I am curious to see what will bubble up from that . . . . . . . . . .

Acceptance without Cost!

I am really seeing the whole concept of what you give out you get back! And how fascinating is it that I am seeing it in the little things in life. Being aware has its benefits. It is true for me that the deep beliefs we carry are available for us to understand in the physical manifestations of experiences or situations we find ourselves in our lives. By shining some light on even what we deem the smallest things, some powerful insights can come of it!


I am discovering the whole concept of Accepting without Cost! This can be witnessed in so much in your life. How you are in traffic with your fellow drivers on the road? How do you treat your peers at work from what you say to them, behind their backs or what you really think and what you do when you deal with them! How do you speak to your team, those below the ranks to you! How do you really feel and what you share to make their job easier or clearer to them? From the boy that approaches you and you can see he is interested and what really goes through your mind in terms of checklist ticks before you decide he is worth your time. And this all happens in just seconds by the way!

And you can take this broader. What and who do you treat like idiots, with disgust or turn your nose up to? The list is endless but there is something to be said about what you feel about it and how it relates to your criteria for accepting that someone/something is of value!

I have had the greatest moment when I was in the depth of my frustration of why I am not feeling valued and loved with all this spiritual work that I am doing! But I have discovered the possibility of getting back what I give out! When I started looking at how I was valuing what was around me in how I treated various groups of people in my life, my family and even how I valued myself, it became clear!

There were current situations in my life draped with being accepted under a certain set of criteria. A cost I had to bear to get the reward of acceptance. And going deeper, I realized that there is certainly cost that others in my life have to bear to get my acceptance. From the driver on the road that I wish was not given a license, to the cashier at the supermarket that gets my intimidation because she cannot answer my questions, to how treat my team and the ones I love.

What COST must the world and others incur to get your ACCEPTANCE of their VALUE? It would be interesting to see how it relates to the cost you bear to get the Acceptance of your Value . . . . . . . .

Does Vulnerability equal Love?

I spent some more time with Wiseman Nos 7 this morning.  As always it is great bonding with him but we touched on a very very interesting topic.  Men being vulnerable!  For me when a man is vulnerable, it simply means he loves me and so the fantasy of our life together kicks in.  I could not help but wonder. Do we mistake someone being vulnerable as them loving us?  Ever consider that maybe they are just wanting a safe place to get clarity and  not  necessarily take on our affection for them!  hmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . .

So I ponder on!

What do you deserve in life?

Imagine you had to look out in the distance and you saw this "blob" of whatever approaching you! You cannot really make out what it is, but it is coming towards you and definitely is on your path. For the split piece of time before you become familiar with what it is, what goes through your mind? Are you excited or are you nervous about the blob? Are you expecting something awesome or something scary?


For me, the answer that comes from the above questions has so much to do with what we believe we deserve! It is also amazing at how it differs from person to person and how it differs from aspect to aspect in our lives. It permeates what you feel you deserve in your career, relationships, living space and even how you treat yourself.

Our parents, God Bless them, have played their part in teaching us how to deserve. Think back to the days when you wanted stuff as a child how it all went down to you expressing a desire and what unfolded to it either being a reality or different to what you desired. For some it was as easy as asking and then simply getting it. For some, there might have been a whole lot of emotional baggage laid on them, some could have received strings when they got what they wanted and others well simply got told to let it go and accept living without it!

And so we carry that with us today if we have not already chosen to see our worthiness differently. I do see that from my experience, that what I wanted came with cost of someone suffering. That is all I vividly remembered. I would normally get what I wanted but someone had to suffer so that I could get what I desired. That could be that my siblings were denied something or even my parents were denied goodness so that my desires were fulfilled.

So it is no wonder that responsibility carried such heaviness for me in my life. The more and more I wanted and got what I wanted, the more I had this pull to what was going to happen to those I love that will make them suffer. What would happen to them that I would need to take care of them because getting all my desires is great and it is a matter of time will the suffering of those I love kick in.

It makes no sense at all but as a child what really makes sense is all relative. The power is that it is a belief / an expectation and that is all that life needs to go on and make reality for you. So look out into the distance and see that “blob” heading your way. Start noticing how you feel about it! If you believe you deserve all the great in life, I can bet you are pretty excited at what is approaching. If not, maybe there is a wonderful opportunity to check in on your current standpoint of what you believe you deserve.  The change in perspective, could unlock some unexpected treasures to getting what you desire. . . . . . . . . .


Love CB

Responsibility : A new perspective

I had the most amazing journey of insight this past weekend.  I have finally received a framework of responsibility that has changed my perspective. 

Responsibility has always been a heavy word and one that made me feel obliged!  So it is not about "What is the right thing to do" whether I like it or not!  The power now lies in seeing as . . . . . . . .



What does this situation truly call for from my core? What is the best response I can possibly make to this situation/challenge?

 

Tit Bit : The morning Sizzles with time spent with Wiseman Nos 7

I have not seen the current Wiseman Nos 7 in my life for sooooo long.  As life happened, we got to spend the morning together and it was awesome.  I am grateful that I got to spend such quality time with him.  As always, it was a blast.

I loved the way we could chat and laugh at life!

He has the greatest smile and is just so much fun to be around

So in the spirit of what Wiseman Nos 7 offers.  Enjoy this delicious song!

Tit Bit : Does your immediate environment support what you want?

I am soooo invested in understanding how to create a space to attract Wiseman Nos 7 into my life.  I do appreciate the blockages I have but something hit me this weekend that really inspired me to take some action.  When you look at your immediate surroundings, how are they supporting what you want out of life?  If you took a walk about in your home/living space, what does it really say about what you want in life?

I mean let's take the bedroom for example and what it represents to most out there!  It is the space for most where they lay their body to rest and re-rejuvenate, a place to breathe and disappear from the world and for most, a place where you enjoy some great physical intimacy! Today, if you saw your bedroom for the first time, what feeling would it give you just being in its presense?

How many of us have the bedroom in a state where you want to spend time in there and love the energy of what it offers?  From my life perspective, being a typical boy type bachelor, my bedroom was simply a mess of clothes all over with no real place for anything inside the room.  So by it  being a mess, I really was ashamed to let anyone into that room especially if he was an overnight guest.  The timing had to be perfect! That means I needed a day or so to temporarily make the problem go away by cleaning up the room.  But long term the mess would creep back because I did not do it properly.  How is that for my current situation with relationships.  I need to time to be perfect to consider them.  Interesting!

So this weekend, I spent it painfully going through all the stuff.  I decided to bring some clarity to the room. So I started with something simple.  What I did not need in the bedroom had to leave and I attempted to do a first attempt to find a place for stuff.  The room's energy has taken on a beautiful inviting peacefulness.  Love it!

But now, I can see clearly see its potential of what it can become when I apply some creativity to it.  Yes, I got some great ideas for how to re-decorate it but what I love, is that I now see the future vision of it more clearly.

I have no idea if this will make that big a difference to the bigger picture of life but I do know deep down that it did sooooo much for my mental atmosphere.  It was very symbolic of getting clear inside and making space for the greater and new to come in.  All I can do is enjoy the room's new energy and watch this space.  And it cost me absolutely  nothing to create that space.

So I am willing to bet that if you looked a little more closer, there is a physical representation somewhere in your house of your state mind.  And sometimes, by putting some love and energy in that space, helps shift some mental stuff inside.  What have you to lose by giving it a try?

xoxo

Moving from Distraction to the beauty of who you are . . . .

Like with all things in life!  It is all about balance and remembering the bigger picture of who we are!  Simply put, we are meant to be happy, light and experience the best that is out there!  Yes, we get distracted and obsess or focus a little too much on an aspect in life that brings no real return to us or avoid dealing with an aspect out of fear.

But at the end of it all, when you surrender to the bigger picture of you, you come back to the middle, the core of your truth!  That you are worthy and entitled to an awesome happy experience in your adventures!  Be Blessed!

Distractions! Have an idea what distracts you from your best you?

Are Distractions not the best?!?!?! You don’t get to feel or experience the pain! You get to be “protected” from pain or dealing with the yucky stuff. You buy some time before the crash and that is better because you just cannot deal with it right now.  Maybe later you will be ready to deal with consequences but not today!

There is also the view that certain foundations/areas make up the success of what you see as a great life. So we go into obsession of those foundations and forget the bigger picture as we simply get lost in the detail of the make up of what makes us happy!

But distractions really are the lies we tell ourselves through denial or alternate reality to not look at what is really there! We simply lose sight of the bigger picture of who we are and the core desires that go with that knowing of ourselves!


It is amazing how it manifests itself in various ways. From the couple who decides that having a child is the most precious experience and then there are complications! We have all seen how that puts the relationship through some challenges and the potential to put the love for each on hold for the sake of creating a baby does creep in! There is the person who decides that they will be the best that they can be in their career and want to set ablaze the industry with their brilliance. Yet they forget that to truly take it to that level means knowing who you really are.  That when you successful and in charge of who you are, that is allows for the outer world to take note and respond! There is also the person who has had a rough life! As the young defenseless kid, what happened to them was harsh and not really fair! But regardless, they have choice and so they use their choice to hurt others as they have been hurt. You have met them, those always grumpy, angry, nasty people! I mean you just say hello and they will find a way to turn that into an insult and spit some venom your way.

But the one I find the most interesting is the distraction from our various communities. Our work peer group, our families, our religion, our culture and even within our close friendship circles! Through comparison and competition, we have the potential to get caught up in the currents those offer and get swept away in trying to keep up and so we lose sight of our bigger picture!

It is quite simple to know where you are on the distraction scale! Search your heart of hearts for your true desires and simply ask where it is physically in your life? I am very sure if there is still some yearning and frustration for its lack, then something is definitely blocking it and it lies on what is distracting you from enabling your truth’s manifestation!

I borrow an example from my life. One of my dominant desires is amazing, healing, warm, safe intimacy and feeling unconditional sexiness within me! Because I cannot feel that unconditional sexiness within me, I have turned to what I believe I am awesome at in the intellectual space. So I am working harder, getting involved in so much at to keep busy, effective and proving my intellectual supremacy to myself and the world. But the core of my sexiness is how I see my body. No amount of work accolades are going to help me until I start dealing with loving the physical. When I start looking in a mirror and see my well padded tummy and start loving it, my desire to feel unconditional sexiness is blocked! So I am aware that the harder I work, one of the key reasons is that I am feeling not sexy!

So go ahead! Ask the question and let it unfold for you. You know your bigger picture. You know what will truly make the experience of your life its best. What is distracting you from living your best life? I dare you to ask yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Like a Pyramid (the essence of you), stand tall and after the desert storms of life, there the truth of you will stand through the test of time! Be brave to simply see it as it is . . . . . . . . .
 

Song Crush : What Distracts you from your Truth and living as your best?!?

I am not an Eminem die hard fan but I can sooooo appreciate the lyrics!

“Just gonna stand there and watch me burn! That’s alright because YOU like the way it hurts! Just gonna stand there and watch me cry! That’s alright cause YOU like the way you lie”

I am drawn to the concept of how we distract ourselves from being the best we can be!  Those words above is the best of you asking your distracted self WTF?!?!?!  I have replaced some words to make the point!  But a powerful phrase to pose to your distracted self!

The Disease of the Mediocre!

Have you ever heard that story that many parents tell their kids just round about when teenage mania hits? You are the company you keep! How many of us believe that who we surround ourselves with means that is who we are? That our environment has a huge influence on who we get to be? That the influence of our outer world moves inward and can change who we are to something that is just not considered good? So take a look at what surrounds you today and by your judgment of the world, what does it tell you about how you rate your worthiness?


What does the car you drive, the house you live in, the neighborhood you from, the clothing brands you wear, your world travel history, your position on the corporate ladder and the company brand, your salary bracket, your in shapeness versus your friends, work peers, family members  or community do for your worthy rating?!?!? I guess comparison is natural for most of us. You cannot help but look at someone else’s life and make your conclusions from your perspective and then rank it up against what you are and have. In some cases you come out as ahead and that is all great for the ego. There are cases where you fall behind and then your self-loathing has a feeding frenzy!

Our definition of Mediocre to me is simply what does not make us feel special and worthy! It is the association to whatever! A car, a status, a title or social standing that keeps us safe in our self esteem. The lack of that aspect next to our name or our concept of ourselves means we are worthless. And so we treat it like any disease. Avoidance and OTT precautions!!!!! People who have Mediocre need to be steered clear of and not given the time of day as that will rub off on us and God forbid we get infected with their mediocre!

But there are definitely steps for a cure as after all, the only way you really get over some diseases is to get infected and trust that your body produces the antibodies to fight it off and get immune to it when that strain comes around again. So for me, the antibodies for the Mediocre include:

That we are all connected to the Divine! That is huge just simply remembering it and respecting it! We all have Divinity within us. It is merely varying degrees of blockage in people to the innate greatness that exists and is gifted to all of us. So judging another is merely not understanding their blockage that if released would get them closer to their best selves! So are you really part of helping others release their blockage or shadows on path to their greatness or not helping by piling more blockage on them to block their inner-light?

Your Oxygen mask must go on first before helping another with theirs! The best you can do for the world is to stay strong in your truth and connected to your greatness, your inner-voice and truth! From that position of wholeness you can relate to the world from a place of pure and good intention. And we know that a pure intention that any action rides the wave on results in the most blessed experiences for all parties concerned!

In any moment there is the Power of choice! Choice means you do not have to stay where you are. You will be presented with experiences and there will be alignment or contrast. But no matter what happens next, you have choice to stay where you are, or move onto something better. It all is on you and no one can force you unless you allow it. It falls all in the position you take on the experience or situation and that is all down to your choice of what you will believe to be true for you. And with that you can chose to become the Mediocre or chose different for yourself to be!
So with that, I wish us all greatness as we focus on the antibodies to lovingly deal the Mediocre in our lives and in so help more than just ourselves to remove blockage to accessing the great in us all!

Kiss Kiss

CB

Song Crush : The Disease of the Mediocre

Dealing with Mediocrity!  This song really can help with feeling the frustration, the disappointment and the why is it happening to  me!  It has a taunting energy.  The same that mediocrity can have on those people that are aware enough to rise above it.

As they say, feel and express the emotion and then it moves on!

What is Responsibility really about for you?

To be responsible means to take ownership of something. Mentally and emotionally you commit that whatever the undertaking, it is all on you. Its success or failure is under your ownership and you are alone when faced with the outcome. It’s all on you. What an amazing quality to find in someone. That you can trust that they can take ownership and obsessively commit to its success! While this is an admirable quality in someone, ever thought how consuming/destructive this could be when applied to a situation that is not worthy of the purity of responsibility and the gifts it brings?







It cannot be so hard to imagine . . . . . . . . . .

There are the kids that take ownership for their parents’ issues. Enter the case of the impact divorce has on kids. There are the teenagers who won that their differences is deserving of ridicule and judgement, so they own hating themselves as them being different causes the conflict! You see in the workplace where you live off the reputation of your company, your team and the non performers get carried by those who won the success of the team. It is in relationships, where the success of the relationship is owned by one partner that becomes controlling, setting expectations for the couple to live up to and becomes quite a challenge to walk away from as the successful outcome is owned and has to be fixed. It is in the relationship with our parents. Some parents feel need to protect and live their kids’ lives well into their kids’ adult life. Some kids take on the role of parent and feel the need to direct the way their parents should be living . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So I have been asking myself what causes such a pure intention of ownership to be misused or twisted to allow for the above? Is an arrogance that we can do it all and we are all knowing? Is it delusion that we play such a pivotal role in someone’s life or the world as it is? I suspect that it has something to do with getting off the path of what we are! I am reminded of this prayer . . . .

“Lord, grant me the Strength to accept that the things I cannot change. The Courage to change the things I can. And the Wisdom to know the difference. . . . . . “

The prayer strongly suggests that to know the lines of Responsibility also means to allow for your sanity and peace of mind. I believe that Stephen Covey was the first person to introduce me to the concept of responsibility. I learnt this valuable lesson at 23 years old. The concept of the Circle of Control versus the Circle of Influence. The bottom line, if you worrying about what is in the Circle of Influence, you going to go insane as you cannot control that in anyway due to the fundamental principle of free will!

I am left thinking that it comes down to faith in the process! That for every choice there is a consequence. We can try and let the people we care about see the consequences for their choices as we see it. They have the right to agree or disagree with us. But at the end of the day, the choice is still up to them and they face the consequence. Also, let’s not forget how we have come to appreciate, to know wisdom from those lessons learnt. It came from the other side of the pendulum. And by choice we swung the other way to joy. Stepping into the Circle of Influence also potentially cannot help the person learn what they need to. Something rather teach a man how to fish versus fishing for him! (some wise parables from the Bible)

I realize that we can be grateful and visualize and try our best to manifest the great in our lives. It implies a faith and trust in the Universe / God lovingly doing the necessary to bring you what you need when you need it! How contradictory is it that you are able to place faith in God for your life and its bliss but not for another’s life? Taking responsibility for someone’s life and choices really does say “I do not trust in the process” so let me get in there and take control of getting them what is good for them! It seems like such a block to a person that does such great work on themselves but rescues the rest of the world by living its life for it!

So with that I look to going back to basics. What is under my control versus what is in my influence! That for a choice there is a consequence that applies to all of us who possess free will. That I invest love and energy into the wisdom to tell the difference between control versus influence. And then it is about having a little faith in people and faith in the process of life.


Go well and strong . . . . . . . .